Zhang Lei, who stood out from more than 11,000 contestants in the China Central Television Host Challenge Competition in 2006, has hosted many programs and is deeply loved by everyone. Her sweet and calm temperament has been recognized by everyone. She was beautiful on stage, but off stage she also met a fifty-year-old tycoon through the help of Bi Fujian.

According to reports, the tycoon she married is named Wang Jicai. He is the chairman of a certain group. He is mainly engaged in the iron ore business in Anshan and has invested hundreds of millions of yuan. In 2005, it was said that Wang Jicai's company had a net profit of hundreds of millions, and a photo of the two of them was also exposed. Zhang Lei was able to recognize this rich husband thanks to Bi Fujian. He had a good personal relationship with Zhang Lei, so he also considered her life-long affairs, which ultimately led to this marriage.

Are older men more popular with women?

There are many types of beauty in women, and men are no exception - the tall, fair and elegant type, the strong and cheerful sunny type, the steady and reliable mature type, the vicissitudes of life and simple career type... There are so many types of men, which one is more popular with women? Woolen cloth?

A study published on the British "Women's Blog Network" gives the answer: Men with a sense of vicissitudes are more likely to be favored by women.

Experts from the British Institute of Evolutionary Science conducted the survey. They selected 3,408 women as survey subjects and asked them to rate photos of men with different physical features and write down the male features that attracted them the most.

It was found that men who looked older than their actual age and had slightly wrinkled faces scored higher. A previous study by the University of St. Andrews in Scotland also showed that women prefer men with slightly square jaws, rough skin, and slightly wrinkled skin.

Researchers analyze that men with vicissitudes of life generally have stronger male hormone secretion and stronger fertility. At the same time, they have rich social experience and can bring a sense of security to women.

However, the study also found that for women who already have a stable boyfriend or are married, men who look similar to their partners will receive higher scores, which shows that once women have established a relatively stable relationship with their boyfriends, they will not Easily shaken due to appearance factors.

Young girls falling in love with older men may have psychological problems

As a young girl, why do you always fall in love with the kind of old man who can almost be your father? Do you really love him, or does his appearance satisfy some of your desires? Everyone knows that what you desire most is what you need most, but in real life, the desire you need most often cannot bring you happiness, but instead leads you to greater loss and disappointment.

Here, exploring the reasons why a "little" woman falls in love with a "big" man may help you recognize your deep desire: maybe it is because you are too hungry in this aspect that you fall into the bias; or, if you are too lacking in this aspect, you That's why I'm eager to find that kind of compensation.

Reason 1: Loss of childhood father’s love

Your performance:

1 . When you see him, you feel like your childhood without a father's love has been compensated.

2. Once you fall into his arms, another kind of loss arises.

Your experience: Born in a single-parent family where your father died when you were young, or your parents divorced.

Psychological analysis:

Since you subconsciously long for a father, it will be difficult to let go of your original desire when you are looking for a love partner. And because you have no experience with your father, most of your desire for your father comes from your fantasy. Therefore, real people in reality will often deviate from your fantasy and disappoint you.

If when you see him, you feel that your childhood without father's love has been compensated, then instead of saying that you have found love, it is better to say that you have found a partner with a shortcoming in your heart. Although compensation and love are often very similar, in essence they are different: love is production, compensation is consumption; love is positive, compensation is negative; love is giving, compensation is taking.

Love can only become productive in a healthy personality: you give me love, and I produce more love because of your love. On the contrary, if you only regard him as the compensation for your inner needs, it will be difficult for you not to fall into the bias of blindly "enjoying" the compensation, so that you forget or neglect to give it to the other person, because your personality is not perfect and you lack the power of love in your heart. , in this way, even if he loves you very much at the beginning, as his desires are satisfied and time goes by, his love for you will inevitably not be lost; similarly, your love for him may also be affected by differences in age and personality. And fission occurs. As a result, you thought you could get away with it once and for all by relying on an elder-like man. However, once you fall into his arms, another sense of loss will arise spontaneously, and the compensation for the loss will bring you even greater disappointment.

Action Plan:

1. Getting out of the shadow of childhood

If you have been living in the fantasy of longing for your father's love for a long time, it is imperative to get out of the shadow of childhood. Because only by getting out of the shadow of childhood can you face your future life; only by getting rid of the troubles of fantasy can you find your own preferences. Psychologists tell us that longing on the one hand will inevitably bring about depression on the other. Maybe you, like others, need the cheerfulness, vigor and enthusiasm of your peers. Then, forget the unhappiness of childhood. Once you get out of the haze of childhood, you will find that there is sunshine outside the house.

2. Don’t reject suitors of your own age

On the road to finding love, don't be preconceived, let alone be autistic for no reason, and don't think that you won't have feelings for people of the same age except older men. You know, many times we don’t understand ourselves, and people can only truly know themselves and find themselves in the opposite sex. Therefore, don't easily reject a suitor of the same age. Maybe you really don't feel anything at first. Once you open your heart, you will find unexpected freshness and fun in the actual interaction with "him".

Reason 2: Too deep feelings for my father

Your performance:

1. Being with him makes you feel like you are back in your childhood.

2. As long as you are with him, you can be coquettish and willful without any scruples.

Your experience: You have been surrounded by strong father's love since you were a child.

Psychological analysis:

Sometimes, if you have too deep feelings for your father, it will also cause you to favor and prefer older men in the future. This is because during the long journey of childhood, you have become accustomed to your father's indulgence and pampering, and you have also become accustomed to your own coquettishness and willfulness towards your father. Your mind is still that of an underage child; you may be able to enter social roles at work, but emotionally it is difficult to step out of the world of childhood. Once the fire of love sprouts in your heart, your accustomed behavior will inevitably lead you to a A grown man who is quite similar to your father.

