Five major signs that your husband is cheating on you. How to solve the problem of your husband’s cheating?
Men are love-minded animals, so it is almost impossible for a man to stay with you obediently for a lifetime, unless there is something really special about you. When a man has a new love outside, before he considers whether to completely break up with you, he will definitely adopt a concealment policy and keep it secret for as long as he can. However, no matter how good your acting skills are, you can't hide the fact, so if you are smart enough, you will definitely be able to detect his strangeness. Only in this way can you achieve early detection and "treatment", and if "treatment" fails, get rid of it as soon as possible!
1. Suddenly busy
He who only occasionally works overtime on weekdays suddenly seems to be extremely busy recently. When you ask him to eat and he says he has a meeting, when you ask him to go shopping he says he works overtime, when you ask him to chat he says socializing, then you have to be careful. Busy man, if you are not completely sure that he is going to make money for you, then you might as well carefully analyze the reasons for avoiding you. In fact, as long as you sort through it a little, you will know that something has happened.
2. Dare not say the words of promise
When a man is devoted to you, it is easy to say what he promises, not necessarily because he will definitely fulfill it, but because there is no burden of deception. But when he has another woman and wants to hide it from you, he will definitely not have the heart to say words of promise anymore, because he is too lazy to tell you.
3. Suddenly like to dress up
Men are generally lazy. You can think back to the time when he first pursued you and compare his status after a stable relationship, and you will find a clear gap. Therefore, when he pays attention to his appearance again, he always wants to make sure that he is handsome enough. By the time, maybe another goal for him to pursue has taken your place.
4. I have no sexual interest in you
I used to always pester you to kiss me, but now I don’t touch you even once a month. Every time I try to avoid you, I say I’m too stressed and my body is too tired. This may be your warning light turning on again. They say women think with their brains. Men think with their bodies. Although it is a joke, it is true. If a man has no "sexual interest" in you, that means he has no interest in you at all. In addition to cheating, you can also consider getting sick. It depends on which one you are willing to accept. .
5. Not enough money
Men always complain about the small amount of pocket money given by women, but it is actually easy to identify the small amount of money given to cheating. The man’s own lack of money is just to buy a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of wine, and go out with his buddies to have fun. Compared with raising a woman, the gap is still It’s very big, so in this signal women should pay attention to the amount of money they don’t have enough to spend, exactly how much it is! If it’s not even close to what you spend on maintenance and clothing every month, then you’ve met your match.
How should a wife deal with her husband having an affair? For specific strategies, let’s take a look at the four steps to solve the problem of your husband’s affair.
1. Recognize the vicious circle pattern of marital conflict
1. The root cause of marital conflict lies in the imbalance of the relationship between spouses. One party is particularly concerned about the marriage relationship, while the other party is more independent and conceited.
2. When the marital relationship begins to deteriorate, the partner who cares most about it becomes panicked and makes two inappropriate reactions:
a) "Soft Love" methods such as self-blame, compromise, begging for mercy, issuing suicide threats or even attempting suicide;
b) Slander, cry violently, fight, make things known to everyone, and ruin the reputation of the other party.
3. These two inappropriate methods may not seem to end the marriage immediately, but without exception, they further deteriorate the marital relationship and provide conditions for worse events to follow.
2. Two core principles for handling marital conflicts
1. Love must be self-respecting.
Marital disharmony almost always begins with contempt. Sometimes we actively create the conditions for our spouse to despise us, and sometimes our spouse intentionally despises us. If this kind of contempt is allowed to develop, marital conflict is bound to arise. Therefore, the marital relationship must be maintained with calm dignity, confidence and courtesy.
2. Love must be free.
Normally, the reason our spouse wants to escape is because we are holding on to him too tightly. In order to keep the relationship romantic after marriage, it is very necessary to give the other party and yourself a certain independent space. Only in this way can you keep your spouse curious about you forever. People who seem to have lost interest in their spouse will become curious to see what their spouse is doing when they see that their spouse is no longer pestering them, and passion is born.
3. Indulgence will not bring good results, you must have the courage to confront
1. When your spouse is unfaithful for the first time, you must confront him bravely and fight with him instead of taking chances and hoping that he will correct himself, which will usually only make him slip further and further down the road.
2. Unmask his "loyalty" mask. If others know about it during the unmasking process, it doesn't matter, because the fault is his. But remember, don’t deliberately expand.
3. Let him make a choice, you or a third party. You cannot allow him to want both you and a third party. This is a situation that many men fall in love with, don't satisfy him.
