How long is the shelf life of a woman's love after marriage?
How far is forever? Why do women worry so much after marriage
A survey specifically for women showed that the number one psychological problem they are most interested in is "worry about whether the marriage will last." According to psychological experts, there are great psychological differences between men and women in intimate relationships. One of them is that women pay more attention to "whether their marriage will last" than men. Why are women so worried about "how far is eternity" in marriage compared to men?
First of all, women’s worries come from the reality of marriage.
According to the 2008 large-scale public opinion survey report on the revision of the Marriage Law of the All-China Women's Federation, 8.2% of the total population in China have extramarital sex, that is, about 100 million people have extramarital sex. Extramarital sex has become a part of marriage. The deadly reef. However, the proportion of extramarital affairs initiated by men is three times that of women. Therefore, it is logical that women are more worried about the future of marriage than men.
Secondly, evolutionary psychology believes that in many species, females invest much more in offspring than males, and the same is true for us humans.
Men invest only a few minutes in the reproduction of their offspring, while women need to be pregnant for ten months, breastfeed the child, and take care of the child for three to five years after birth. Whoever is more committed to a common cause is more loyal, which is why women are more likely to ask "how far is forever?" Similarly, in order to maximize reproductive benefits, men hope to have more opportunities to have contact with the opposite sex, while women prefer a stable marriage relationship as a guarantee for the upbringing of their children and their own safety, which also destined women to have more Focus on the future of your marriage.
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How far is it forever? ? Why do women worry so much after marriage
Finally, research on gender psychology shows that men’s sense of self-worth comes from self-definition and has “instrumental psychological qualities.”
Men pay more attention to career achievements, work ability, high position, salary, etc. Men use career achievements and his abilities to build self-esteem, while marriage and family are only a part of a man's life. Therefore, men generally rarely take the initiative to improve relationships, or end a relationship more easily than women. The source of women's sense of self-worth is the relationship of love, which has "emotional psychological qualities." Therefore, women value intimate relationships more and use love connections to prove their worth. Marriage and family often account for the majority of life. As a result, the vast majority of books on relationships in the world are written by women, and 80% of the people who buy them are also women.
In an intimate relationship, it is easy to be emotional but difficult to be infatuated. It is easy to fall in love but difficult to stay together. As two parties in a marriage, maintaining a harmonious relationship requires the joint efforts of both parties. Both husband and wife must understand each other's personality traits, emotional needs, family of origin, etc., and jointly make deposits into the emotional account. An emotional account is like a real bank account. The more you put in, the more you can withdraw.
In order to make deposits in the emotional account of an intimate relationship, both parties need to learn some relationship maintenance strategies and take corresponding actions and activities. Men want to support, women want to coax, men want to worship, women want to pamper. Men should understand women's desire for relationships and take the initiative to provide satisfaction and commitment. Women should understand men's emotional needs and provide corresponding affirmation and support. Both spouses should act together in a friendly and pleasant manner and try to make their interactions enjoyable; encourage each other to express thoughts and emotions, and discuss the quality and expectations of their relationship; express love and loyalty to each other and emphasize commitment; spend time together. Activities and more. Only in this way can we stay away from the hidden dangers of marriage and create a happy and long-lasting married life.