Five attitudes that help left-over women successfully "get out of singlehood"

Marriage is a choice in life, and being single is also a way of life. It should be recognized by everyone, and everyone should respect this choice. There is no need to use Restricting traditional ideas and thoughts is also the progress of social civilization. But if you don’t want to be single all your life and don’t want to be a leftover woman, you should change your thinking and adjust yourself as soon as possible.

There is no need to be constrained by traditional old concepts and ideas. This is also the progress of social civilization. But if you don’t want to be single all your life and don’t want to be a leftover woman, you should change your thinking as soon as possible, adjust yourself, and take the initiative in choosing a mate in your own hands. The more you are left, the more passive you will be. Perhaps the following suggestions will be of some help and inspiration:

First of all, look at the "leftover" problem from a different angle and way of thinking

Leftover women don’t have to feel like they’re left over, but they also don’t have to cling to the mentality of “it’s better to be lacking than to be excessive” in pursuit of perfection. The so-called "leftover" is just a relative concept, and it is simply a sense of oppression imposed on you by the outside world. What is "leftover"? Of course there is no standard, it is just measured by the secular standard of the so-called best age for marriage. If your mentality is young, you will always be young, and there will be no so-called "leftover" problem. Let’s talk about “it’s better to lack than to indulge”. On the surface, it is very admirable, but if you think about it carefully, unless you have the idea of ​​​​being single for the rest of your life, there are still some factors at play since you have not been able to find the person you like. It works, that is to say, there is some reason for the "remaining" amount, then you should think carefully about the reason. Despise it strategically, but pay attention to it tactically.

Secondly, you must have your own unique standards for a good husband

Many people seem to be looking for a husband not for themselves but for others. This sounds strange. Of course, you won’t think or feel this way, but sometimes you may fall into this misunderstanding unknowingly. People have a herd mentality and a mentality of following the crowd. Most of the leftover women are people with independent opinions, but in fact, it is still difficult to escape the influence of the outside world in the subconscious. For example, I originally saw a boy and thought he was pretty good, but after one look, My husband is not as tall as a friend or colleague, or he changes his mind when others say something against him.

This is not looking for a husband you think is a good husband, but looking for a husband who satisfies others to gain a kind of vanity. In real life, some girls listen to other people's opinions and find a man whom everyone agrees is a good man, and then fall in love with him. In fact, she doesn't really love this man in her heart. Therefore, girls should have their own opinions and their own unique standards for a good husband, instead of looking for a good husband from the public. What you like and are satisfied with is the best, regardless of what others think (of course you can also refer to other people's opinions appropriately), because what suits you is the best.

Third, you might as well have some selflessness

How do I say this? The older a leftover woman is, the more likely she is to care about other people’s views and opinions, and naturally she cares more about herself. In fact, sometimes it is better to forget some things, such as appearance and education, such as talent and wealth. In real life, the rest are either in too bad condition or in too good condition. The conditions are too bad, so no one sees it; the conditions are too good, so no one dares to see it. Based on this, you might as well learn to temporarily forget some things about yourself and look for love based on your inner spirituality.

Those who are beautiful always think about their beauty, so they will unknowingly elevate themselves, which will make you miss many opportunities; those who are ugly always think about how good they are. If you look good, you will unknowingly look down on yourself and take it for granted that others may look down on you, which will also make you miss many possible opportunities. The same goes for other things like education, talent and wealth, which may hinder your vision. When these things are swirling in your mind all the time, they occupy your thoughts, and there is less intuition and spirituality, so there are naturally fewer opportunities.

Fourth, avoid going to two extremes: too realistic and too romantic

There are some reasons why leftover women remain. As mentioned earlier, either the conditions are too good or the conditions are too good. It's because the conditions are too bad. This is from the objective conditions, and there are also reasons to be found from the spiritual level. Some girls are too realistic and worship material things. They will not marry unless they are rich, they will not marry unless they have a house and a car, they will not marry unless their family has a good background, etc. Obviously, this kind of realistic snobbery will not necessarily wait in the first place. If you like you, others may not like you, and it is inappropriate for marriage to pay too much attention to these things.

This is one extreme. The other extreme is that it is too unreal, too far from reality, blindly emphasizing the so-called petty bourgeoisie romantic complex, reading too many Qiong Yao-style novels and immersing yourself in the fantasy of romance all day long. I hope that my boyfriend must be the kind of prince charming or a hero who saves beautiful women. But once I return to reality, I find that the men around me seem to be too ordinary or unheroic. Obviously, these two extreme thoughts and positioning will seriously hinder your emotional path and miss many opportunities.

Fifth, you don’t have to lower your requirements, but you must adjust your mentality

Many people will say that they will not lower their requirements and standards for mate selection even if they are left, and they think that it is because they can’t find a partner. When I find a boy who meets my requirements, I would rather stay. This is understandable, and there is no need to lower the requirements. Lowering the requirements is meaningless and seems to give people the feeling of making a cheap move. But in fact, the so-called requirements should first be flexible, and rigid requirements are not requirements. Secondly, if you look at it from a different angle or mentality, the original requirements and standards remain unchanged, but the opportunities may be greatly increased.

There are very few leftovers because no one wants them, but more leftover women are because they are too good and no one dares to want them, or you simply don’t like others in your eyes. You might as well "prefer less than excessive", but you must abandon the perfection complex; you don't have to lower your standards for choosing a mate, but you must change your concept and adjust your mentality. If you ask others, others will ask you at the same time. If you give others more opportunities, you will also give yourself more opportunities. Whether it is a leftover woman or a leftover man, in fact, leftover is just a mentality. Women can live a wonderful life without a man. Marriage has the worries of marriage. Being single for a lifetime is also a way of life and should be recognized and blessed by everyone.