The sudden economic crisis caused the 35-year-old Japanese man Kunyuki to lose his job and have nothing to do at home every day. It happened that his community was recruiting employees, and the first requirement was that they must be married. Bangzhi lied that he would get married within three months and was hired. In order not to lose his job, Bangzhi began to go on frequent blind dates, hoping to get married as soon as possible. At the same time, his childhood sweetheart Haruno has been secretly in love with him, but the dull and dull "herbivorous man" Kuniyuki has not noticed at all... The Japanese drama "Marriage" (also translated as "Long Live Marriage") has just finished airing, Let the popularity of the two new terms "marriage life" and "marriage life tribe" heat up again.

In 2008, Japanese sociologist Yamada Masahiro and journalist Shirakawa Momoko combined the Japanese words "marriage" and "activities" into "marriage" in the book "The Era of Marriage". "In addition to regular blind dates, bachelor parties, and singles bars, men must "exercise their bodies," "hone their sense of clothing selection," "find topics that interest women," and "go to and from the beauty salon. ", women should "go back to the beauty salon and nail salon", "learn to cook" and other actions leading to marriage, all of which are included in the "wedding activities". According to Yamada Masahiro: "If you want to get married, you must take active actions. This is the same as finding a job, so marriage has become a natural trend today!" "Are you getting married?" has become a thirty-year-old The first greetings for single men and women in Japan when they meet are: "Look for a marriage partner as if you are looking for a job" and "Be professional in your marriage" have become the slogans of many leftover men and women.

"Marriage girls" are all "marriage crazy"

Japan has long had the term "jushu", which is the abbreviation of "inauguration activity". Starting a few months before graduating from college in April every year, all graduates start to "live", dress themselves up, and participate in various interviews and seminars with only one purpose: to find a satisfying job. . "Marriage" is similar to "living". People in the "marriage" group participate in blind dates and socializing activities everywhere, hoping to get married as soon as possible. "The Era of Marriage" sold 170,000 copies as soon as it was released, which shows the large number of "marriage" men and women in Japan. As the subtitle of this book says, "25% of young people are not married." Japan's marriage rate has been declining in recent years, and the phenomenon of late marriage is serious. In particular, the unmarried rate among young women has increased rapidly. In a Japanese society where men are still superior to women, the situation of these women is not optimistic.

In Japan in the 1980s, women who were still unmarried after the age of 25 were ridiculed as "Christmas cakes", that is, "out of date and no longer popular." After the 1990s, the 25-year-old threshold was raised to 30 years old, and unmarried women were likened to the "New Year's Eve noodles" that Japanese people must eat on New Year's Eve, that is, "no one eats them the next day." In the past few years, the terms "home girl", "leftover girl" and "doing girl" have become popular. The word "bad dog" from the best-selling book "The Distant Barking of the Bad Dog" by Japanese single female writer Junko Sakai has become a popular term. The latest collective term for older unmarried young women. Especially with the advent of the economic crisis, many large Japanese companies have reduced the number of new hires, making many leftover women eager to get married, not only to solve personal life-long events, but also to ensure "personal financial stability."

Yuriko Akamatsu, a 35-year-old office worker, has participated in two group blind dates in the past six months, but failed to find the right person. "I want to get married because I sometimes feel I might lose my job and marriage is like a permanent employment contract. "

Japan's "online marriage life" is also very active. There is a "Stimulating Love and Marriage" association website that provides services such as finding a partner and marriage information. Ms. Juan Hui, who joined the association, said: "I first read personal profiles and comments, and then start by sending emails. If I think it's good, I actually meet in person. If there is any difference from the blind date method, I think the difference is that we have already met each other. Married people and students are not allowed to join the association. Since the people gathered here are people who really want to get married, it is somewhat similar to a dating agency. "She has met more than a dozen men in the two years since joining the association, but has not yet met. Meet your Mr. Right.

The high demand for "married girls" leads to an imbalance between supply and demand

In fact, not only in Japan, but also in China, it is very common for men and women of the right age to be unable to find a marriage partner, which has given rise to numerous speed-dating programs, blind date parties and other activities. But the difference is that in our country, it is often outstanding girls who cannot find a suitable man, while in Japan, it is often young men with good conditions who cannot find a suitable woman to marry. The main reason is that most Japanese women have relatively high requirements for marriage partners, especially working women. Everyone’s goal is to find a rich husband. Otherwise, if their salary is enough to support themselves, why would they have to get married? Most working men do not have the opportunity to meet the opposite sex due to their busy work schedules. As a result, they cannot find a suitable partner when they are older. This is why marriage introduction activities are extremely popular in Japan.

A Japanese public opinion poll shows that among women who support the view that "men are responsible for the outside and women are responsible for the domestic", the number of women in their 20s ranks second only to women in their 60s, while those who oppose it are mostly Women in their 40s. Momoko Shirakawa said that the vast majority of Japanese women now have no hope of working, and instead regard finding a marriage partner with good conditions as their biggest "career." "According to a large matchmaking company, from January to March this year, the number of registrants in their 20s increased by 50% compared with the same period last year, especially the number of women. Once there is a blind date party limited to civil servant men, many women will sign up immediately. . I personally refer to men who have extensive experience or have engaged in multiple professions as 'department store types', while men who are doctors, defense lawyers, etc. are called 'specialty boutique types'. Specialized fashion stores are popular among women, and the number of women who want to date such men accounts for 70% to 80% of registered women. ”

The "Japanese Government's White Paper on a Decreasing Birthrate Society" published this year also analyzed "the reasons why young people do not get married." For example, 70% of unmarried women aged 25-34 in Tokyo want to find a man with an annual income of more than 4 million yen. , while only 20% of unmarried men of the same age can meet this "basic requirement", the white paper points out that this has caused an "imbalance between supply and demand."

