At the beginning of the video of grandma supporting her gay grandson, a kind old man sat on a wicker chair holding a cardboard with the words "anti-discrimination, fight for rights" and slowly began to narrate.

"I am 90 years old this year, and my grandson @MUOTZHAI is gay. He is very filial and sensible, and I love him very much. I hope he can find a boyfriend and live a happy life." In the video, the grandmother spoke in Fuzhou dialect, I would like to convey my best wishes to my grandson to everyone who watches the video.

The old man's grandson Amu is a 28-year-old engineer in Fuzhou. "My grandma expressed her support for me through the video, which gave me the courage to let go and love." Amu said that the video was shot by his mother last weekend. "I confessed my sexual orientation to my parents in 2012, but they didn't accept it at first." Let him Surprisingly, his grandmother fully supported him after hearing the news. “She even tried to persuade my parents to accept my sexuality.”

Grandma's willingness to make a video to publicly support her made Amu sigh, "She understands me better than my parents!" Amu said that shooting this video meant that grandma had to accept pressure from relatives and friends, as well as doubts from many strangers, but grandma still Supporting him without hesitation made Amu write on Weibo, "I have gained too much, what else is worth being pessimistic about?"

After the video was released, the response it received far exceeded his imagination. "I'm a little worried that my grandma will be hurt by showing her face." Amu said that his grandma's support allowed him to face life positively, and he also hoped that some people who were against homosexuality would not hurt his grandma with words. .

There is a difference between same-sex attachment and homosexuality

A former friend came to visit and was embarrassed to talk about something: his 13-year-old son and a neighbor boy of the same age had played together since childhood and went to school together from kindergarten to elementary school. They were like brothers and were inseparable. But recently, he felt that the two children often hid together behind each other's backs, and their relationship seemed a little abnormal. The attentive father finally discovered that the two children were doing "dirty things" together, such as playing with each other's external genitals and so on.

He was anxious and panicked about this, and wondered whether the two children were homosexual.

The author also met a girl in high school. In the past month, she had been feeling sad and melancholy, and even had thoughts of committing suicide. After questioning, it turned out that this anxiety was caused by the loss of a "close friend." She used to have a very close relationship with a female classmate. The two of them had vowed to never be interested in or interact with any other third party for the rest of their lives and to devote their entire lives to each other. But this special relationship lasted for two years, and the female classmate moved on to him again and fell in love with another girl. This made her sad and jealous, and she wished she could die. After some counseling, I discovered that this girl has developed a fear and hatred of men since she was a child. It turned out that when she was a child, there was a vicious case of a girl being raped to death near her home. After the incident, her parents were extremely nervous. Whenever she went out alone, they gave her numerous warnings to avoid strangers and beware of being abducted and raped. Her father also took special protective measures and took her to and from school every day until she entered middle school.

These two cases raise the question, that is, can homosexuality occur in adolescent boys and girls?

Same-sex attachment and homosexuality are two completely different concepts. Boys and girls in adolescence long for friendship and are eager to find someone who can understand them so that they can have long conversations and pour out their innermost thoughts. At the same time, they are in the stage of rejecting the opposite sex. Therefore, it is normal for their close friends to be same-sex peers who share the same heart, treat each other with sincerity, and share a common bond. Since the sexual physiology of boys and girls during this period is in the developmental stage, sexual maturity is common, which is contradictory to their naive ideology. Their hazy sexual psychology prompts them to experience sexual feelings through various blind means, such as hugging, Kissing, playing with external genitalia, etc. The targets of their venting are mostly their close friends, so they should not be regarded as homosexuals.

