I was born in the 1980s and raised in the 1990s. I graduated from university in the 21st century and am a standard post-80s generation. If we count it based on age, I think I still have a say in this issue.

As long as you open major websites now, you will find that those born in the 1980s are corrupt and degenerate. It seems that the atmosphere of the entire society has been corrupted by our group of people. Now I am a child born in the 1980s. Let’s talk about the most representative issue among these topics-the issue of chastity.

Every time I see topics like virginity and premarital sex being talked about on the Internet, there are people who criticize each other, people who attack each other, and people who praise each other.

I think why can’t everyone sit down and discuss these issues calmly? Let me talk about some of my personal opinions as a post-80s generation:

1. Many people will say that there are no virgins these days. If you want to find a virgin, you have to go to a kindergarten? I don't know what the people who said this mean? Or some kind of abnormal psychology. Based on my four-year college experience, I cannot say that every girl around me is a virgin, at least 90% of them are. Take the author's department as an example. Basically, it is rare to hear about the phenomenon of cohabitation outside the campus. As far as the class and dormitory where the poster is in, not to mention living together off campus, even the phenomenon of staying out at night has never happened in the four years of university life where the poster lived. Later, after I graduated and started working, I discussed this issue with many female colleagues. Many of my female colleagues expressed doubts about such a statement. Many of my colleagues are from other places, and as far as I know, there are very few people living with friends of the opposite sex. I don’t necessarily want to be more serious with some people, but I am telling some of the realities of life that I have seen and heard. I don't want everyone to live with a blind eye. Therefore, men should not be afraid that they cannot find a virgin, and women should not feel ashamed because they are or are not virgins.

2. Many people (both men and women) would say that that membrane is that important? I think that membrane is certainly not important. It does not belong to any organ of the human body. It does not participate in any life activity in the human body. Without it, the human blood will still flow, the pulse will still beat, and the human body's metabolism will still proceed normally. . But it reflects a kind of life and attitude towards life, which is what many people value. A person who does not know how to restrain his behavior before marriage will find it difficult to restrain his behavior after marriage.

3. Is it wrong for a man to value his wife’s virginity? In fact, such a mentality is very understandable. Many girls will say: Are you a virgin? Why do you ask me to be a virgin? I feel that saying such arrogant words is really meaningless. On the contrary, it will appear very powerless and guilty, because it is impossible for them to change anyone's ideas. The pursuit of perfection is a human instinct, not to mention that love is selfish and sex is also selfish. I hope that the person I love is complete and beautiful. Isn't this kind of psychology the most normal psychology?

4. Is it true that non-virgins go to hell and virgins go to heaven? I think this statement is also a big mistake. Virgins are not angels, and non-virgins are not devils. I also mentioned just now: that layer of film only reflects a person's attitude towards life and has nothing to do with morality. Even if it does, it is only an indirect relationship. In my opinion, any accusation of wrongdoing is feeble. It is understandable for any adult to have a physical relationship with the person he loves. But a person's attitude towards life directly determines a person's quality of life. There is a saying that goes well: Attitude determines everything. I think a truly mature man would disdain to discuss such issues as "place" and "non-place", but I would like to ask sisters, how many such mature men are there, and such mature men are the ones we meet? What are the chances? Do those who are mature on the outside really mean they are mature on the inside? Virginity and virginity are really not that important. What is important is that we can find someone who agrees with us ideologically. If a non-virgin finds a man with extremely serious virginity issues, then I think even if the woman loves this man again, then This man will not respond to the same degree; and if a virgin finds a man who is indifferent to whether he is a virgin or not, then I think her virginity means nothing at all.

5. Many young girls will hesitate like this: Do I want to have sex with him? He said: If you love me, you must give him XX? The poster's BF also made such a request to the poster, but was flatly rejected by LZ. My reason for rejecting BF is: I don’t want you to be a father without any preparation? This is irresponsible to me and it is not responsible to you either.

To be honest, I love my BF very much. He is my first love. I can cook, wash and clean the room for him. When he is sick, I am more anxious than anyone else. I urge him See a doctor and take medicine. I can do all these things for him, but this is the only thing. Because I am not very sure about our future (this has nothing to do with love), I also deeply hate abortion, which is extremely harmful to a girl’s body, and I am also very skeptical about any contraceptive measures. , so I cannot put myself in such an extremely embarrassing situation as "pregnant out of wedlock".

