Because it was the first Spring Festival that the two of them welcomed together after their marriage, the young couple began to think about "how to celebrate the Spring Festival this year" early, and their parents also called them early to test their New Year arrangements. Of course, the smart Lin Li knew that what her parents meant was that they wanted her to go home with her husband to celebrate the New Year. But that was the problem. Lin Li and her husband were both only children, and her husband lived far away. Anhui, my parents are in the Northeast, which means that no matter whose home I go to, the other family will have the "bleak" situation of "two white-haired old people reunited on New Year's Eve and spent the long Spring Festival holiday alone" "Situation.

Lin Li and her husband have been worried about this for a long time...and this is not only Lin Li's trouble, but also the "trouble" of many young couples today, especially those with only children.

The problem of “only-child couples” becomes more and more serious as to whose home they should go to celebrate the New Year.

Since 1979, the Chinese government began to implement the family planning policy of “a couple only has one child”. So far, there are about 100 million only children in our country.

Nowadays, the first batch of only children have grown up and entered the stage of marriage and childbirth, and the generation of parents of only children are also entering old age. Experts predict that in the next 10 years, there will be at least tens of millions of "only-child couple" families in my country, including only children and only children, and only children and non-only children, and will become the mainstream of social family models.

At the same time, our country has now entered the ranks of countries with an elderly age structure. The elderly population over 60 years old has reached 134 million, accounting for 10.2% of the total population, and is growing rapidly at an annual rate of 3%.

With the increasing number of only-child families and the entry of an aging society, the "421" model, in which a couple supports four elderly people and has one child, will become more and more common. "This has changed our country's family structure and has also had an impact on Chinese traditional customs.

As the Spring Festival is approaching, the topic of whether to go back to your mother-in-law’s house or to celebrate the New Year has become a hot topic in various media. It seems that "whose house should I go to during the Spring Festival?" has become a social issue that cannot be avoided by Chinese people who value reunion during the Chinese New Year.

Various forms of returning home during the Spring Festival

On-the-go type: Zhao Ping traveled both ways during the Spring Festival holidays of the two years she was married. She hurried to her husband’s house on New Year’s Eve and rushed to her husband’s house on New Year’s Day. Then she took an overnight train to her parents’ house. “It was said to be a holiday, but in fact I felt more tired than working. After returning to Beijing, I had to rest for a long time to regain my strength.” During the interview, Zhao Ping complained to the reporter: “There is nothing I can do because my husband’s family is in the countryside. I am very particular about "Old Li'er". I must spend New Year's Eve at my husband's house before my daughter-in-law can go back to her parents' house."

"Taking turns: Ahe, who was interviewed by the reporter, was preparing to send New Year's gifts to his parents-in-law. go. Because he was worried about conflicts between the couple, Ahe and her husband agreed at the beginning of their marriage that they would take turns returning to their parents’ homes every Spring Festival after marriage. Because last year’s Spring Festival, Ahe spent the Spring Festival with her husband at her husband’s house. “According to the agreement, This year my husband will go home with me to celebrate the New Year. Although I can’t go back to my husband’s house, I still have to send gifts. It’s not easy for parents. ”

Separation type: Xiao Li has been married for 4 years. , I have just agreed with my wife that during this year’s Spring Festival, both husband and wife will go back to their hometowns to spend the New Year with their parents. The Spring Festival has become a "separation" day for the couple. Mr. Li said that this is also a helpless move. "I am usually busy with work and rarely go home to see my parents. Now that my parents are getting older, they look forward to these two days of the year for our children to come home and reunite. My wife and I are the only children in the family. In order to prevent the elderly on both sides from feeling lonely, we All we have to do is go back to our own homes.”

Integrated type: Lin Li and her husband were embarrassed for the first time because of the problem of returning home during the New Year. The couple finally agreed on a solution that everyone was happy with - "No one is home." When I get back, I will bring my parents to Beijing so that the six of us can have a real reunion." Now, Lin Li has booked a New Year's Eve dinner at the hotel and is waiting for her parents from far away to come to Beijing to celebrate the New Year. "In this way, neither parent will be picky, and spending six people together is also a good opportunity for the elderly on both sides to connect with each other."

