In surveys by psychologists and marriage counselors, in reports by social agencies, and in articles by doctors and lawyers, sexual life problems are ranked first in the lives of other couples. According to surveys by relevant personnel, there were many factors that caused disharmony in family life in the past, but the incoordination of sexual life between husband and wife accounted for 50% of the many factors causing conflicts between husband and wife. Disharmony in sexual life causes couples to suffer day and night. In mild cases, they complain to each other, and in severe cases, they file for divorce. So, how can we make our sex life harmonious, especially in adulthood?

1. Sexual desire and sex life

Sexual desire is an individual's desire for sexual needs. According to foreign reports, men have the strongest sexual desire between the ages of 17 and 18, and women around 35 years old. The situation in our country shows that there are great individual differences in sexual desire in adulthood. Some are gradually weakening, some are gradually increasing, and some are basically unchanged.

Sexual desire and sexual performance are both distinct and related. Although some people have sexual desire, their sexual ability is low. Adult men generally have sexual intercourse 3-6 times a month, and the duration of each sexual intercourse is usually 7-20 minutes. The number of sexual intercourses and the duration of sexual intercourse can reflect the strength of sexual desire and sexual ability. Some people have low sexual ability, and have sexual psychology imbalance and sexual disharmony in their married life, but they usually bury it in their psychology. After a certain period of time, the psychological depression formed will further aggravate the disharmony in their sexual life, and further Increase distress. Due to the influence of traditional concepts and feudal ideas, a large proportion of people in my country are dissatisfied with their sexual life as adults. Therefore, how to adjust their sexual psychology, sexual function and their sexual life physiologically and psychologically is one of the major issues related to the physical and mental health of couples in adulthood.

2. Psychological preparation before married life

Compared with the newlywed period, the degree of sexual intercourse between couples in adulthood has declined. Due to the heavier burden, the intensity of the requirements for sexual life has also weakened, and emotional readjustment is required, among which the adjustment of sexual life is indispensable. . It is mainly reflected in the psychological preparation of couples for sexual life. Both husband and wife should understand under what circumstances it is easy to arouse each other's sexual desire and make them willing to have sex, and how to make each other "synchronized" with themselves.

Generally, sexual demands are more likely to occur under the following circumstances:

One is when you are in a happy mood. When something exciting happens at home or at work, or when both parties feel particularly amiable and lovely for some reason, sexual demands are often easily generated.

Second, when the body is healthy, a healthy body and emotions can easily cheer people up.

Third, the weather is warm and moderate. Too cold or too hot weather will affect people's sexual requirements.

The fourth is when the environment is quiet. The noisy environment around the house will destroy people's mood, cause irritability, and thus affect their sexual life.

The fifth is when accepting external stimulation. For example, certain scenes, certain scenes in movies and TV, and certain plots in novels can easily cause sexual impulses in couples.

After one spouse has a sexual desire, how can he pass it on to his spouse so that his spouse's behavior is "synchronized" with his own? This is the so-called "body love", which is the issue of how to send out sexual signals.

Sexual signals are generally sent through verbal actions and non-verbal actions. Verbal actions are divided into two types: direct and indirect: direct verbal actions are relatively clear, while indirect verbal actions include language and hints, related topics, etc., such as having some conversations about sex with your spouse to stimulate the other party's desire. Sexual desire; or urging the other person to go to bed early as a hint. Non-verbal actions are mostly intimate actions such as kissing, hugging, and touching.

When both sides or one of the couple has sexual needs, the best way to express them is "dumb words". This is a common method used by couples to satisfy their sexual desires. It can express each other's wishes skillfully without worrying about being rejected by the other party and hurting one's own self-esteem. Generally speaking, it is men who use the "dumb language" first. For example, after work, bring a bouquet of flowers to your wife, give your wife a small and exquisite gift, or help your wife wash the dishes, wipe the floor, etc. These actions can make your wife understand his intentions. This kind of "dumb language" between husband and wife, especially between middle-aged couples, is very rich and extensive. A raise of a hand, a lift of a foot, or an affectionate look can accurately express the intention and make the other party deeply understand.

Inject fresh elements to keep your marriage fresh

The freshness of couples can often only be maintained for a period of time. In contrast, most people are lazy to change and therefore cannot provide a steady stream of freshness. This is also an important reason for the failure of many marriages. If you live with the same person for decades, getting along day and night, if you don't constantly introduce new things and don't pay attention to cultivating freshness, the feeling of dullness will increase day by day. Freshness is crucial for both parties in a marriage and is an important factor in maintaining mutual attraction. An important way to keep things fresh is to keep changing and growing, so that the other person is always full of expectations and surprises.

Many women subconsciously believe that loving their partner means staying together all day long. They do not realize that being together all day long will make the marriage relationship dull and without any sense of mystery. In fact, people tend to become bored when they are in the world of two people all day long. Getting along with other friends or participating in other activities can bring fresh elements to the marriage relationship.

Hindering emotional growth

Women often bore men by nagging about daily chores. Although it is a difficult task for women to constantly change the content and method of conversation, only in this way will men not be bored and willing to listen and share their feelings, turning it into an important ritual to enhance emotions.

A marriage without passion will hinder the growth of the couple and make the marriage more boring. A married man does not feel respected, he will not continue to grow, and he will gradually become conservative. He may inexplicably feel depressed when he returns home, his relationship with his wife becomes more and more distant, he becomes less and less proactive in doing things, and his handling of daily affairs becomes more and more rigid and unchangeable.

Habitual routines are also one of the main reasons for feelings of indifference. Although you'll get better at following a routine, it still pays to break it from time to time. In fact, sometimes doing something out of the ordinary will make people remember it, and almost all efforts to break the rules will bring unexpected results.

Five Tips to Improve Couple Lifetime

Many newlyweds find that men have too short a time during their married life. In fact, short time is also a disease and should be treated in time. Here are five ways to improve the time spent together.

1. Quit smoking and drinking: Smoking and drinking may numb the central nervous system of the brain, and the response to various external stimuli will be significantly slowed down. Manifested in the couple's life is a slow response to sexual stimulation, or other sexual dysfunctions, such as male ZX, delayed sexual nerve paralysis in women, etc. .

2. Keep exercising: Good physical condition is an important guarantee for a couple's life, but you are also very particular when choosing sports. For example, cycling is not worth recommending. For both men and women, riding a bicycle for a long time can cause serious pressure on the private parts. For men, it may induce BO dysfunction; for women, it may cause numbness in the private parts, and the feeling of marital life will also be significantly reduced. Jogging, walking, etc. are good choices for couples and suitable for most people.

3. Eat a balanced diet Healthy eating habits will improve the condition of blood vessels, thereby increasing the ability to supply blood to the private parts. In addition, balanced nutrition can lower men’s cholesterol levels and slow down arteriosclerosis.

For example, you can often eat leek seeds, river shrimps, jujubes, oysters, etc., which are foods that are good for men’s health!

4. Frequent communication: Strengthening the ideological and emotional communication between husband and wife, eliminating gaps and misunderstandings, understanding the husband's wife and actively cooperating with treatment will help overcome negative psychology.

5. Daily necessities: When living as a couple, the woman can also wear some more interesting clothes, such as some school uniforms, sexy underwear, and some "life" tools; the husband can also use some sprays with traditional Chinese medicine ingredients, such as t-lenbont is a spray that prolongs the life of a couple.