People born in the 1980s are no longer young. When the New Year arrives, "Ben San" has become the topic of greatest concern to those born in the 1980s and even the whole society. This word, destined to become a hot keyword this year, is also reminding every post-80s generation that the time limit has come! Don't keep your head down and hurry up, don't be confused anymore. If you have the same experiences and feelings as the protagonist of this article, you might as well speak up and let others help you with ideas, and also give yourself a warning.

Narrator: Xiao Wu

Occupation: Freelancer

Age: 30

[Core Question]

[Text]

The bell tolls for me

The arrival of 2010 is like a death knell, always weighing on my heart, so heavy that I can’t breathe. It is said that the blockbuster "Confucius" starring all the big names will be released soon, but no matter how popular it is, I will not watch it, because it is because of Confucius's words "at thirty" that he said more than 2,000 years ago that I can't hold my head up more than 2,000 years later. Come. I hate that I was born at the wrong time. I was born on January 1st. When the Gregorian calendar New Year passed, I was the first born in the 1980s to reach the age of 30.

About career

10 years ago, I thought that as long as I worked hard, I would succeed. 10 years later, I know that hard work does not necessarily pay off.

I graduated from an ordinary university with a bachelor's degree 7 years ago. Although the competition was fierce at the time, I still found a fairly good job in a small newspaper relatively easily. I didn’t think too much about it. I always felt that if I kept working hard or taking my time, I would always be able to get ahead one day. Even if I couldn’t get ahead, at least my salary would still increase slowly as my work experience increased. of. But reality told me that I was wrong. After working for two years, my salary was still at the original standard without any change. Repeating the monotonous life, I feel that I am wasting my youth. Looking at my classmates and friends around me, some have become high-paying white-collar workers in foreign companies, some have become influential people in the officialdom, and some have begun to invest in their own business. When the business was done, everyone was very proud. I couldn't accept the fact that when I was in school, few of them were better than me, so I decided to change jobs. Thanks to a trust-based relationship, I went to a large, internationally renowned company. There was no substantial increase in my salary. Although it increased by a few hundred yuan, it was still a pitiful amount. It was okay at first. I worked hard and often worked overtime day and night. Sometimes the overtime pay exceeded the basic salary. I once felt that I was very fulfilled and excellent, but later I found that I was just living in my own world. In this world, it's okay if you don't go out. Once you compare yourself with others, you will find that you are still the most incompetent group of people. It was at a class reunion about three years ago. The classmates who were no longer what they were back then were all chatting. I sat at the corner of the dining table, listening to the talks of "successful classmates" with people who were in the same situation. The noise and the food on the table couldn't arouse my interest. I could only smoke one cigarette after another. I often hated it so much that my teeth itched. I didn't hate my rich and respectable classmates. I would hate myself, but But I felt that I had done nothing wrong, so I turned to hate the embarrassing era I was in, but why did I fail? Am I the one whose life is unsatisfactory? Why?

My buddies and I have concluded that in this era, there are only three ways to make money and get rich: "inherit, marry a rich woman, and do bad things." I don’t think I have the courage or guts to do bad things, and I don’t have any rich and powerful relatives overseas who can let me inherit. It may be possible to marry a rich woman, but I hope that a rich woman who doesn’t even like to talk to ordinary girls will look at me. It seems to be a fantasy. So we thought of doing business together, and it seemed that we could still make some money by doing business regularly. So two years ago, I quit my job, took my little savings and some money borrowed from my parents, and started a partnership with my friends. Opened a small store and started my own business. It was okay at the beginning. Although it was quite hard for me to purchase goods, stock up on goods, and look at the market, there was no one to restrain me, so I worked leisurely and contentedly, and I earned more money. But it seems that God is always having trouble with me. Since last year, several shops in the same industry as ours have opened near the store we rented, but they are larger in scale and more luxuriously decorated than us. They seem to have more confidence than us. Gradually, I found that we could no longer attract customers. It was not that we were not doing well enough or that there was something wrong with our business philosophy, but the business slowly declined. Until the end of last year, we were still barely able to support it. , the small workers have been dismissed as much as possible, and everything is shouldered by themselves. When the new year came around, one of my friends had already revealed that he no longer wanted to do it. I couldn't force it, but I felt sad and confused. I watched my classmates who dropped out of junior high school and started small businesses to own houses and cars several years ago. My friends who went to work in banks after graduating from technical secondary schools were already earning 5 figures a month. As a college graduate, they are called I am the "proud son of heaven" but I have nothing. I often wonder if I have chosen the wrong path. I don’t know how long I can sustain it. I don’t know if the business doesn’t happen, what else can I do? Return to work in a similar workplace? I don't know if I can have a future.

