Can men and women enjoy sex in bed alone after marriage

Gender interpretation: After marriage, can I still enjoy sex in bed alone?

When a person gets married, will masturbation still be included in their "sex life"? certainly. Surveys show that nearly 80% of men and more than 60% of women still masturbate after marriage. So, if you happen to be in this category, don’t feel insecure or ashamed, you are not alone; when a person is satisfied with their sex life, there is no need to masturbate? of course not. A person with a harmonious sex life may still fall in love with "finger dance".

So, if your lover happens to be in this category, you don’t have to feel guilty or angry. Most of this exclusivity of sex has nothing to do with love.

Masturbation has been considered sinful and shameful for a long time. If you want to obtain pleasure, it seems that there should be a more legitimate behavior: sex to establish feelings with others. Therefore, even though people today have a tolerant attitude towards the masturbation of single young people, it is difficult to forgive those who still masturbate after marriage: You already have a sexual partner and have channels and ways to satisfy your body's desires, so why continue? Do this kind of thing?

Angry, sad, helpless, entangled, feeling that the other person is too lustful, does not love themselves, is selfish... This is the attitude that many people have when facing their partner's masturbation. The most essential reason why these negative attitudes and judgments appear is that people believe that masturbation after marriage reflects an unsatisfactory sex life and represents an emotional rift. How can he or she be calm?

If sexologists tell you that these are all fallacies, will you still be bothered by your partner’s masturbation?

If he loves me, he won’t masturbate?

“One time when my husband was taking a shower, I heard his moaning. I took a peek and saw that he was masturbating. I was very sad. If he needed it, wouldn’t I be there? Why should I solve it myself? ? I think he doesn’t want to have sex with me and doesn’t love me anymore.”

Similar complaints are often heard. The reason for this is that we think sex is shameful and must be given emotional connotations to appear "natural". In fact, sex in many cases is just physical desire, and it does not necessarily have to be resolved in a loving way.

As a result, masturbation usually has little to do with how much a couple loves each other. Of course, if one partner frequently refuses the other's sexual requests, or the two are emotionally distant, masturbation can reflect a lack of affection. But most of the time, masturbation is just another way to satisfy a physical hunger, and it won't eliminate the need for intimacy and sexual interaction—unless there are serious problems with your relationship itself.

TA’s voice:

Cui Yan, 28 years old, female

I have many requirements for sex, such as taking a bath, foreplay, and afterplay. The whole process takes two hours. Sometimes when desire comes and I have something to do, and I don’t want to cause too much trouble, I masturbate, which is both comfortable and efficient. This doesn't affect my sex life with my husband at all, and it doesn't mean I don't love him anymore. But I usually don’t let my husband know, for fear that he will have other ideas.

Da Jun, 32 years old, male

Some people say that with sex, men can say goodbye to masturbation, but this may not be the case. For men, masturbation is a great way to have sex. During sex, I take my wife's feelings into consideration very much and am too busy caressing her and taking care of her emotions that I can't concentrate on enjoying it. But when I masturbate, I can fully please myself, which feels good and I need it. Not only do you have to love your wife, you also have to love yourself, right?

Niu Niu, 26 years old, male

Once I was watching movies online, and suddenly I got the urge, so I started teasing my "little brother". My wife happened to come in and was very angry after seeing me, forcing me to answer whether I didn't love her anymore. Women are thoughtful. I think making love is quite troublesome. This kind of physical desire can be solved simply. It doesn't mean that I don't love my wife.

If he is satisfied with his sex life, he will not masturbate?

“For a man, nothing is more hurtful than catching his woman masturbating. I feel like I failed so much that I couldn’t meet her needs.”

“When I When I find my husband masturbating, I feel very sad. I must have dissatisfied him in bed. I am no longer attracted to him. I have failed so much as a wife.”

When I see my partner masturbating. , this idea is very common, but it is not the truth. Even if your sex life is great, sometimes your partner still wants to be alone with their body. He or she can indulge in private fantasies, or try actions that are difficult to do in the presence of others. This does not mean that your sex life is flawed, it just means that he or she wants a private sex period. If you can share masturbation with each other, it just means that your sex life is truly intimate and beautiful.

