Children are a book and a mirror for adults "Beijing Reference": Parents always look forward to better relationships with their children during the holidays Communicate properly, for children. Is this feasible? Zhen Zhongke: Children are like a book for adults and can never be finished. Parents should grow up with their children and should not just focus on their expectations for the holidays. It is crucial for a family to have good communication and harmony. An enviable family is not about how much wealth it has. Good material conditions are far from enough. A good psychological environment is important. A good psychological environment is the cradle of a child's mental health and personality, and is also the happiness of a child's life. I'm afraid a book can't finish it. "Beijing Reference": Is it possible to communicate with children frequently?

Zhen Zhongke: As children grow at different ages, their characteristics and needs are different, so the way parents contact their children , the communication language will be different. Communicate based on the children's biological age and psychological age and interests. Some parents think the questions raised by their children are childish and unrealistic. In fact, children cannot distinguish between reality and imagination, ideals and fantasies. Psychological research has found that only 18% of 6-year-old children can distinguish between reality and fantasy; 90% of 9-year-old children can understand whether a story is made up or real; Children as young as 11 years old begin to understand issues of honesty from a new perspective. Children are a mirror of adults. They will reflect the successful side of your education and the failed side of your education. Therefore, parents should pay attention to communication with their children, and communication should be completed invisibly every day. Preschool children mainly cultivate sociability "Beijing Reference": What should we pay attention to when communicating with preschool children? Zhen Zhongke: 0-6 years old For children, their safety needs are primary. Children need the warmth of their parents. At this age, parents mainly take care of their children's daily life and pay attention to their health. If a child has suffered a brain injury, malnutrition and other problems when he was young, it will have an impact on him throughout his life. However, parents are their children's first teachers, so they cannot just stop at these. Before the age of 3 is the golden period for children to form a harmonious psychological attitude and healthy personality. Parents' every word and deed educates their children. For example, parents casually say "Tell them I'm not at home" to visitors or phone calls they don't like even at home, which invisibly teaches their children to lie, but you don't realize this; Another example is when watching TV, do not avoid children in evaluating the content. This is not appropriate. Children should watch children's channels, and parents and children should be different. Before 1 year old (especially 7-9 months), parents need to train their children to crawl. This has a training effect on the child's sensory integration ability. Poor sensory education will affect the child's attention, hyperactivity, and even affect the child's image and create a sense of inferiority. In terms of moral education, children in kindergartens mainly cultivate gregariousness and share the joy of games and food with other children. Today's children are all only children, self-centered, lack of independence and willfulness, but parents often teach their children like this: "If he hits you, you hit him, our children cannot suffer." In fact, the cultivation of cooperative abilities in early childhood is more important than competitive abilities, and will have a great impact on children's future careers. Primary school students mainly cultivate right and wrong "Beijing Reference": When children go to elementary school, what should they pay attention to when communicating? Zhen Zhongke: Justified and justified. , at this time, the first thing parents should care about is their children's learning, but some parents think that this will cause their children's dependence. In fact, China's cultural and educational heritage is very profound. "The most difficult thing is the Chinese square characters." From kindergarten to elementary school, children are relatively unfamiliar with the concept of learning. Therefore, parents need to accompany them when reading and help them stroke by stroke. Do your homework. Moreover, knowledge is not only taught by teachers, but also encourages children to ask classmates and exchange different opinions with children. Several children of the same age group do homework together after school. This kind of group learning is worth promoting. Secondly, you must also care about your child's school situation (relationship with teachers and classmates), and cultivate the child's generous, positive, and happy mood. Don't worry about it. You have to start with yourself. For example, if you lose a piece of rubber or lose your pants, If your butt is scratched, don't chatter about it. Talk to your children more about interesting things that happened in school, and do more things with your children that interest them, such as taking them to visit science and technology exhibitions and watch children's dramas instead of going to the mall to buy clothes or going to the stock market to trade stocks. Business. In terms of moral education, primary school students mainly cultivate right and wrong. Parents should set an example, be patient, and not be confused. For example, if a child accidentally falls, some parents will kick the child and say it is all their fault. This