Many couples make the mistake of thinking that since they are boyfriend and girlfriend, they must know what happened to each other in the past. They feel that they should share their thoughts and should not have any secrets, but in fact this is wrong.

Have you ever wondered why you and him always quarrel over trivial matters? In fact, the answer is simple - because there is poor communication between the two people. Let’s take a look at how to break through this communication dilemma.

Maybe you think you and your partner know each other well, but even the most harmonious couple may have unnecessary arguments. Many couples are unaware that they have poor communication with their partner. Although sometimes poor communication may not cause the current quarrel between the two people, if this situation occurs frequently, it will definitely hurt the relationship to some extent.

“I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry” is not only easy to use, but you don’t have to worry about saying it at the wrong time. A belated apology is always better than silence, because your words can not only make up for the harm caused before, but also make the other party feel relieved. Isn't it great?

Mistake 1: Always mid-sentence

Here is the most common conversation that occurs in a couple’s daily life: You tell your boyfriend that you plan to meet some friends next Thursday night Go out to eat. But you forgot to tell him where you were going to eat, at what time, and who would be coming that day. You didn't mean it, because the two of you have been together for a long time, and the way you talk has become brief. What actually happens is that you give him a rough idea, and then subconsciously expect your partner to think of the details missing in the words. Of course, if you talk like this, in the end you will make yourself unhappy because he doesn't know what to ask.

The way couples talk to each other is actually much different from the way they talk to their friends. Because they are used to being with each other for a long time, they feel that there should be a tacit understanding between the two, and the other party should be able to know or guess what they mean. Therefore, couples tend to miss some important information when talking. Therefore, when the other party fails to meet your inner expectations, you will feel lost and disappointed, and various problems will instantly surface due to your own emotions.

There will always be times when relationships don’t go well, but if you can find out where the problem lies in time, it can be easily resolved. First of all, when you have something important to say to your boyfriend, remember to say it carefully and clearly, as if you were talking to colleagues or friends in the company.

On the other hand, when your boyfriend tells you something, if there is anything you don’t understand or don’t understand, bring it up in person. Don’t let the other person think you understand. In the end, it seems like you don’t understand anything. Knowing that, I ran over and asked him again. If it is a very important matter, the two of you might as well find time to sit down and have a good discussion, or write down the things to be discussed and send them to each other via e-mail, so that there will be no cognitive gap between the two.

Mistake 2: Wrong timing

There is one thing that all women must know, that is, you cannot discuss things with your partner when he is in front of the TV. Maybe you would think that just because he is sitting on the sofa, it means he will definitely hear what you say, but you are wrong! A man's brain cannot do several things at the same time, so when he is watching TV, his vision is being stimulated by the TV screen, and other functions of his brain are temporarily shut down, making it impossible for him to talk to you at this time.

In addition, you may notice that every time you are getting ready to go to work or making a transfer online, he will say that he has something important to discuss with you. In fact, it's not that he didn't notice that you were busy, but he had his own intention in doing so. Men can't feel comfortable discussing issues in depth with their partner, so they will deliberately choose a time when you are busy so that you can't catch him and have a long and detailed talk with him.

Actually, I also know that if the timing is not right, chatting may make each other angry. The person who doesn't want to be disturbed will be unhappy with you disturbing him, and you who want to discuss things will make yourself even more unhappy because of the other person's reaction.

You might as well take a good approach at this time. Every time you want to discuss something with your significant other, ask him if it is convenient now and say that you want to discuss with him where to go on vacation at the end of the year. Why do we do this? I'm not his subordinate. If I want to speak, I have to report first. But it's actually necessary to let your partner decide if now is the time to discuss things. If you do this obediently, you will definitely find that you start talking to each other with the same frequency.

If you have a very important matter to discuss with him, try to pick a time when both of you were doing something mindless, such as when one person is driving and the other is in the driver's seat. When you have nothing to do, or when you two are hiking and cooking together, not only can you concentrate, but you also don't have to stare at each other to discuss things seriously because you have simple things to do at hand. The relaxed environment of the moment can make him more willing to share what he wants to say.

You: You seem to be very busy today. What happened?

Him: Yes. That's it, a bunch of things.

You: Have you apologized to your brother? He'll come next week and you two can have a nice chat.

Him: Let’s go eat Italian food next week. Otherwise we can try that new Italian restaurant.

You: I think the car needs to be checked. But it makes strange noises.

Him: It’s okay! That's normal.

The way men talk

Sometimes it sounds really unpleasant, but maybe you need to understand that it is not just your partner, but men all over the world have this kind of virtue. Then you will feel better, right?

They remain silent

Men are much better at keeping silent than women. If they don’t have anything special to say at the moment, or feel there is no need to say more, they will You will remain silent and let yourself sing a one-man show. Sometimes when a man is nervous, such as when he is dating a girl, it makes you wonder if he is not interested in you.

They suppress their emotions

Men are naturally not good at sharing and discussing their emotions with others, especially when the emotion is negative, such as anxiety, fear, or Guilt. They will automatically hide their feelings and deliberately avoid any topics that will arouse their inner displeasure.

They don’t trust their intuition

Men’s confidence comes from exact answers. If you raise a problem without a solution, they'll pretend the problem doesn't exist until you figure out how to solve it.

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Mistake 3: Threatening him beforehand

In order to reduce the impact of the conversation on their partner, many women will say to the other person before discussing the matter, 'Okay, don't be scared when you hear it later' or It's 'I know you won't be happy hearing this, but...'. Please, if you heard this sentence today, wouldn't you also start to feel nervous, afraid that the other party would say terrible things later? Originally, you meant well to ease his mood, but you didn't expect that when you said this, he would become more nervous and frightened, and his brain would directly enter an alert state.

Why are women afraid to directly say what they want to say to their partner? This is because when women choose to deal with a problem, even if the problem is not very important, they will first help themselves to mentally build up and warm themselves up, instead of getting to the point directly. But when a man hears your words, he will go into a defensive state, making it more difficult for you to discuss things with him. Even if you just want to borrow his car to go to the supermarket to buy groceries, he will go crazy.

If you usually give him a shot in the arm when discussing things with him, like saying, 'Get ready to accept the bad news,' you might as well try to adopt a more flexible approach, like Say, 'This is actually no big deal. Do you want to help my grandma celebrate her 80th birthday this weekend?' ’ We guarantee that he will calm down and give you a satisfactory answer.

Mistake 4: You become a one-man show

You must be very discouraged when you encounter the following situation: You are telling an interesting story to your significant other, and halfway through, you find that he is dull His eyes wandered to your face, and instantly you knew that he was not listening to what he was talking to you just now. In fact, it’s not that he doesn’t want to know where you went to play with your friends on Saturday, it’s just that the fun and interesting things that you and your friends heard sounded like a series of confusing words to him.

He told the story simply and concisely, because his mind could not process so many trivial details at once. The limit that a man can listen to attentively is only 3 minutes. If your narrative exceeds that precious 3 minutes, he will not be able to listen to a word of what you say next. At this time, you will definitely get angry with him because he doesn't listen to you attentively.

There are two good ways to overcome this problem: First, use your broad heart to understand his natural brain structure, because

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