The sexual coordination between husband and wife is like two people investing in a business together. The most important factor in the success of a transaction is whether what both parties invest is basically consistent with what they get. No one wants to always suffer in a cooperative relationship, nor can they tolerate the other party always taking advantage for a long time. Therefore, balancing skills are needed in bed, and no seesaw is needed. But many couples actually don't understand such a simple truth.

The following are five common problems that normal couples have when seeking sexual therapy:

“Normal couples” refer to couples who do not have any functional or organic disorders or addictions and sexual behavior bias and other phenomena.

Inconsistent sexual needs

The husband blames the wife for being sexually apathetic, and the wife blames the husband for having an overactive sexual desire. This is a very common complaint. But in fact, the opposite situation sometimes occurs. It's just that suppressing sexual desire is often a woman's specialty. It may be easier to talk about it by shifting the question to whether her husband loves her or not.

No matter who has more sexual desire or less, the first rule is to avoid humiliating and criticizing each other.

For the person with more sexual desire: If you make him uncomfortable in order to satisfy your needs, you who love him will probably not be willing to do so. Don’t forget, only endless aftertaste experiences will make people look forward to the next time, so when he is not interested, don’t forget that masturbation can also have another kind of enjoyment

For the party with low sexual desire: Don’t Find some weird excuses to prevaricate the other person. You have to tell him clearly that you are not interested today, but please give the other person a possible date to avoid giving the other person a sense of despair that will be elusive once he refuses. At the same time, invite the other person to do something you like during this period of low sexual desire, such as massage, caressing, etc., to help you ignite your sexual desire. Don’t forget that sex is also one of the ways to enhance intimacy

Sex life is tired

If you have been married for 10 years and have been in the same standard, no one will be interested. The "formula for sexual release" complains about the husband's poor skills and only cares about his own ejaculation; the "formula for coping" can't stand the wife who sticks to the old rules and doesn't want to try new things. There is no need to envy others for their inseparable bond, just try to open yourself up to each other, and new sparks can be created

To the boring wife: It is better to ask for yourself than to ask for others. If you think he is formulaic, it is better to introduce new tricks yourself! Take a proactive role from Guided by the environment layout, atmosphere control, seduction, and foreplay, you can add new ideas to your sexual life, and few men will be dissatisfied

For helpless husbands: If your wife does not cooperate, it will be difficult for you to force her. Don't be discouraged. Buy a few more copies of "The First Experience of Love" and discuss them together to add new ideas to her. If she is completely unable to communicate, it probably means that she has some myths in her mind that need to be clarified, and she can seek expert consultation.

Reminder: Never find some pornographic films for her to study, or buy a bunch of sex toys for her to use. When you don't know why she resists new techniques, rashly asking her to make too many changes in her sexual performance may cause the opposite effect.

Lack of sexual participation

Do everything you need to do, but unfortunately your heart is still focused on anything outside the room, not in sex; the worst person While watching TV, ordinary people turn over to sleep, get up to take a shower, or go back to the computer desk to hug the computer after finishing their work, which makes their passionate partner seem to be performing a one-man show and being poured cold water on them again.

For those who are absent-minded: Ask yourself what is the reason that hinders you from forgetting to enjoy sex: if it is related to your partner, you should discuss it with him sincerely; if it has nothing to do with your partner, you should try to let him understand, so as not to let the other party It’s so frustrating that I feel so frustrated. Please understand that to make sex more than just sex, it is important that you fully participate in the moment of lovemaking, because participation is the most natural and beautiful aphrodisiac

To the poor soloist: Don't get angry yet, don't rush to accuse. When this happens, stop and gently ask him why he can't enjoy the moment. Sincere communication is more important than finishing the work. You should express your hopes appropriately and specifically. Don't just say "you don't care about me!" I feel so connected!” Sometimes the person just needs a reminder and encouragement to express his or her hopes. Having the needs of both people taken care of is a way to increase intimacy and feel loved.

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There is no intimacy in the heart and lack of romantic ability

People in the new era have a more open and natural sexual concept , you should be able to enjoy sexual intimacy. However, due to high work pressure, little time to get together, limited relaxing time, and not much love interaction, depressed modern people who are trapped by work, life, responsibilities, and pressure have to enjoy the intimacy that is rare a few times a year in resorts. ,romantic.

For those who have such a problem, do you realize that if the time and quality of getting together are not adjusted and improved, it will gradually affect your relationship? In fact, it does not take a lot of time and effort to maintain intimacy. If there is a consensus and a desire to increase mutual emotional intimacy, there is a possibility of improvement. I hope the following two methods will be helpful to you

Set a daily intimate time: You can find the most suitable daily intimate time according to your work and rest conditions, from 10 minutes to 1 hour. During this time, please put aside everything on your mind and focus on your partner in front of you. Two people spend an equal amount of time on average doing things they both like, such as: giving each other massages, sharing today's mood, praising and encouraging each other, or praying together, reading the Bible, doing each other's body stretches, taking a bath together... Find out what you two are doing Creative ideas will be better

It is best not to watch TV, and do not use this time to complain about things. The principle should be that both of you are happy. You have the other 23 hours to complain, so don't pollute this short time, or you will lose even these few minutes of intimacy.

Don’t underestimate this time, do it happily, 10 minutes a day can warm up intimacy, 20 minutes can rekindle love, and 30 minutes can save a relationship on the verge of breaking up

Make an appointment for a relaxing sex time: Make an appointment every week or every two weeks for a relaxing time for both of you to have sex, at least half a day, without pressure. It is best to have a night's rest in the early morning of the weekend and be in good mental and physical condition. Have sex slowly and relaxedly. Please both of you pay attention to this agreement and make the best preparations for the atmosphere, situation, and mood. The energy of relaxation, satisfaction and pleasure brought by sex with a close lover, who is physically and mentally united, can better support us in resisting tiring pressure.

Reminder: Please remember that everything wins with quality, and it doesn’t matter how many times, because a pleasant experience will make people look forward to the next one more

Daily wars will extinguish the fire of desire

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Relationship conflicts between partners are bad, which naturally affects sex. In this case, the above four sexual life problems will occur at the same time between such partners; if you find that each other is trapped and unable to escape, please be sure to seek professional assistance to avoid unnecessary conflicts and separate the two people. The remaining love is exhausted and the first opportunity to improve the relationship is missed. Resentments have arisen over time, and the layers of conflict and pain have bound the two of them. It is difficult to resolve them

Partners trapped in pain: Improving the relationship is your first priority at the moment. Many people have become disillusioned with relationships and ignore the importance of improving relationships, focusing only on resolving sexual needs. Such an ostrich mentality will only make the relationship worse and sex even more unavailable

Partners who want to break free: If both of you want to improve, the suggestions in the previous four problems can be implemented. Please also remember to "truce" for 30 minutes every day, put aside all conflicts and pain, treat each other well, give each other time to breathe, and let love have a chance to come in. Love will gradually take effect, and sex will naturally improve. space.

Editor’s note: The so-called coordination of sexual life between husband and wife. The so-called harmonious sex between two mature people, in fact, the most critical first step is to clearly recognize the other person's dedication and contribution, and evaluate the great significance of the other person's dedication to oneself "as high as possible." Then, there will be "reciprocity from springs", "happiness between fish and water", and only then will the "sexual" happiness between husband and wife be won.

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