More importantly, I hope that my BF will marry me because he finds that I am really a partner that he can spend his whole life with, and that I can share the joys and sorrows of life with him. Rather than being responsible for me because I have his baby in my belly. Because I know that no one in this world can be responsible for me, not my BF, not my future husband, not even my parents, the only one who can be responsible for myself is myself. And I hope that my own marriage is based on true love. I hope that I find someone who has a congenial personality and similar interests, who can agree with me mentally and share my life with me, not because of me. With whose child I have, I hope I can have a happy married life, and I hope I can have a high-quality life.

My understanding of marriage is: love - marriage - love (responsibility). After I turned down my BF's request, there was no rift in our relationship and he respected my choice.

6. What are the consequences of premarital sex and cohabitation before marriage? I remember a famous Western military proverb: If a nail is dropped, a horseshoe is broken; if a horseshoe is broken, a war horse is destroyed; if a war horse is destroyed, a battle is lost; a battle is lost. A battle that destroyed a kingdom.

Although this is describing a war, I think it is not a bad idea to use it as a metaphor for life. Our lives are made up of several details. If there is a problem with any detail, it is actually not a big problem as long as you have the ability to make up for it. However, many times the person who creates the problem is often the person least capable of solving it.

The example of a male friend of mine in real life illustrates this problem very well: This friend of mine, who is not very old, insisted on being with a girl despite the opposition of his parents. As a result, the girl became pregnant. and forced him to get married. After getting married, he increasingly realized that the union between him and his wife was a huge mistake. As a result, when the child was about a few months old, he fell in love with another girl. The girl didn't know that he was married. Later, after the girl got involved, he told everything. The girl wanted him to get a divorce. Later, his wife was very angry when she found out all this, but what happened later made him have an epiphany of conscience and he decided to leave the girl. However, my male friend has been living in pain since then. Of course, this kind of pain is difficult for outsiders to see, but I can feel it when he tells me all this. During the conversation between him and me, he would complain like this many times: This is my destiny, so I am destined not to get happiness and love?

Is the truth really what he said? Hearing this, I feel that I can't just laugh it off or scold this stinky man. We should look at this problem rationally and analyze this problem. First of all, if this man listens to the opinions of his elders on the issue of mate selection, because no matter how young we are, No matter how highly educated a person is, he is still very immature when it comes to judging people. Then, I think he may be able to treat his girlfriend rationally. Secondly, if he can control himself well, he will not have such a huge reason to get married later, so I have repeatedly emphasized that using children to threaten Getting married is not only extremely irresponsible to oneself, but also a sign of great disrespect for life. Of course, all this is not irreparable. When he finds out that he and his wife can't get along after getting married, he can choose to divorce instead of loving another girl to escape his unfortunate marriage. He would look for his own love and life in the future, but he didn't. He lacked such courage in his character. He made mistakes again and again, and even dragged an unrelated person to the bottom.

As far as I know, after he left that girl, his wife became more arrogant towards him, and quarrels were common. I think it would be difficult for any marriage to have such a shadow. No matter how happy they are, the more important thing is that the two protagonists in this marriage have very poor ability to deal with life problems. So you can imagine the impact on children who grow up in such an environment. of. I can’t imagine such a child choosing a girlfriend or a life partner when they grow up. Anyway, if I have children in the future, I will not let my children marry children from such a family. Hahaha, I am thinking too far. My male friend is actually a very good person in other aspects. He graduated from a prestigious university and has a very good career, but his marriage was a complete failure. The happiness of marriage directly determines a person's quality of life.

Carnegie once said this: The only one who can make yourself happy is yourself. I think anyone who believes in luck will never be happy. I cannot guarantee that I will have a happy marriage in the future. There will be no man-made disasters or natural disasters. But since I have foreseen the problems that will arise in my life, I will do everything possible to avoid them. I must put these dangers aside. Keep factors within your control.

My summary of my friend's marriage is: a blind love - an unhappy marriage - a fruitless extramarital affair - an even more unhappy marriage - an unhappy marriage Kids + two depressed adults.

7. I don’t think any man has the right to accuse non-virgins. You can ask your wife to be a virgin, but you want others to do the same.

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