The birth of the baby puts the marriage in crisis

After Xiaofang and Xiaoyu (pseudonym), both born in the 1980s, got married, there was a period of marital disharmony. As early as three years ago when Xiaofang was pregnant, Xiaoyu felt that he was missing a lot of happiness. It was inconvenient for his wife to have sex while she was pregnant with the baby, so Xiaoyu had to accompany her for prenatal check-ups every three days. At that time, her friends of the same age were enjoying happy single lives. After the child was born, Xiaofang once focused on raising the child and ignored Xiaoyu. She even refused to go out with him to sing and watch movies, which was a program they often performed during their relationship. After reluctantly agreeing to go out, Xiaoyu's hair was messy and unkempt, which made Xiaoyu feel very embarrassed. As time went by, Xiaofang discovered that Xiaoyu was showing signs of cheating on her. The two began to quarrel and have a cold war, and their marriage was in crisis. Xinyu (pseudonym), a counselor who provides psychological services to Xiaofang, pointed out that they realize their own growth in marriage. When you are in love, you still don’t know and know yourself clearly, let alone what kind of spouse you need. With the birth of the child, all the mother's emotions are transferred to the child, and indifference becomes the crux of the relationship between both parties. Each other's negative emotions exaggerate each other, making the family atmosphere tense. The heavy parenting tasks and the gap in educational concepts have gradually highlighted the long-term conflicts accumulated in the marriage.

"Sexual fatigue" can easily lead to marital problems

Ms. Zhou, who has been married for four years, said frankly in her blog: "The first two years of marriage were the happiest time for us, and we could enjoy sex four or five times a week. Now, this sense of satisfaction has disappeared. The only two sex times a week are like "crossings". He no longer takes care of me as patiently as before, and I also start to have sex. We felt instinctively tired of him. We even skipped the thoughtful hugs afterwards, turned around and fell asleep. "Actually, when we meet someone like Ms. Zhou? There are not many women with this kind of problem, but few are willing to talk about it. Even to their husbands or lovers, they are too shy to talk about it. Professor Bai Yingtang, vice president of the Chinese Society of Traditional Chinese Medicine and Andrology and director of the Andrology Department of 411 Hospital, believes that sexual fatigue cannot be ruled out as two major factors: physiological illness and aging. However, many urbanites who suffer from sexual psychological fatigue are young and in good health. For them, the most important and powerful factor that inhibits sexual desire is the slowly accumulated psychological fatigue. This fatigue has a negative impact on male sexual desire. The devastation is more severe and lasting.

"Itchy" in marriage requires scientific "scratching"

Itchy on the body, we can use our hands to remove this uncomfortable. When there is an "itch" in marriage, we should also learn to "scratch" it scientifically. Medical experts say that the simplest and easiest way is for both husband and wife to communicate effectively and consciously and plannedly prepare themselves mentally before sex. You can choose a few activities that are easiest to make yourself physically and mentally relaxed, optimistic and cheerful, and invest enough time and energy. At this time, sexual psychological fatigue can escape. At the same time, divert the frustration in life, don’t let it invade your sexual life, and stay away from the “seven-year itch”!

Professor Zhu Rongshen, a sexual psychology expert at the Department of Psychology of Tongji University, believes that a woman’s behavior of neglecting her husband after childbirth is related to her joy of being a mother for the first time and the progesterone in her body. Her husband should communicate with her patiently and encourage her to eat a large amount of rich food every day. Vitamins and minerals from vegetables and fruits promote the production of sex hormones. Foods such as seafood, eggs, ginseng, bananas, and garlic are also helpful in fully enjoying sexual pleasure.

For sexually exhausted couples, you can play some romantic tricks. When two people are alone together, they can light candles and have dinner; or they can cover their legs with a blanket, watch the moon on the balcony, chat, and relive the tenderness of first love. Enjoying sex life in a casual way often makes you feel particularly relaxed, which can not only reduce stress but also enhance the intimacy between the two.