Also, sometimes we have to admit the fact that many women can achieve orgasm more easily through masturbation, which can make up for part of the pleasure she misses in sex—she also wants a pure physical orgasm occasionally.

TA's voice:

Xiao Ning, 29 years old, female

For me, the existence of masturbation is very important, it is my love and care for my body. I masturbate about once or twice a month without my husband knowing, and I don’t think it will affect our relationship because I still enjoy having sex with him. I need emotional integration, but I also want to be alone and feel my body quietly. Masturbation helps me understand my body and sexual feelings better, which is also great for improving the quality of sex with my husband.

Xiao Meng, 43 years old, female

At this age, my desire has surpassed that of my husband. The quality of our sex is very good, but the quantity is small. I take good care of his feelings in bed, integrating our body and mind. Maybe he knew I was masturbating and just didn't say anything about it. But I also want to say that masturbation does give the body good satisfaction, but it cannot replace a man’s attention and love.

Chen Gang, 28 years old, male

I usually masturbate once a week. My wife didn’t have that much need for sex and was very busy, so I had to take care of it myself. She knew and encouraged me to do this, saying that it was much better than cheating, and it would also relieve her psychological pressure.

Lin Zi, 37 years old, male

I like to masturbate, because then I can have wild fantasies, occasionally call out other people's names, and don't have to worry about someone extending an "iron palm" around me. This makes me feel relaxed. I often masturbate in the bathroom, imagining that there is a charming star taking a shower with me, and then... Married men need to masturbate more than unmarried men, because we need the stimulation of this fantasy. Masturbation will not affect the sex life of my wife and I. It is a space for myself to release.

Sex is normal "sex", but masturbation is not?

“I don’t understand, why do you need to masturbate to get pleasure? This method is unacceptable and feels quite disgusting.” Many people’s rejection of masturbation is due to primitive reasons. "Shame" and "guilt", feeling that masturbation is abnormal and vulgar behavior.

Quickly give up this "class discrimination" about sex. Masturbation and sexual intercourse are both ways of obtaining sexual pleasure, and no one is more advanced or legitimate than the other. What's more, we started masturbating before we learned to have sex - scientists have discovered that babies masturbate in their mother's belly, which shows that this is a primitive and natural human behavior, the same as eating and sleeping.

Besides, who knows your body best? Of course it is yourself, not others. To a certain extent, masturbation can bring people to orgasm more quickly than sex—which doesn’t mean sex is worse than masturbation, after all, it has more to offer.

So, it is normal to sometimes choose masturbation instead of sex, as long as both of you still have a happy sex life. For example, if sex is a delicious meal, masturbation is a quick and easy sandwich. You won’t want to eat a big meal every night, but occasionally you will want to make a sandwich. If someone says eating a sandwich, It’s immoral. You’ll probably laugh, right?

TA’s voice:

Hat, 34 years old, male

I’m sorry to say that masturbation is still a part of my sex life. Even if I have a great, regular sex life with my wife, I still find time to comfort my little brother by myself. I have been good friends with it since adolescence, and I don’t want to give up the opportunity to “communicate” with it alone. What can I say, sex and masturbation have different feelings, and I like them both. But my wife was a little hostile to this and thought it was awkward for me to do this, like a nymphomaniac.

Lazy Cat, 28 years old, female

No one knows better than me how to "burn" my body the fastest. Masturbating makes me feel relaxed and I can fully feel and tease my body without being shy or worried about anything.

Give sex a private space

If you conclude that masturbating is a cute guy, you may think it is too exaggerated. Well, at least, he's a normal guy and a wonderful part of the sexual experience.

It is a fallacy to think that sex must be done by two people at all times. Sex needs to be shared, but sometimes it needs to be private. It can even help you have better sex with your partner. Understand masturbation and understand your own body during masturbation. This will be more helpful for sex, or at least better guide your partner to caress your body.

Therefore, you may wish to allow your partners to have a private sexual space, as long as it does not affect the normal couple's life. As a sexologist said: "Let him do it and think about it in his own entertainment, because he will eventually come to me."