Just as the "married women" are trying their best to get close to those "married men" who are qualified and popular, and ruthlessly reject those men with lower conditions, conversely, the "married men" do the same to women. . Under the threat of the financial crisis, most "married men" have serious financial problems themselves. They prefer to find a partner who has the ability to work and can share the financial pressure, and they will be admitted on a selective basis. However, "married women" who meet this condition "On the contrary, they are decreasing. In contrast, it is inevitable that the prospects of the "married people" will enter an ice age.

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"Marriage girl" dares to be a "carnivore"

The Japanese drama "Marriage" has received good ratings because it is very close to the real life of young Japanese people. But as shown in the drama, if it were not for keeping a job, even though Kuniyuki is 35 years old, he is still very content with his life. Living single, I am not in a hurry to get married, and I don’t even have any plans to find a girlfriend. Even though Haruno kept expressing her affection for him, he remained indifferent. Faced with a "herbivorous man" like Kuni who is gentle and friendly but lacks initiative, many "married women" have to put aside their shy and reserved veils and bravely cultivate themselves into "carnivorous women", just like the Japanese drama "Tokyo Love" Like Akana Rika in "Story", she subverts the traditional role positioning of men and women with the actual action of "women chasing men".

Chatting up single women in bars used to be a classic plot in many romance films, but now in Japan, it is not uncommon for "carnivorous women" to take the initiative to chat up the men they like. Honda Yuta runs a bar called "Green Bar" in Tokyo's Roppongi business district. Last summer, this bar, which featured single men and women dating, suffered serious losses and he had to find a new move.

Just when Honda was worrying about how to position the new bar, he read "The Age of Wedding" and finally decided to transform the bar into a "Wedding Bar". This change has achieved obvious results. Recently, bars are always filled with young men and women in their twenties and thirties who are trying to find marriage partners, especially women. "Many professional women come here after get off work. Although they are very tired after a day's work, it can be seen that they have dressed up very carefully. When they see a suitable partner, they will ask the waiter to invite him to come and sit at their table. , or just walk up and introduce yourself with a cup, this kind of courage was unimaginable before," said Honda, 37 years old and also unmarried. The waiters at the "Wedding Bar" are also willing to match women, which makes the bar very popular. This is a small miracle in the Roppongi neighborhood, which is famous for its nightlife - due to Japan's economic recession, many local businesses have closed early, and some shops have even closed.

The enthusiasm of "marriage girls" has also contributed to the vigorous development of Japan's "marriage" economy. According to reports, the Japanese professional baseball team Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters are preparing to provide "wedding seats" at a game in July this year. They plan to arrange for single men and women to sit together during the game. During the two innings, they will rotate seats. Go to another person of the opposite sex. The "wedding banquet" has 50 female seats. About 2,000 "wedding banquets" snapped up the tickets on the first day of sale, but it took several days for the 50 male seats to be sold out.

If you want "marriage", you also need "life"

Although there has not yet been a large-scale "married group" like Japan, the phenomenon of "leftover women" in our country has become a social issue with different opinions. In March this year, a live singing video titled "Song of Older Literary Young Women" was widely circulated on the Internet. The lyrics more closely reflected the mentality of "leftover women" when choosing a mate - "Miss Wang Three When she was eleven years old, her friends all asked her a question: When are you going to get married? But the question of marriage is not something she can decide alone. She asked her father, she asked her mother, They all said you should hurry up... My friends introduced me to several people who had cars, houses and children. They said you should find someone rich and ask him to sponsor your creation. But the rich people don't like her, they just want her. Marry someone who can cook..."

The two authors of "The Era of Marriage" are firmly opposed to the wait-and-see approach of China's "older literary young women." Yamada Masahiro believes that the idea that a marriage partner will appear naturally is outdated, and the "marriage life" attitude is a positive attitude towards life. To be a good "marriage person", you must first understand what type of person you want to find in your partner, and understand where you can meet such people. Only by doing this can your "marriage life" be effective. Significantly, it saves both time and economic costs.

Yamakawa Momoko specifically reminds women not to boil down all life to "marriage life." "Today's Japanese women have too many misunderstandings about marriage. Everyone should not only seek a good marriage through matchmaking. While the husband provides life support, the wife should also seek a career she likes. This is the new type of full-time job being advocated now. Housewives, only a marriage with such interaction will be lasting and happy.”

Compared with Japan's "marriage life" with clear goals, the "marriage life" in Europe and the United States is more worthy of our reference. Not long ago, the New York Public Library held a lecture on "The Modern Meaning of Feminism," and the $15 tickets were quickly sold out. Many of the people who come to the lecture are singles who are eager to make friends with the opposite sex. in the United States

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