One-night stand

According to Freud's psychoanalytic theory, the desire for "one-night stand" originates from the call of the "id" and is the expression of human nature. Freud once pointed out in "The Future of an Illusion" that "man is an imbecile creature dominated by instinctive desires." Therefore, it is natural for people to desire "one-night stand". According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, sex is the satisfaction of human primitive needs, which exists at any time and without choice; while love is a high-level spiritual pursuit of human beings, which occurs under specific circumstances and is also there are choices. Maslow once said: "An important aspect that distinguishes humans from animals is that they have self-control." Therefore, heartbeat does not equal action. Under most conditions, people can restrain the impulsive desire for "one-night stand".

The desire for "one-night stand" is human nature

"One-night stand" generally refers to the situation between a man and a woman in a specific situation due to temporary feelings, impulses, love or the need to relieve loneliness. sexual behavior. American sociologist John defines "one-night stand" as: sexual behavior based on human animal sexual attraction. It ignores the norms that lovers should abide by when getting along, such as character, quality, cultivation, etc. The essential difference between "one-night stand" and prostitution is that the former is for the satisfaction of the sexual and psychological desires of both men and women, while the latter is for the satisfaction of one party's sexual desires. It is essentially a money transaction.

There are four types of “one-night stands”

"One-night stand" can be roughly divided into four types based on different psychological motivations.

Sex-induced one-night stand: Out of sexual instinct, one has a great fondness for a person of the opposite sex and desires intimate contact. The behavior is characterized by actively seducing the other party, waiting for the other party to respond positively, and expecting continued intimate contact.

Confused one-night stand: due to anxiety, great discomfort with a specific environment, feeling very confused, and longing for the comfort and warmth of the opposite sex. The behavior is half-satisfied and half-satisfied, eager to obtain the satisfaction of sensory stimulation to fill the inner emptiness.

Revenge-type one-night stand: Out of emotional injury, you have great resentment towards the person you love (have), and hope to make up for your spiritual pain through sexual intercourse with others. The behavior is characterized by actively seducing someone of the opposite sex that one likes, expecting the other party to respond positively, but not necessarily expecting continued intimate contact.

Suggestive one-night stand: derived from situational suggestion, with great curiosity and expectation for sexual suggestion in a specific situation, and eager to try it. The behavior is half-prompt, and the "one-night stand" is pursued as a fashionable, popular or submissive behavior.

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One-night stand

"One-night stand": from the "high-end" of the niche to the "low-end" of the public

According to relevant psychological and sociological research, among the above four types, the sexual temptation type accounts for about 60%, the revenge type accounts for about 20%, and the confusing type and the suggestive type each account for about 15%. In terms of education level ratio, sociologist Li Yinhe once said that "one-night stand" should be a common phenomenon in industrial society and urban society. Indeed, a "one-night stand" without the constraints of love and marriage, as long as it is consensual, does not harm others, and does not affect society, cannot be considered a violation of ethics; however, a "one-night stand" with the constraints of love and marriage will have other consequences for love and marriage. Varying degrees of harm caused by one party will bring serious consequences to the family and even society.

Xia Xueluan, a professor of sociology at Peking University, pointed out that "one-night stands" are more common among people with higher academic qualifications because it is mainly spread online. At the same time, the more highly educated people are, the more they can rationalize their behavior and gain more Psychological balance. Zhu Jianjun, a psychologist at Beijing Forestry University, also pointed out that judging from the people he interacts with, most of the people who have "one-night stands" are white-collar workers. The reason is that these people get married late, and some are even afraid of getting married, but they need sex, so they look for sexual partners. In addition, there are some people who choose the free way because their lives have changed greatly. They are in Beijing today and Shanghai tomorrow and cannot establish a stable marriage.

The myth of "one-night stand": it temporarily relieves anxiety and depression, but it cannot solve many personal crises

"One-night stand" can only temporarily relieve some anxiety and depression, but it cannot permanently be alleviated. In other words, while "one-night stand" satisfies a person's physical desires, it also deceives a person's soul. Therefore, the idea that a man and a woman will develop feelings and even get married after a one-night stand is mostly self-deception.

French sexologist Alain Escher pointed out that men’s desire is more affected by body chemistry and needs to be vented at the right time, while women’s desire is more affected by the brain and needs to be fully paved. Therefore, what men seek in a "one-night stand" is excitement and freshness, while women seek affection and hope. In other words, when men try "one-night stands", most of their endings are a dot, with sex as the starting point and end point; while when women try "one-night stands," their endings are mostly like a triangle, with sex, love, and self-protection each on one side.

Gray, a famous American marriage counselor, has a view that "men dig holes and women dig wells." That is to say, when a man encounters a setback, the first thing he thinks of is to escape, just like hiding in a hole, and then slowly recovers; when a woman encounters a setback, the first thing she thinks of is asking for help, like sinking at the bottom of a well. Waiting for rescue, eager to get understanding and comfort from others. Therefore, the purpose of "one-night stand" is often not the sex itself, but to relieve tense emotions. In fact, physiological research also shows that when people are in a stressful situation, sex hormones will be activated and sexual desire will also increase. I'm afraid only the conscience of both men and women knows best what a "one-night stand" will bring to the parties concerned. Please think twice whether you should take a step forward!