” having having experienced it.

It’s not a big problem, it’s just boring

Xiao Mei said——

Yesterday I was working hard to take care of my child at home, and he went to the company to work overtime. Later, when the child became too noisy, I took him for a walk. When I accidentally walked near his company, the child asked him to go in and find his father, but he actually saw him playing CS!

I am so depressed that I am going crazy. In the past few years, I have been bored and toiled for the sake of my children, which has done a lot of harm to my body, but I see little hope. The most important thing is that I have no sense of accomplishment. For the sake of my family, I gave up many career pursuits. What about him?

But it’s weird, right? I actually didn't quarrel with him and just left with the child. On the way back, I was still thinking, why am I so tolerant? When I got home, I understood: I was not tolerant, I was just too lazy to talk to him.

Daxin and I have been together for almost ten years since we fell in love. I haven't had any serious fights, but if he asked me "Do you love me?" I would definitely falter. However, have you ever seen an old couple in their thirties asking each other if they love each other?

There's really nothing wrong with him, except that he's a little lazy and a little indifferent to others. He works in an IT company, often works overtime, and is often invisible. Being lazy is within normal limits. For example, when I go to work, he cooks instant noodles for himself and his children. Also, if you play on the computer during work hours, you still play on the computer after get off work, but the content on the screen changes from work to games. When I came back from get off work, I saw a figure from behind. Sometimes I laugh at myself and say: I can also write an eternal "Back View". Occasionally I feel uncomfortable and hum while lying on the bed, but he can be considerate and say, "Are you making any noise? Then I'll wear headphones."

As for me, in kindergarten, I talk to children every day. You have to speak in a low voice, and no matter how much trouble your child gets into, you have to praise him or her first. I was so tired that I really didn’t want to pretend when I got home.

That's probably it. We don't talk much now, except for saying "Go buy a watermelon after get off work." or "Yesterday's rice was a bit hard."

When I was in middle school, I was playing Qian Zhongshu's "Fortress Besieged". In it, Zhao Hsin-mei said this about Fang Hongjian: "You are not annoying, but you are completely useless." That's what Daxin is like. He gave me his salary card and gave me all his off-duty time. If I asked him to go to the supermarket, the post office, or the bank, he would go; if I didn't ask him, he would play games. There are no major problems in my marriage, it’s just... very boring, like boiled water, like tasteless ribs, yes, like a piece of chewing gum, the more you chew it, the less flavorful it becomes.

I can’t explain why Lucheng is like this now. There have been conflicts, but nothing really serious. For example, after her mother lived in our house for half a year, she and I were a little bit different, but we didn't break up. We were still polite and bought her a lot of things. Sometimes I feel aggrieved. I can't help but treat him and his family well, but I don't get any enthusiasm in return. And I can't even mention it. When I mention Daxin, I say: "How have I done anything bad to you? What kind of enthusiasm have I given you in exchange for it?"

I'm tired of living like this. They say marriage is the grave of love, so let’s forget it. Alas, it’s really boring. Let’s just take it one day at a time.

I have close friends. Sometimes when I’m having dinner, I listen to them talking about their married life or love life. What they are looking for is the “prince with his own charming horse”...I can’t fool around outside. Accepted. But I'm not willing to give in. I'm only in my early thirties, and people say I still look very young. How can I live like this in a backwater?

Daxin said——

I don’t see what she has to complain about. Isn't this great?

Yes, women all like romance, but when they are all married, doesn’t romance become a waste? Where can I find a husband like me? He doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't cheat, pays all his salary, and treats his parents-in-law better than he treats my own mother. I am lazy, but are there any men who are not lazy? I like to play games, but I play them for free. Let her ask around. Are there still a few people who spend tens of thousands of dollars playing games now?

Actually, I also feel weird these days. We both got up in the morning, she cooked and took care of the children, and I cleaned myself up and went to work quickly without saying a word. I repeat this routine again when I get home, then wash up and go to sleep. Sometimes she wanted it, sometimes I wanted it, and most of the time neither of us wanted it, and we just got by.

As for her, just seeing my problems, has she ever thought about her own problems? Now I asked her to buy some clothes for me, and she promised ten times, but she forgot ten times. I got bored and went to the supermarket to buy shorts. It's as if she saw it - or maybe she really didn't see it. The last time I watched a TV series, a woman discovered that her husband was having an affair because of his new underwear, and I angrily thought, Damn, she wouldn’t even know if I was having an affair. She doesn't have me in her heart.

Do I have her in my heart? I think there must be. I'm pretty good to her. She sometimes nags and stuff, but I never argue with her. I had a bad time with my mother when she came to live there. I didn't say anything in front of them, and I tried to persuade my mother behind her back several times. I think my mother and I have been quite tolerant, but Xiaomei doesn't appreciate it. She always feels that she has made great achievements without fighting against my mother. Isn't it right to be filial to the elderly? Is it such a big deal? Is it worth thinking about it with me and forcing me to kowtow to her?

Xiao Mei is not very good at cooking. She makes seaweed egg custard or boiled green beans for a long time. Sometimes she complains a little, and she also has a lot of knowledge about nutrition. But I am not a child, I am an adult, and I also want to eat something I like. I often feel dull when I think about going home to eat, so I simply eat out and don't bother to go back.

Of course, these are trivial things and not worth talking about. Anyway, I don’t really like going home now. Not interesting.

${FDPageBreak}

Marriage needs to be upgraded

Hers marriage expert: Huang Ye, master of psychology, member of the Chinese Mental Health Association, Yuxinyuan Psychology Psychological counselor at the counseling center

There were no major conflicts, and no one made serious mistakes. They just felt dull and boring, and there was a lack of passion in the marriage. Does this herald the end of love?

In fact, it is not. "Chewing gum love" does not mean that you need to find a new relationship, but it reminds you that your marriage life, like your computer, needs to be "upgraded" regularly.

Quiz: Are you in a "chewing gum marriage"?

Take a test with your partner to see if your "chewing gum" has become like chewing wax:

1. You are increasingly sparing words when talking to the other person, even if you encounter interesting things I didn’t bother to share it with him.

2. I no longer desire to hold his hand and walk on the tree-lined road.

3. Rarely eat together, or watch the TV while eating, preferring to be attracted by boring programs.

4. If there is no emergency, you can't think of calling him to say "How are you today?"

5. Even if there is a holiday, everyone should do their own thing, basically There is no intersection.

6. Sex life between couples is optional, and often because they feel tired, they can skip it if possible.

7. I am sensitive to his shortcomings, but have no impulse to remind him.

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