is obviously wrong and will develop in children the habit of trusting others. To cultivate children's sense of right and wrong, children should be taught in a persuasive manner, and should not be treated harshly, nor should they be accommodating. "Beijing Reference": In the process of right and wrong education, some things that parents say are indeed right and reasonable, but the children are not convinced, what should we do? Zhen Zhongke: Just take it orally. Don't force things deep in the child's soul; give permission. Children have questions and different opinions. Some parents make such a mistake - "How many times have I told you, why did you do it again?" After all, children are children, not adults, and it is enough to say something more than once. Besides, adults are not saints, either. You won't be "educated" once and then remembered. "Beijing Reference": Parents may leave primary school students to the elderly during the holidays. What should they pay attention to at this time? Zhen Zhongke: From the overall situation in China, young parents are busy with work and it is of positive significance for the elderly to take care of their children. The old man has some experience in raising children, and he is attentive and patient. However, because of his weakened constitution, he is unable to satisfy the child's active nature and cannot play sports or games with the child. If possible, you should take your children swimming in the summer and ice skating in the winter instead of just sitting at home watching TV and preparing a hearty meal for the children. In terms of supervising children's homework, although the elderly cannot tutor their children, parents can buy some homework for their children to do during the holidays. What worries parents the most is that the old man Bi Shi spoils his children. In fact, whether it is young parents or grandparents, they need to change a concept - that is, frustration education is a vitamin for children's lifelong growth. If children are rational With family members and teachers who loved him, this child had the happiest childhood. Adolescence is mainly about moral education "Beijing Reference": When children are older, what should we pay attention to when communicating in middle school? Zhen Zhongke: When children are young, When you are young, you may regard the words of parents and teachers as edicts, but when you reach adolescence, great changes will occur. For example, children who used to be very obedient suddenly become uncontrollable, and children who used to be very well-behaved often get into fights. This is the second period of rebellion in life, and the stormy period of youth is a troubled time. These changes made the child resist without thinking. The mother asked the child to add some clothes, but the child immediately waved his hand and said, "No! No need!" On the contrary, a friend came in and said, "Put on a coat and go." He immediately obeyed. Walk. Mental health education in adolescence is more important than cultural knowledge education, because at this time, children's psychological growth lags behind their physical development, and their abilities of logic, judgment, endurance of frustration, self-regulation, and self-control are far insufficient. Moreover, at this time Children are more willing to be close to society. Sometimes a momentary impulse will lead to a lifetime of sorrow. For example, middle school student A is sitting by the bridge. At this time, middle school student B walks over. They don’t know each other. A glances at B, and B glances at A and says, "If you are not convinced, follow me." So B follows A in. He walked into an alley, and four boys came out and surrounded B. Seeing that the situation was not good, B casually pulled out a knife, stabbed one of them and ran away. Unfortunately, it hit right at the heart, and the child died later. After investigating the reason, it was because you looked at me and I looked at you. "Beijing Reference": What should I do if my child refuses to talk to his parents? ． Zhen Zhongke: For adolescent children, if parents seriously say "I want to talk to you", that is impossible. Parents should pay extra attention and learn to "communicate on the move". Children at this time like games and travel. They should go out with their children to see nature, and understand what their children are thinking through these dynamic processes. . ． "Beijing Reference": What should we do if adolescent children cannot listen to what their parents say? Zhen Zhongke: In terms of moral education, adolescence is mainly about social ethics and moral education. At this time, parents need to show deeper affection, care, deeper love and care, which is much more complicated than simple condemnation and giving pocket money. It is impossible for parents to follow and stare at their children all day long. Giving children a measure of self-management is moral education. This has a long history in China, such as mother-in-law tattooing, which teaches loyalty to the country. Another very important point is that parents should pay attention to their children's friendship issues. Some parents believe that their children make unscrupulous friends and refuse their children's friends, thinking that this will prevent their children from interacting with delinquent teenagers. In fact, by inviting your child’s friends in, you can observe the child within your own field of vision, and you can learn more about your child’s friends’ family members, specialties and hobbies; you can also learn more about your child’s psychological world and his aesthetics. , even if his bad habits spread, otherwise his eyes will be dark and beyond his reach.

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