The voices of two generations of parents and children

“I was particularly impressed by an advertisement on CCTV. In the advertisement, an old mother prepared a sumptuous meal for her children to come home. But my children called me one after another to say that they would not come back for dinner because of something else. In the big house, only the old man and a table of food were left, and I felt very sad when I saw the advertisement. My son and daughter-in-law work in Shanghai. "There is an old saying in China that 'parents never travel far', but now children have their own ideas and want to develop in other places, even abroad. Parents understand and support it. See As parents, we feel uncomfortable watching the children travel between the two families, worrying about whose home to celebrate the New Year. "But maybe it's because we are getting older, and we are particularly afraid of being alone. In the past, there were many children in the house, and the eldest son would not come back. As for the second child, he has a child now. If he doesn't come back, we will be alone in the house, and it will seem very deserted." Aunt Zhang's words were somewhat helpless.

“We also know that our parents expect us to return home for the New Year, but there are indeed many practical problems, such as time and money.” “Moreover, train tickets for the Spring Festival are difficult to buy and expensive, and people on the train "Every time I go back to my hometown, it's very tiring." "Because we are very busy at work, what we want to do most during the holidays is to rest at home, but that would be too 'poor' for the elderly, and we are also very conflicted. "Nowadays, equality between men and women is emphasized. It is unreasonable to tell the daughter-in-law that she must go back to the husband's house to celebrate the New Year. She is also a precious daughter. If both husband and wife only care about their own family, they may have conflicts. The key is negotiation and balance. , try to satisfy both parties, hey, it’s quite tiring,” young Xiao Li told reporters during the interview.

It seems that parents have parental considerations, and children also have their own ideas and difficulties.

Experts explain that having a colorful New Year does not necessarily mean going home to eat

“On the 23rd, send the stove king, on the 24th, come clean the house, on the 25th, paste the windows, and on the 26th, make a stew. Big meat, twenty-seven to kill the rooster, twenty-eight handfuls of noodles, twenty-nine to post Spring Festival couplets, and eat dumplings on New Year’s Eve..." During the interview, many parents and elders mentioned this nursery rhyme to the reporter, and it was deeply rooted in their hearts. I still miss the once lively Chinese New Year.

Qiao Xiaoguang, director of the Intangible Cultural Heritage Research Center of the Central Academy of Fine Arts, said in an interview with reporters: "The Spring Festival is not a simple entertainment day of eating, drinking, and playing games. The traditional Spring Festival is a complete cultural ecology. It is a time-specific cultural space activity that involves all aspects of human nature such as beliefs, ethics, emotions, and cultural methods. It is completed by the widespread participation of the public. The New Year's Eve ceremony emphasizes a process. The centralized display of cultural traditions is also the carrier for the continuation of festival culture. While people enjoy the festival culture, they are also performing and creating their own festival culture. ”

Feng Jicai, vice chairman of the China Federation of Literary and Art Circles and famous writer, once told the media that the Chinese New Year, China’s most important folk festival, contains many spiritual connotations. “Sublation does not mean giving up.” The inheritance of the Chinese national cultural spirit requires modern people to Dig and expand. Don't worry, as the Spring Festival is a traditional festival of the Chinese nation, it is the main theme of the festival at all times. The change is just a change in the way. The traditional festival has not been lost. We also have an inclusive attitude towards the Spring Festival. The New Year is a form of festival that allows people to have more choices. If we blindly accuse people of downplaying the Spring Festival, it is unrealistic and unwise.

When the reporter interviewed Zhang Yiwu, a literary critic and professor of the Chinese Department of Peking University, he also told the reporter that there should be many ways to celebrate the New Year, and it does not have to be limited to the only form of family reunion. Modern society is impacted by globalization, coupled with objective realities, such as children working abroad or unable to go home due to work needs, it is a good idea to use modern technological means, such as communicating through video phones. To compensate, we cannot force everyone to go home during the New Year. He suggested that young couples should communicate more with their parents on the basis of mutual understanding and respect, do a good job in ideological work with both parents, and find solutions that suit their families. At the same time, as parents, we should also think more about our children, be more tolerant, and be more open-minded.

Sociologist, Professor Xia Xueluan of Peking University, introduced to reporters the “New Year Plan” of Baibuting Community in Wuhan: When the Spring Festival comes, every household in Baibuting Community will cook a specialty dish. They gather together, have a feast, and have fun. They call the New Year's Eve dinner "a banquet for hundreds of families" and "a banquet for thousands of families." Professor Xia said that family ties are not the only bond during the Spring Festival, there are also friendships and favors... If the children are not at home, neighbors and friends can gather together to have a lively New Year.

“Today, while educating children to be filial to the elderly, modern society should give play to the strong integration function of the community. ‘Active elderly care’ has been strongly advocated in some cities. So, during the New Year, of course it should and can By creating a richer form, the year of reunion without children can still be enjoyable," said Xia Xueluan.

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