Nonetheless, same-sex dependence in adolescence should not be taken lightly. Because of excessive attachment to people of the same sex, it is easy to lose one's independence and complete personality, develop a sense of inadequacy in social interactions, confine oneself to a narrow circle of interpersonal relationships, and easily develop into homosexuality as an adult. If teenagers have an unusually close attachment to the same sex, they will develop the awareness that only the same sex can be comfortable and harmonious when they play and socialize together. When they reach the age of further interaction with the opposite sex, they may still be unwilling or afraid to interact with the opposite sex. If there is lack of correct guidance and Education is likely to lead to rejection and aversion to the opposite sex, pursuit of the same sex, or celibacy. Therefore, same-sex attachment phenomenon will have a negative impact on children's physical and mental development.

Parents should pay attention as early as possible to how and what kind of friends their children make. For adolescent children, once signs of excessive attachment to the same sex are discovered, in a warm and friendly atmosphere, a persuasive approach can be adopted to encourage the children to make more friends, and consciously introduce a few male and female classmates with similar interests to the children so that they can study and learn together. Entertainment and socializing to gradually reduce the attachment between specific same-sex people.

If you find that a child kisses, hugs, or plays with each other's external genitalia while playing with the same sex, you should neither humiliate or scold the child rudely in person, nor reprimand other children as bad children or ban them from interacting with each other to avoid hurting the child's self-esteem. Instead, children should be allowed to participate in more healthy and beneficial cultural activities to distract their attention from sex. At the same time, children should be given adolescent sex education to eliminate the mystery of sex and morally and psychologically respond to some bad behaviors. Dislike, consciously resist bad behavior. Some parents are indifferent to the above-mentioned bad behaviors of their children. If things go on like this, they may cause the children's mental state to develop abnormally, which will be more difficult to correct when they grow up, and may lead to true homosexual behavior.

To correct children's same-sex attachment phenomenon, we should also look for psychological reasons and use psychological therapies such as supportive psychotherapy, psychoanalytic therapy and social skills training to cooperate with educational guidance. For example, the second case of a female high school student in this article, after a period of psychological treatment, she gradually eliminated her fear of men, and slowly began to be willing to associate with some male classmates who seemed to be weak, filial, and less threatening to her. A year later, I gradually began to interact freely with the male classmate I liked, gradually developed feelings, and no longer flinched. By the time she graduated from high school, this girl had extensive contacts with her classmates, had a cheerful personality, was enthusiastic and generous, her academic performance improved rapidly, and she was successfully admitted to a key university.

Is homosexuality congenital or acquired?

Currently, same-sex behavior has been found in nearly 300 species of mammals and birds. This discovery also makes people think that homosexuality may be genetic.

In 1990, American neuroscientist Levy published a famous study in the authoritative journal Science, proposing another evidence that sexual orientation has a biological basis. He examined the brains of 41 corpses, including 19 gay men who died of AIDS (AIDS) or its complications, 16 heterosexual men (six of whom died of AIDS), and six presumed heterosexual women. , observed cells in the brain related to sexual orientation.

In 1993, Hamer and others announced that a certain type of male homosexuality is tended to be transmitted through the maternal line, and that its gene inheritance site is on Xq28 at the top of the long arm of the X chromosome.

Of course, all these studies are not enough to reach a generally recognized and reliable conclusion, because there are methodological problems such as the results obtained by different researchers are very different, or the samples are too small, or lack reproducibility. What can be seen is that the biological nature of homosexuality has received more and more attention and certification.

There are also various non-biological explanations for the causes of homosexuality. For example, social learning theory believes that homosexuality is a learned behavioral pattern; family determinism, some people believe that unkind and unkind fathers hinder the development of masculinity in sons and femininity in daughters; psychoanalysis theory maintains that homosexuality originated in early childhood. Some psychoanalysts believe that homosexuality is caused by a narcissistic complex; social determinism asserts that homosexuality is the result of social construction; interactionism or multiple models believe that homosexuality is caused by biological factors, cultural factors and psychological factors. The result of factor interaction. Now it seems that these non-biological explanations, even if some examples can be found, are actually relative homosexuals or situational homosexuals, and are not discussing real homosexuals, that is, absolute homosexuals.