4. Please remember that for those who engage in sexual abuse, their happiness does not lie in their sexual abuse, but in the most stable intimate relationship. Their degree of dependence on this relationship is beyond your imagination. If you are this person, then have the courage to confront him, and he will find that you are the most important.
5. During the war, never accept your love rival. Perhaps your love rival also has something worthy of your sympathy, but this sympathy should be reserved for after the war is over.
6. If he is still dating a third party, don't have sex with him.
7. He was wrong, so when dealing with this triangle relationship, don’t let him be the leader.
4. Lies often told by unfaithful spouses
1. He will tell you that he doesn’t want to get married at all.
2. He never loved you in the first place.
3. Divorce is a kind choice.
4. If you didn’t have so many problems, he wouldn’t go to someone else.
5. He broke up with you for your own good.
6. He broke up with you for the sake of his children.
7. Others think we should get divorced.
Don’t think that it’s just your unfaithful spouse who says this. These sentences are actually lies that all unfaithful spouses like to tell. Their purpose is to try to make you believe that it is your fault that he is unfaithful, and also to To reduce his own guilt and responsibility, don't let them control you and seriously think that it's your fault that he's been unfaithful.
7 things women understand after a man cheats
There is a saying that "marriage is the tomb of love", but many people want to jump into this tomb. In married life, there are always many times when a woman loses herself and eventually loses her marriage. Let’s take a look at the things that women will realize when their husbands cheat:
1. It is not a good thing for a woman to be too family-oriented. A home belongs to two people and should be run together
The premise is that everything is done for him and the children. Over time, all the responsibilities of the family fall on one person. He felt that everything was normal this way. If one day you want to ask him to do something for you and your family, it will arouse his resentment.
[The correct approach] is to share the family responsibilities, gradually give the focus to the man, and just assist yourself. Don't use any force, and you will end up exhausted and unhappy. He also has to share part of the housework, otherwise he would really think that housework is not tiring.
2. The husband and wife should take care of the children together. The practice of single mothers in marriage is not advisable
Most mothers always take care of their children's food, clothing, housing, transportation and study, specializing in tutoring and so on. Fathers spend a lot of time in boredom by pretending to be working and socializing every day. They also think that no one at home cares about them, so they go out to look for them. warmth.
[Correct approach] Don’t forget that he is the father of the child. It is only natural that he should do something for the child. It is better for him to spend more time with the child than with other women.
3. You must be healthy and beautiful
Your body is your capital, you must take good care of it. In his words, "Take care of yourself. If you get sick, I won't care about you." When I first heard this, I was very angry. Later, when I thought it made sense, I didn't even think about it. If you love yourself, how can others love you?
4. To control the economic power, precaution is indispensable
In the past, I always heard him say that his salary was not enough for him, but in the end, he didn't want any of it. In the end, he simply realized that he didn't have to support his children, he couldn't use it if the family was in crisis, and he didn't have to pay back the money borrowed from the family. And his money is just enough to please his mistress.
[Correct approach] No matter how little money a man has, he still has to use it together. Although what he gives is less than what he takes away, there must be a known destination. Otherwise, if a woman works hard to save money to support her family, other women over there will help you spend it all. In addition, we must take precautions in the financial aspect. We must always have private money.
5. Don’t pay too much attention to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
It is an old saying that mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are natural enemies.
[Correct approach] If you don’t get along, forget it. Let your parents-in-law play whatever they want without having to accept or respond. Because you will find that things will be in trouble as soon as you take over the tricks, just like a person can't sing a play. If you ignore their tricks, they will feel that they are tasteless, and there will be nothing to worry about.
6. It doesn’t matter if you don’t work, but you must have your own financial resources
It doesn't matter whether you have a formal job or not. Of course, having a stable job is the safest thing. If not, you have to learn to make some investments or something. Anyway, you have to be able to support yourself.
[Correct approach] Make investments to continue to protect your independent life, prepare for work, pay attention to possible investment opportunities at any time, and prepare for changes that may occur at any time.
7. Be invisible to his various behaviors
Out of sight, out of mind. Even if he sees it, he can't change it. What's more, it makes him proud: Look at how good a man I am. Women at home and outside are fighting for it. It is better to please yourself than to please him. As for him, just do whatever he likes. Of course, the consequences must be explained clearly to him first. Don't say we are unjust then.
[Correct approach] Do whatever you need to do. If you don’t take him seriously, you will have your own self. Don’t forget Sister Lin’s sharp words in Dream of Red Mansions: Either the east wind overwhelms the west wind, or the west wind overwhelms the east wind. Only when you are no longer willing to be oppressed can you be the master.