Men desire virginity, which they believe represents purity and fidelity to love. For women, virginity is the most secret, soft and beautiful pain deep in the soul. Perhaps the concept of "commodity women" is deeply ingrained, and most of the people standing at the forefront of the "moral position" and shouting loudly are men... In fact, this is a matter of women themselves, and it is women who have the most say.

Men's judgment of virginity is only physiological. According to the old almanac, if the wedding night is not red, not only the marriage cannot be maintained, but also the right to survive seems to be in serious doubt. According to Taoists, such a woman has absolutely no shame if she does not seek her own death. Thousands of years of tradition gradually formed the worship of hymen? ? It is the most precious gift a woman can give to her husband. It is precisely because of society's emphasis on the hymen that women desperately want to keep this last line of defense. However, it is the new millennium after all, and women can finally talk about their own problems calmly. Take a look at the following descriptions of the women themselves. Whether they are men or women, should they have a clearer understanding of this topic?

1: The highest state of love must be expressed through sex

I don't take the issue of virginity that seriously. How should I put it? It's my own business. As long as I am responsible for my own actions, no one can blame me. When the love between two people develops to a certain stage, only sex can be used to express it. This may be one of the reasons why people choose to get married.

2: Never have sex before marriage

Even if I love that person again, I will not have sex with him before marriage. If he breaks up with me because of this, I won't regret it. I thought that being a virgin was a guarantee for a long-lasting marriage, and I would be embarrassed if I lost my virginity before marriage. My husband will love me more because I was a virgin when I married him. As for whether the person I marry is the person I love the most, it doesn't matter. As long as I have a stable family, it's enough. Where can there be so many romantic things?

3: Being a virgin will make you feel embarrassed

If a woman was a virgin in her twenties I would feel embarrassed for her. This means that few people love her or that she is a little abnormal. If there is no sexual experience before marriage, various unexpected problems may arise after marriage due to lack of sexual experience. It would be even more ridiculous if a woman in her thirties is still proud of being a virgin. Such a life is too abnormal. It is a woman's right to enjoy sex.

4: It depends on the situation

It is rare for people to fall in love successfully once. It is impossible for a person to love only one person in his life. If the man who received my first love was not my husband, well, it depends. If he doesn't care, that's the best thing, and he can live his life easily. If he cares and I have to marry him, well, sorry, technology is so advanced now, what's the big deal? Don't say I'm despicable, I just do it to satisfy men's needs. Besides, what can I use to prove him?

5: Chastity of the soul is better than chastity of the body

If a woman loses her virginity, people have no right to blame her. Maybe it was an accidental mistake, maybe it was for true love. Purity of soul is the most important thing, men should not be stupid.

A post-80s girl’s view on sex

I think why can't everyone sit down and discuss these issues calmly? Now let me talk about some of my personal views as a post-80s generation.

1. Many people will say that there are no virgins these days. Should you look for a virgin in a kindergarten? I don't know what the people who said this mean? Or some kind of abnormal psychology. Based on the author’s experience in four years of college life, the author cannot say that every girl around him is a virgin, at least 90% of them are. Take the author's department as an example. Basically, it is rare to hear about the phenomenon of cohabitation outside the campus. As far as the class and dormitory where the poster is in, not to mention living together off campus, even the phenomenon of staying out at night has never happened in the four years of university life where the poster lived. Later, after I graduated and started working, I discussed this issue with many female colleagues. Many of my female colleagues expressed doubts about such a statement. Many of my colleagues are from other places, and as far as I know, there are very few people living with friends of the opposite sex. I don’t necessarily want to be more serious with some people, but I am telling some of the realities of life that I have seen and heard. I don't want everyone to live with a blind eye. Therefore, men should not be afraid that they cannot find a virgin, and women should not feel ashamed because they are or are not virgins.

2. Many people (both men and women) would say that the film is that important? I think that membrane is certainly not important. It does not belong to any organ of the human body. It does not participate in any life activity in the human body. Without it, the human blood will still flow, the pulse will still beat, and the human body's metabolism will still proceed normally. . But it reflects a kind of life and attitude towards life, which is what many people value. A person who does not know how to restrain his behavior before marriage will find it difficult to restrain his behavior after marriage.

