Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, March 8th is coming. Inside and outside the Great Wall, up and down the Yellow River, the whole world is celebrating, and all the people are enjoying it.

Brothers from the men's league, if you think so, you are absolutely wrong. March 8th Festival is a festival for women, just like June 1st is a festival for children and Double Ninth Festival is a festival for the elderly. It is not you who should be happy, you are just the humiliation-bearing foundation for women to build their joy on pain.

Do you know what holiday today is? If you answered today is Women’s International Labor Day! Brother, you are wrong again. Today is Women's Day. Women celebrating the festival do not have the word "labor". "Labor" is for you.

Have your awareness improved now? Do you know what kind of person you should be on March 8th, right?

If you answer that he is a person who should work, brother, you are still wrong. On March 8th, you can be as diligent as an ox, as loyal as a dog, as patient as a pig, as amused as a monkey, and as obedient as a cat, but you just can’t think of yourself as people!

Have you finally adjusted your mentality? Okay, brothers from the Men's League, let's start celebrating Women's Day.

On the day before March 8th, men's union brothers should pay great attention to it. They must not stay up late sending holiday cards to their sisters online, and go to bed early before the moon comes out. , so that you have enough energy to get up early the next day. Don't say you can't fall asleep, you have to fall asleep even if you knock yourself out on the bedside table.

At five o'clock in the morning on March 8th, you should get up quietly like Sadako. You should not make a sound to disturb your sleeping wife. Even if you want to spank, you have to clamp your buttocks tightly. The ground clamped the loud fart into a flat fart.

Yawn quietly and you should make breakfast immediately. The bread should be cut squarely, the jam should be spread evenly, the eggs should be fried until they are yellow on the outside and tender on the inside, and the sugar in the milk should be appropriately sweet, and then put them together in the microwave to prepare. Choose crispy apples, peel and slice them and insert toothpicks for later use. If your wife likes Chinese breakfast, don't blame yourself for your misfortune. The porridge is cooked over high heat and then simmered over low heat. Then you rush downstairs to buy steamed buns and fried dough sticks. Don't forget to bring a small can of fermented bean curd and a few salted duck eggs.

In half an hour, you should wash yourself cleanly and spray it sweetly for your wife to use when she gets up. Of course, don’t be discouraged if your wife is not in the mood to see you when she wakes up. Just be prepared.

Don’t rinse your mouth just once. Use toothpaste with the flavor that your wife likes. After rinsing her mouth, chew a dozen chewing gum. Move your tongue and lips, waiting for your wife to wake up and kiss you.

At this time, you should go to the bedroom to see if your wife shows any signs of waking up. If not, you should quickly clean up the room and arrange the flowers you bought yesterday in a style that your wife likes. Don't say you forgot to buy them. Even green onions, brother, you have to put a bunch in the vase for me. This is what women like.

Turn on the stereo, turn down the volume to the minimum, put on the most tender, bourgeois, disgusting, and most offensive record, and mop the floor to be spotless. If your wife hasn’t woken up yet, you can mop her I took out my leather shoes and wiped them while waiting. Remember, don’t wear high-heeled shoes. My wife will definitely be traveling today, so she needs medium- or flat-heeled shoes.

If your wife shows signs of waking up, prepare hot water as soon as possible, fold the face towel squarely, squeeze toothpaste on your wife's toothbrush, carry it into the bedroom on a large plate, raise your hands above your head, Half-kneeling in front of the bed, he waited for his wife's first call to wake up. If you forget to prepare toothpaste and toothbrush, your wife will give you a morning kiss when she opens her eyes. You can't blame her for having a stinky mouth. When you help your wife to the dining table after washing, you can help her massage her shoulders and neck, which were sore from surfing the Internet last night. The technique should be moderate and natural, and there should be no despicable thoughts of taking advantage of the opportunity to gain weight.

When your wife is having a meal, you cannot forget about your date and status and follow her around. You should sit quietly opposite her, with your back straight and your body slightly tilted. He held his chin with a half-clenched fist and stared at his wife's mouth that kept getting food with affectionate and guilty eyes. Even if your wife doesn't notice your style, you can't make a sound when your wife has a mouth full of milk. After your wife's satisfied burp sounds, you can then sigh slightly, melancholy and apologetically from deep in your throat. Then he looked at his wife's inquiring eyes and said in a hoarse and trembling voice: "Honey, I have really failed you by marrying me in this life. I don't know what to do to make up for it. The only thing I can do is to give you the last month." All my wages and bonuses are dedicated to you as funds for your holiday today..." Then he took out the poor pile of banknotes and placed them affectionately by the dining table.

