Introduction: When an ostrich in the desert encounters danger, it will always bury its head in the sand, thinking that it is safe if it cannot be seen... Thus, the ostrich mentality was born. This seemingly negative word is used unconsciously by many people in marriage relationships in order to achieve a stable and happy life. As the saying goes: before marriage, look for a partner with your eyes open, and after marriage, live with your eyes closed...

Secret words of happiness:

The ostrich philosophy in marriage is actually a way of dealing with marital crises and the art of compromise. Being an ostrich is not a matter of who is strong and who is weak, but a choice to maximize interests after weighing the pros and cons. Usually, when it comes to non-principled issues, adopting the ostrich strategy is helpful for relationship harmony, but when it comes to issues of principle, you must think twice before adopting the ostrich strategy. The ostrich behavior of blindly tolerating, even enduring humiliation, and deceiving oneself and others is not advisable. The ostrich that understands, supports, loves, and tolerates is the messenger of happy marriage.

I would rather not know these things

Danyang Yang, female, 25 years old, designer

Danyang Yang got married to the boy she loved. At the wedding, she secretly vowed to hold happiness firmly in her hands. My husband is very good, he is the marketing director of the company, and he is handsome. He is favored by girls. He also likes to make some mild jokes with these girls. Her best friend reminded Danyangyang to pay close attention to her husband, but she couldn't help but said: "My husband is very good to me. He just has a cheerful nature, it's nothing." Although she seems to be generous, she is still cautious in private.

One night, when her husband was taking a shower, his cell phone rang. Dan Yangyang subconsciously flipped through it, and a very ambiguous text message popped up: "I'm really happy today." The sender was a girl. name. At this time, my husband had finished taking a shower and came out. "He's a customer, right? Signed another order?" The husband wanted to explain, but Danyang Yang made a conclusion first and handed over a towel with a smile. The husband had to nod his head noncommittally.

Comment: This is an ostrich who deceives herself. Blind love blinds her eyes. In order to prevent the perfect love in her fantasy from being shattered, she is unwilling to face reality.

Handling suggestions: Listen more to other people’s opinions on your marriage. You have been hypnotized and anesthetized by your own fantasy of love. If you cannot ensure that you will never wake up in the dream you have spun for the rest of your life, the myth must be shattered.

Don’t interfere, ignore

Yu Qian, a 30-year-old male teacher

Yu Qian’s small family life has always been relatively happy, but recently, with his wife’s official duties With the promotion, many contradictions suddenly became apparent. My wife is a strong woman who wants to be perfect in everything. In her words: "If you don't work hard today, you will work hard to find a job tomorrow." Yu Qian works as a teaching assistant in the university, and his working hours are relatively stable. In the past, the two of them could still work together. I cook dinner and take a walk, but since my wife became the deputy manager of the department, she has many social activities and gets off work later.

Yu Qian also had concerns. He discussed with his wife and hoped that she would take more care of the family. "We need to pay for a house and a car. What can you do with your little salary? Isn't it because I am working so hard so that we can live a better life?" The conversation ended unhappily. Yu Qian simply didn't think much about it, ignored his wife's social activities, and concentrated on his own research.

Comment: This is an ostrich that gives up. Although the man is no longer obsessed with the problem, the problem still exists in this marriage, but he just doesn’t know the breaking point. Between husband and wife, giving up communication is the most dangerous sign.

Handling suggestions: Men try to communicate with women from the perspective of understanding rather than asking for changes. If there is an opportunity, also participate in the wife's social circle, and at the same time, let the wife understand her needs.

When the storm came, she chose to endure it

Chunmei, a 28-year-old accountant

Chunmei never imagined that her husband’s cheating would happen to her. In the past, She just reads these sad stories on the forum, and actively responds to the parties involved and gives advice, because she always believes that she has a happy marriage. Her husband and she fell in love for many years before getting married, and they have a deep emotional foundation for each other. , mutual trust and support. Chunmei hoped to use her experience to help others, but she never expected that such a cruel thing would happen to her, and it happened during her pregnancy.

That night, my husband went out with friends after a business party. In the end, he couldn't control himself and did something he shouldn't have done. Chunmei discovered this dirty thing from her husband's clues. She was usually optimistic and confident and was at a loss. What should she do? To leave or not to leave? What to do with the baby in the belly? After several considerations, Chunmei decided to tolerate the matter for the sake of her children and did not expose her husband's behavior. However, the knot in her heart could not be solved, and the relationship between the two was not as close as before.

Comment: The spring eyebrow in the story is an aggrieved ostrich: the "sexual vacuum" during pregnancy is a special testing period that most couples face. In this story, the wife’s choice to “endure” must have given her husband a lot of understanding. But "forbearance" does not mean "forgiveness" and "forgiveness", but an expedient measure taken from the perspective of self-interest. Although the temporary storm has passed, the hidden dangers in the future are still there.

Handling suggestions: Husbands should be more proactive in caring for and caring for their wives, use practical actions to express their sincerity, and create some "happy events" that move her, so that their wives' attention and concern about the cheating behavior can be diverted. , soften; the wife should also tell herself that brooding on past mistakes will not help. If the husband can reflect on his mistakes and is willing to correct them, he might as well give the other party a chance. If the husband has no reflection on the matter, he might as well be more decisive and say coolly. goodbye.

The Ostrich Philosophy of Stars

The "Little Dragon Girl" incident pushed Jackie Chan to the forefront, but Lin Fengjiao faced humiliation with an ostrich mentality. When the storm blew over, she was generous and tolerant Lin Fengjiao seems to have won a happy life. As a woman, Alyssa Chia's ostrich philosophy did not bring her happiness. On the eve of her delivery, her husband had sex outside, but she repeatedly compromised and tolerated it, and pretended to be happy in front of others. It was not until the conflict intensified that her daughter was forcibly taken away. The "misfortune" of his marriage was made public.

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