Objectively speaking, the life of a young girl and an older man may not be unhappy, but the prerequisite is that you must have love and know how to exchange truth for truth and love for love. If the other person shows true love to you, but you are self-centered at all times, or completely want him to obey your pulse, such unequal love may be difficult to maintain, and your relationship may even conflict or break down.

Action Plan:

1. Get out of your father’s influence

Usually, father's love is a limitation and supplement to mother's love. Because mother's love is unconditional, father's love is conditional. Unconditional love gives children the warmth of love, and conditional love teaches children the propriety of love. If your father not only fails to give you the right amount of love, but also indulges you too much, then his pampering of you may confuse the value of your love and deprive you of your ability to grow up. As one half of a gender relationship, if the love in your mind is only asking for love but not giving, it may be difficult for you to find happiness in an interactive relationship between the sexes.

2. Learn to pay attention to others

Consciously learning to focus on others can help you step out of your narrow self-centeredness.

Reason 3: After falling out of love with a young boy, seeking protection from a grown man

Your performance:

1. You think only older men can give you safe love.

2. You know that he treats you impeccably, but you still feel like you are missing something.

Your experience: I have been deeply hurt by a young boy. They either changed their minds or walked away irresponsibly. The excuse was "I was immature at the time and was just impulsive."

Psychological analysis:

Out of revenge or retreat, you no longer dare to associate with those young and irresponsible boys. You say that they are all immature. You believe that only truly mature men can give you a sense of security, so you choose a man. A man who could almost be your father.

But after experiencing the pain of a broken love, it seems that a girl who is persistent in love can easily develop completely opposite changes. In the past, you wanted to find someone you love, but now you think it is more affordable and cost-effective to find a man who loves you. In this way, you will inevitably fall into the trap of replacing love with interests. Once the rice is cooked, you will find that although he treats you impeccably, you still feel like you have lost something.

Action Plan:

1. Don’t look for support with scars

After a period of hurt, it is best not to rush into a relationship. People need to recuperate after physical injuries, and people need to cultivate and adjust after psychological injuries. It's not impossible to find support with scars, but the pain of scars makes you prone to choice errors, and the potential resentment makes it easy for you to confuse the measure of love.

Although the grievances of injury and the pain of imbalance often require a substitute that can temporarily heal the injury, however, the substitute is not love after all. After the scars heal, the call of love will tell you true love. Rather than being caught off guard when wrong love happens, it is better to let reason be your master from the beginning. In this way, not only will you not waste yourself again, but it will not be unfair to others.

2. The true meaning of love is not to take but to give

Maybe your fascination with big men is that you don’t want to give but only want to take. If that is the case, even if the other person is willing to give, you will not be happy if you are addicted to being loved. The happiness of love is not the result of sitting back and enjoying the fruits but the result of hard work and sowing. Once you learn to sow love, maybe the charm of a big man will weaken. You have to believe that only through your own labor can you receive your own love.

Reason 4: Thinking too much about a girl’s love dream

Your performance:

1. You never had feelings for boys your own age, thinking they were shallow and tasteless.

2. Only the mature charm of a grown man can make your heart flutter.

Your experience: You are introverted, sensitive, and preoccupied by nature. I don’t know when, you began to be fascinated by the images of mature men created in novels and movies. Their deep eyes, mysterious smiles, and complicated pasts all have an unspeakable attraction for you.

Psychological analysis:

There is such a statistic in the West: a weak, thoughtful boy is prone to fall in love with a mature woman. Similarly, for a sentimental young girl, older men can easily become her temptations.

This is because sentimentality is often the product of overthinking: without thinking, there would be no sorrow, and without thinking, there would be no feeling. The problem is that a woman's romance often comes from her narcissism, and her narcissism deepens her romance, and her fascination with older men is mostly the product of this romantic feeling.

What's more, her pain is not in the relationship itself, but in the fact that she doesn't want to develop a relationship, but just wants to stay romantic. Because she likes secret love more than love, and she likes to enjoy the joys and sorrows of secret love exclusively rather than confessing. She was just living in a dream she had constructed for herself. It doesn't matter if her lover is really outstanding, but if he is not as outstanding as she imagined, her dream will be shattered, and she herself will be hurt by the disillusionment.

1. Get out of narcissism

Most narcissistic girls are depressed. Her advantage is that she is thoughtful and sensitive, and has a stronger perception of life than her peers. Her disadvantage is that she is fragile and afraid of reality. Her romance involves varying degrees of self-abuse. If she is lucky enough to meet a grown man who loves her, she will Learn to live and get rid of narcissism; if she unfortunately meets a cynical player, she will deepen her self-injury and self-abuse due to the pain of broken love.

If you are this type of girl, it is best to consciously participate in some group activities so that your loneliness can be resolved through communication with others, or you may wish to devote yourself to a job or career that interests you so that you can participate in a wider world. Overcome depression and feel for others in your life.

2. Get out of unrealistic romance

Romance in itself is not a bad thing. If a person maintains appropriate romantic feelings outside of real life, her life will not be easy to rust, and it will be easy to maintain vitality and optimism. If she is obsessed with romance and divorced from reality, her life will not be easy to unfold, and she herself will feel lonely and hurt due to the narrowness of life.

However, no one is an isolated island and can be completely autistic. Maybe you and him cannot be happy in a dream, but dreams always wake up, and people always grow up one day. Instead of waiting until then to regret the past, it is better to face it. For now, cherish yourself. Maybe you are overly thoughtful