A relationship teacher offers five golden rules for evaluating what makes a successful long-term marriage. When it comes to choosing a lifelong partner, absolutely no one has to make the wrong choice, but when the divorce rate is as high as 50 percent, you know that many people are making serious mistakes in choosing his or her partner. If you're serious about finding and having a lifelong partner, here are five questions to ask yourself.

Question 1: Do we have a common goal in life?

People spend a long time in marriage. How do you plan to spend this time? Eat or run together? You must share something deeper and more meaningful with him or her, and you must have a common goal in life.

Two things can happen in a marriage: you can grow together, or you can grow separately. Fifty percent of people grow up separately. To make a marriage successful, you must know what you want in terms of the bottom line in life, and then marry (or marry) someone who is the same as you.

Question 2: Do you feel safe when sharing your feelings and thoughts with him/her?

This question is related to the quality of your relationship. "Feeling safe" means that you can communicate openly and honestly with this person. The foundation of good communication is trust. Be honest with yourself! Make sure you marry the person you feel emotionally safe with.

Question 3: Is he (she) a special person worthy of admiration?

The meaning of this question is: Is he (she) a noble and sensitive person? How do you test him or her?

Here are some suggestions: Does he or she use general foundations as a method of personal growth? Is he/she serious about improving himself/herself? Someone defined a good person as someone who always strives to do the right thing. So ask your significant other: How does he/she use his/her time?

Basically there are two types of people in this world: those who are committed to personal growth and those who seek a comfortable life. The kind of person who has a comfortable life as his goal will put personal enjoyment first. You need to know this before walking down the aisle with him or her.

Question 4: How does he (she) treat other people?

The most important thing that fosters relationships is the ability to give. The so-called giving is the ability to make others happy. See if this person enjoys giving? What is his attitude toward those with whom he has nothing to do? For example: waiter, bus driver, etc. How does he treat his parents and siblings? Does he know how to be grateful? If he's not grateful to the person who gave him everything, don't expect him to be grateful to you. Does he gossip and speak ill of others? A person who gossips does not know how to love. You can be sure that if he is not good to others, he will not be good to you either.

Question 5: Do you hope to change this person after marriage?

Too many people make the mistake of hoping to "change" their spouse after marriage. You may want someone to change after marriage... maybe for the worse, and if you can't fully accept him or her for who they are, you're not ready for marriage. In summary, during the love stage, you should use your head more and less your heart.

Did you keep your eyes open when you got married?

We cannot force marriage to be the purest crystallization of love. However, when faced with such a major choice in life, a single mistake may make you regret it for life. Therefore, men and women must keep their eyes open and master the golden rule when choosing a partner. , don’t make mistakes!

The first wrong reason for getting married is to get married for the sake of getting married.

This is obviously the stupidest mistake.

The second wrong reason for getting married - to escape from the family.

This is a common mistake girls make. In order to escape from an unhappy home, or to escape control and yearn for freedom, girls often resort to marriage to achieve their goals. In fact, this is simply an illusory false independence.

The third wrong reason for getting married is to follow the orders of your children.

You will be surprised that even though contraception is so convenient, old stories like this still happen very frequently. Although the new era version is slightly different, when a woman coerces a man into marriage, although she expresses her courage to be an unwed mother, it is still old wine in a new bottle. I'm afraid that if I try to capture other people's hearts, I will also be captured.

The fourth wrong reason for getting married is to disobey your parents.

Whether parents think their children are too young or think their children have chosen an inappropriate lover, this may cause strong rebellious psychology. Particularly those with rebellious personalities will often resist for the sake of resisting. However, I would like to remind you that this may be the most dangerous and worst time to rebel against your parents.

The fifth wrong reason for getting married - to marry a rich man.

Who can say that a woman can’t find a golden mountain to rely on? Everything is focused on money. Even if you seek wealth and get wealth, you may not be satisfied in other aspects.

The sixth wrong reason for getting married—just because he is a handsome guy.

Everyone loves handsome men and beautiful women, and the power of beauty is invincible. It's just that except for beauty, if other necessary conditions are missing, it will become a big tragedy. Moreover, don't forget that the depreciation rate of appearance is very high.

The seventh wrong reason for getting married—for desire.

Believe it or not, men are more likely to fall victim to desire. Men often marry women who are not the ones they love most, but who use their desires to control them.

The eighth wrong reason for getting married—because I am lonely.

Modern people are afraid of nothing but loneliness. Men and women are entangled with each other because of loneliness. I would rather quarrel and kill than be alone.

The ninth wrong reason for getting married—seeking a sense of security.

No one can give you a sense of security except yourself. Think about it, the shoulder that was originally willing to lean on you is no longer willing, what can you do?

The tenth wrong reason to get married - to get rid of being single.

Many women still do not believe that late marriage or no marriage can be a mature choice. Factors such as the urging of the biological clock, social pressure, and fear of being an advanced mother will make people get married in order to break the single situation. The most ridiculous thing is that one woman told me that even if she gets divorced after a week of marriage, she still has to get married once.

The eleventh wrong reason for getting married—wanting to be a bride.

Isn’t that too exaggerated? However, there are indeed many such ridiculous women who regard marriage as a show. Putting on makeup, taking photos, and entertaining guests, it’s not only fun, but it also fulfills the bride’s dream. Little do they know that many people only become princesses for one day.

The twelfth wrong reason for getting married—you must get married if you are in love.

In fact, love does not necessarily require marriage. Modern people have many opportunities to fall in love in their lives. Like a string of beads, each one has its own perfection and elegance.

The thirteenth wrong reason for getting married—because of age.

True love will not determine your happiness because of your age. If you don't choose a partner who can make you compatible in all aspects of life, personality, and soul because of your age, won't you fall into the grave of true love again? You have to live this boring life every day. That's just living in prison, which is the most common mistake girls make.

Choosing a lifelong partner cannot be based solely on love. This may not sound right but there is a profound truth in it. Love is not the only basis for marriage, but it is the result of a good marriage: you cannot build a lifelong relationship with love alone, you need more.

This article comes from adult.6kmall.com and is published by netizens. This site only quotes it for reference. It does not mean that this site agrees with the views of the article. If you believe that the content and intellectual property rights of this article infringe upon your interests, please contact us.