3. A man values ​​his wife’s virginity. Is this wrong? In fact, such a mentality is very understandable. Many girls will say: Are you a virgin? Why do you ask me to be a virgin? I feel that saying such arrogant words is really meaningless. On the contrary, it will appear very powerless and guilty, because it is impossible for them to change anyone's ideas. The pursuit of perfection is a human instinct, not to mention that love is selfish and sex is also selfish. I hope that the person I love is complete and beautiful. Isn't this kind of psychology the most normal psychology?

4. Is it true that men and women go to hell and virgins go to heaven? I think this statement is also a big mistake. Virgins are not angels, and non-virgins are not devils. I also mentioned just now: that layer of film only reflects a person's attitude towards life and has nothing to do with morality. Even if it does, it is only an indirect relationship. In my opinion, any accusation of wrongdoing is feeble. It is understandable for any adult to have a physical relationship with the person he loves. But a person's attitude towards life directly determines a person's quality of life. There is a saying that goes well: Attitude determines everything. I think a truly mature man would disdain to discuss such issues as "place" and "non-place", but I would like to ask sisters, how many such mature men are there, and how many such mature men we meet? What are the chances? Do those who are mature on the outside really mean they are mature on the inside? Virginity and virginity are really not that important. What is important is that we can find someone who agrees with us ideologically. If a non-virgin finds a man with extremely serious virginity issues, then I think even if the woman loves this man again, then This man will not respond to the same degree; and if a virgin finds a man who is indifferent to whether he is a virgin or not, then I think her virginity means nothing at all.

5. Many young girls will have this hesitation: Do I want to have sex with him? He said: If you love me, you have to give him XX? The poster's BF also made such a request to the poster, but was flatly rejected by LZ. The reason for my rejection of my BF is: I don’t want you to be a father without any preparation? This is irresponsible to me and it is not responsible to you either. To be honest, I love my BF very much. He is my first love. I can cook, wash and clean the room for him. When he is sick, I am more anxious than anyone else. I urge him to see a doctor and take medicine. I can do all these things for him, but this is the only thing. Because I am not very sure about our future (this has nothing to do with love), I also deeply hate abortion, which is extremely harmful to a girl’s body, and I am also very skeptical about any contraceptive measures. , so I cannot put myself in such an extremely embarrassing situation as "pregnant out of wedlock". More importantly, I hope that my BF will marry me because he finds that I am truly a partner that he can spend his whole life with, someone who can share the joys and joys of life with him. Rather than being responsible for me because I have his baby in my belly. Because I know that no one in this world can be responsible for me, not my BF, not my future husband, not even my parents, the only one who can be responsible for myself is myself. And I hope that my own marriage is based on true love. I hope that I find someone who has a congenial personality and similar interests, who can agree with me mentally and share my life with me, not because of me. With whose child I have, I hope I can have a happy married life, and I hope I can have a high-quality life. My understanding of marriage is: love - marriage - love (responsibility). After I rejected my boyfriend's request, there was no rift in our relationship and he respected my choice very much.

6. What are the consequences of premarital sex and cohabitation before marriage? I remember a famous Western military proverb: If a nail is dropped, a horseshoe is broken; if a horseshoe is broken, a war horse is destroyed; if a war horse is destroyed, a battle is lost; a battle is lost. A battle that destroyed a kingdom. Although this is describing a war, I think it is not a bad idea to use it as a metaphor for life. Our lives are made up of several details. If there is a problem with any detail, it is actually not a big problem as long as you have the ability to make up for it. However, many times the person who creates the problem is often the person least capable of solving it.

The example of a male friend of mine in real life illustrates this problem very well: This friend of mine, who is not very old, insisted on being with a girl despite his parents’ objections. As a result, the girl got pregnant and forced him to get married. After getting married, he increasingly realized that the union between him and his wife was a huge mistake. As a result, when the child was about a few months old, he fell in love with another girl. The girl didn't know that he was married. Later, after the girl got involved, he told everything. The girl wanted him to get a divorce. Later, his wife was very angry when she found out all this, but what happened later made him have an epiphany of conscience and he decided to leave the girl. However, my male friend has been living in pain since then. Of course, this kind of pain is difficult for outsiders to see, but I can feel it when he tells me all this.