In love but not together

Not long ago, I met a college classmate. We were classmates for four years, and the deepest impression he left on me was that he and my roommate fell in love vigorously and life-and-death. After graduation, they went to the same city but broke up. When old friends meet, they can't help but ask about the reason for the breakup. He was quite frank and said that it was inappropriate for the two of them to be together. His current wife is a clerk in a company, a typical good wife and mother. She has been married for ten years, and he has been working out of town for almost five years. Now, he is successful and has absolute say in the family, while she is willing to play a supporting role and is content with having a successful husband. I really can't imagine that his ex-girlfriend, my roommate, and now a successful and successful woman, could give up her pursuit for any man.

Only love does not mean that you can get married

The reason I fell in love so deeply was because I was too imaginative. In love, sympathy is the most important, but marriage tests compatibility. Two equally high-quality parts admire each other when they are not on the same machine. You have me, and I have you. Put it on a machine and run it, but it is often because the functions of both parties are too powerful and flamboyant, and you knock me and I knock you.

Marriage without love is risky. However, if you think you can get married only with love, the risk may be even greater. "Get married if you think it's appropriate." This is the attitude of countless mothers when facing their daughter's life-long event. She didn't say love, but said it was appropriate, not because the word "love" was too obscene and disgusting for her to say, but subconsciously, mothers who have experienced a long married life no longer value love, but suitable.

First get used to it and then talk about marriage

Alexandre Dumas said: "Arguments and injuries are just ways to test love." Everyone who has ever had a deep love should know that when you love someone deeply, you often cannot tolerate dullness. . Trouble will be caused every once in a while, causing the emotions of both parties to fall into rock bottom. The pain of struggling up from the bottom is the best proof of love. The so-called intertwining of love and hate, without hate, there is no love. In the eyes of the older generation, lovers who love each other to the death are probably not suitable for entering into marriage. The so-called "deep love will not last long". Or simply have a love marathon to get "suitable" first, and then talk about marriage.

The so-called appropriateness represents a relatively comfortable state. It is possible that comfort will lead to habits, and habits will lead to mediocrity. There is no longer a quarrel every three days and a quarrel every two days, and there is no more unforgettable love and hate. Its premise is that two people can tolerate and complement each other in terms of personality. It is best that in life, the woman is strong and the man is weak, and in career, the man is strong and the woman is weak. Unconventional love is the most beautiful, and conventional marriage is the longest-lasting. In any case, marriage is the most serious wear and tear on love. Whether it is the sublimation of love or the establishment of family ties, it has nothing to do with love. As the running-in intensifies, the disharmony in personality that was deliberately ignored when falling in love will become more and more obvious. Those men and women who think they have fallen in love with each other only then find that he is just as lonely, self-admiring, and unhappy as themselves. Practical, equally playful, equally unwilling to make progress, or equally unwilling to be mediocre. Love is about "commonality", while marriage is about harmonious "differences". Only by learning from each other's strengths can we avoid being torn apart.

Who can you fall in love with for the rest of your life?

As for those melancholy people, romantic people, passionate people, and super cool people who once made us want to die, they are suitable for falling in love with most women, but they are not suitable for dating with most women. Women get married. If you're not Yoko Ono, you can't expect to subdue John Lennon.

"I don't think you two are suitable together." When relatives and friends comment on your relationship like this, don't laugh it off, or even wonder to yourself, how much do you know about us. You might as well think about what is wrong with us, whether it can be overcome or difficult to overcome, whether it is the misunderstanding of others or whether it is real. Of course, the less rational a woman is, the happier she is, and she will be happier if she is in a lifelong relationship. The question is, who can you be in a lifelong relationship with?

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