Interpretation: Extramarital affairs are all caused by loneliness

Experience tells us that if the victims of extramarital affairs can detect dangerous love images early, most of them can take preventive measures before they happen. We’ve rounded up the three main causes of extramarital affairs, and if there are any such danger signs in your marriage. Well, regardless of whether your spouse is in fact having an affair, your relationship has already begun to deteriorate.

1. Loneliness

A wife said to us: "My husband Zhang plays with his computer endlessly as soon as he gets home. One day I went to the bookstore and when I wanted to pick up The books and groceries in my hand fell to the floor. A kind man helped me lift the books and asked, "Oh, do you like classic novels?" A week later, I happened to be in that bookstore again. I met him. We talked for more than three hours the next day, but it was not the sex that led to our relationship, but the conversation. To Zhang, I was nothing more than a reproductive machine. , This is all between us. This kind of loneliness is unbearable.”

If a person lacks close feelings in life, he cannot find anyone to share the big and small things in life. Little things. Loneliness will arise spontaneously. This sense of loneliness is precisely the main factor causing extramarital affairs.

2. Monotony

A man said, "Although I have been thinking about other girlfriends for 11 years, I have never really wanted to find an affair. One night, I was attending a party alone because my wife was out, and a woman invited me to her place for a drink or two. At first I was shocked and nervous, and told her that I couldn't go, but that thought kept stimulating me, and I gave up after two days. She hung up the phone and it happened."

The temptation of external stimuli is the second most common cause of infidelity. After five or six years of marriage the passion begins to cool down, daily life falls into a routine, the once free couple has children, and sex always happens at the same time and in the same way. Extramarital affairs, on the other hand, offer many elements of adventure: teasing, pursuit, danger, released emotions, and the trepidation of discovery.

3. Lack of communication

We heard a description of a couple's quarrel: "I am very angry that my husband Liu never helps take care of the children. I also have my job, and the annoying thing is Taking care of the housework became my responsibility.

One Friday afternoon he asked me what to eat for dinner, and I replied: "Let's eat the northwest wind!" He ran outside and shouted, 'I don't have to put up with this! ' Later he told me that that night he and his girlfriend had sex for the first time. There is a lack of awareness in communication styles that undermine meaning, they blame each other, and as a result, anger and bruised emotions seep into all aspects of life, especially sex. The establishment and maintenance of the relationship between husband and wife is achieved through the exchange of thoughts and feelings, and sex is the most important intimate way of emotional communication.

Ms. Li told us: "We quarreled about our sex life, and my husband felt that he took the initiative every time, so he was very unhappy. Indeed, he was sulky to me all day long, so I Not willing to take the initiative at all. So he turned over and went to sleep and ignored me in the morning."

Both parties suffer from these damaging communication methods and suffer. There will be an increasingly strong sense of abandonment, and aggressive communication methods such as anger and abuse will fill the entire couple's life. One mother admitted: "He drove me crazy, so I wouldn't give in."

A female lawyer complained that although she was holding her breath mentally, she still had to remain silent on the surface. Give way. "At work, I have the final say and I give advice to others. But at home, no matter what the facts are, my husband always thinks that he is always right and I am always wrong." Think about it, would a couple in such a relationship be like that? To seek love and sexual relationships outside of marriage?

It is much more difficult and takes longer to save a marriage that is on the verge of collapse than to destroy it and end it. But if you insist on trying to rebuild your relationship, regardless of whether you have had an extramarital affair or not, the following suggestions will be helpful to you:

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Interpretation: Extramarital affairs are all caused by loneliness

Establish the concept of giving priority to your spouse

A female doctor devoted herself to a research project for 11 months, ignoring her husband and family life. One night she didn't go to bed until 12:30 at night after a hard day's work. Her husband gets angry: "I've had enough! I'm not even as good as your job."

Of all the things you care about - work, kids, home, etc. - you and your spouse The relationship must be given top priority, and the main time and energy must be spent on the relationship, followed by other aspects of life. If you can't straighten out your priorities in this way, it's better to break up with your spouse as soon as possible.

Seeking Change

One stockbroker complained: "I always want my wife to know that I need more attention and affection. Sometimes I almost beg her to touch me. , but she always changes the subject. "

Both husband and wife should have the willingness to seek changes. They should start from caring for each other meticulously and pay attention to each other's needs. Then love will rise spontaneously and sex will flourish. Life also gradually becomes a meaningful act of love.

Rebuilding a good relationship between husband and wife takes time, and the experience of loving couples shows that the continuation of this process is uncertain.