About feelings

10 years ago I said to a girl: "I love you." She said: "I'm sorry, you are still young." 10 years later I said to a girl: "I love you." She said the same : "I'm sorry, I'm still young."

Sometimes I understand why, but more often than not I don't want to tell myself why. 10 years ago I had nothing, 10 years later I still have nothing, rich life experience? That's actually a bunch of shit! Going around and around, I always stay in the same place. I always feel that I have matured. However, when I think about it carefully, I find that I am not as able to see this society more clearly as the girl who said no to me 10 years ago. Understand the so-called love between people.

My girlfriend in college once vowed to be together, but we went our separate ways in the year of graduation, and now we are on the same journey; the girl I met at work told me that she hopes I can work harder and throw away all my charm. I gave it to my boss, which made me so sick that I no longer wanted to say a word to her. During the blind date, the girl was dull and jerky, but she coldly asked me if I had a house and a car. After being unable to answer, we stopped contacting her.

I don’t know if women today can see through society and human nature better than us men. I don’t know if women’s values ​​​​can really reflect the trends of modern society. I don’t know if people like me Can single older young people get care from society? Or maybe they don’t deserve care at all? I watched "Snail House", which was the most controversial topic last year. I know that I obviously cannot be a person like Song Siming. Although I despise his behavior and style, maybe it is people like them who took away the girl who should belong to us. Son, but more than this, what I hate more is Guo Haizao who is willing to be the mistress, but she is still immersed in the so-called happiness of being the mistress. I sympathize with her ex-boyfriend, and I even think that is the epitome of people like me. I don’t understand what women are thinking now. Have their material needs been put at the forefront of their minds? Maybe some people will say that I am "sour grapes", but I know what I am doing. Maybe I am not very successful, but shouldn't people like me deserve the love of women?

Ten years ago I thought many people needed my love, but 10 years later I found that I needed the love of many people.

About life

Ten years ago I thought every child was a miracle, but 10 years later I know that mother is the biggest miracle.

I have too many confusions and questions about this world. Although I am already thirty, I always feel that I have not grown up yet. I still live under the roof of my parents, eating breakfast and dinner prepared by my mother. The meals I cooked. Looking at my father and mother who are getting older, I don’t know what else I can do. I feel very guilty. I have done many things but failed. I have tried hard to achieve the goals they expected, but I have not succeeded. They once complained, but in the end they supported me unswervingly. Home is my safe haven, but not my comfort zone. I know very well why everything my parents have done for me is for, and I also know very well about myself. What to do. Sometimes, when I see the way parents look at other people’s children, I often can’t help but blame myself. I know what they see in their eyes. That’s the me I once was, that’s the future they expect, and the end of their lives. The final expectation is that I can't bear to look them in the eyes. I always swear that I will do something, but I find that after working for so many years, I have not paid a penny to my parents.

I don’t want to talk about cars and houses, as that is already an unrealistic consideration. I just want to be able to provide for my parents in a safe and secure manner, so that they will no longer have to worry about me and spend their old age happily.

When I just graduated, I was very lucky to catch up with the first train of the post-80s generation. I was still able to be labeled as a new era and have all the advantages of the old era. However, times have changed, and now I often hate myself for being stuck on the edge of the times. Why can't I be a pure post-70s generation or even a post-90s generation who is called a brain-dead person?

Postscript:

Resentment, this popular word may be the most appropriate to use to describe this post-80s generation who has already been "running for three years". Perhaps many problems are the characteristics of this era. , but we should not give up our hope. The government has put the support plan for the post-80s generation on the agenda. I believe that we will have a better future in the near future.

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