When your wife is changing her clothes, you should not just say they look good. Instead, you should choose the clothes your wife usually wears the most and praise them. If you don’t pay attention to your wife’s clothes, brother, just choose the more expensive clothes to praise. If you don’t even know which clothes are expensive and which are cheap, I’m sorry, brother, you have to look at every piece of your wife’s clothes carefully, then shake your head apologetically and say: None of them are the most satisfying, so be it, you Take this money and buy some suitable clothes. If you lose your personal money, you can't blame the men's union. Who told you to only look at your MM and not your wife?

The emotion when sending your wife off can be a little exaggerated. You should take the trouble to pull her by your side, kiss, and say something like "I won't be able to see you for a few hours. How can I face loneliness alone?" Ah's whisper. Of course, you have to pay attention to your sense of proportion. If you go too far and your wife is moved and gives up participating in the work's group outing and asks you to accompany her to the streets for shopping, brother, don't complain about the men's association because it takes a lot of energy and money. ah.

Don’t be idle when your wife is gone. Go downstairs to buy roses, go to the market to buy vegetables, and go to the store to buy gifts for your wife. It depends on your financial situation. The men’s association recommends buying a silk scarf. , that stuff is not very expensive, can be given away, and is in season. Never buy fashionable clothes for your wife. If it is expensive, you will be complained. If it is cheap, you will be complained. If it is not expensive or cheap, you will still be complained about the size. Remember, remember!

Don't go to a small restaurant to comfort yourself at noon. After drinking a few ounces of wine, you will forget about the day and your neck will be stiff. Then all your hard work will be wasted when your wife comes back in the evening. You should still be like a little daughter-in-law, sorting out the crumbs left over from your wife in the morning and drinking them with boiled water. Then began to decorate the room and prepare for the candlelight dinner in the evening.

Decorating the room can be based on your wife’s preferences and your own wallet. But no matter how much money you have, there are some things that cannot be omitted, such as red wine, coffee, fruits, and new certificates. Wrapped gifts should be placed in a conspicuous place, otherwise it will be in vain before your wife notices you after today. Around four or five o'clock in the afternoon, I went to the kitchen to cook a pot of soup and wait for her return. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know how to make soup. If you don’t know how to make soup, go to the restaurant and buy a pot of good soup. Simmer it on the stove over low heat, but don’t let the smell of the soup flow into the living room. This will reduce your wife’s surprise and ruin it. Romantic atmosphere in the living room. I believe you will not forget to use an incense burner to smoke your wife’s favorite incense early, so that the fragrance can penetrate into every corner of the room.

Brother, the preparations are not over yet. You have to go into the bathroom again and wash yourself from head to toe. The key parts must be washed thoroughly and there must be no kitchen smell left. Then, I changed into what I thought was the most handsome casual clothes and went to the balcony to see my wife return.

When the door opens, brother, you have to be like an overseas Chinese who has returned from overseas to look for his relatives, jumping into his wife's arms like a little swallow. Of course, if you confirm that your body is so petite. . You can also hug your wife into your arms like a pillow, and then... how to do it, you dare not know!

It should be noted that when your wife is carrying a bag, you must first help her put the bag down, otherwise if she buys some eggs or tofu, it will turn into egg white-wrapped tofu because of your show. If this kind of episode occurs once, your wife's mood will be greatly reduced. Remember this.

During the candlelight dinner, you should do your best to flatter your wife, listen attentively to your wife's stories about the outing, and occasionally say "Wow!" "Yeah!" "Really?" "Oh my god" and other sounds. If your wife talks about the hard work of climbing a mountain, you should immediately put your wife's feet in your arms and massage them, without making any expression that you dislike her smelly feet. Note that the background music will always be a saxophone solo.

After dinner, you sit beside your wife like a little bird and watch her favorite TV series with her. Even if Xiao Yanzi and Cai Guoqing team up to play the love scene of Aunt Qiong Yao, you are not allowed to do it. The idea of ​​grabbing the remote control board. When the commercial is broadcast, you should also remember to feed your wife an orange segment or peel a few melon seeds. Don't be tempted to take the snacks away while looking at your wife's slightly fat belly. If your wife wants to chat with handsome guys online, you must not use the opportunity of serving tea and water to pry. Even if your wife takes the initiative to ask you to watch, you must show your great admiration for her netizens and give her a pat on the shoulder. back.

When your wife goes to bed, you have to let her see the love letter you put next to the pillow. As for how to write the love letter, don’t ask the men’s couple for advice. Anyway, try to add as many disgusting words as possible. When your wife is reading a love letter, don't just laugh along with her. You have to sneak into the kitchen, make a few raw eggs, drink it with beer, march into the bedroom with great pride, and satisfy all your wife's requirements...< /p>

Brothers from the Men’s League, do you know how to celebrate Women’s Day?

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