Name: Jiaqi Gender: Female Age: 29 years old Occupation: English translator Have you thought about it?

Would you secretly compare with your same-sex friends to see which of the two men is stronger? Do you feel that your situation is always worse than that of other women of your generation? Are you jealous of your girlfriend who is marrying better than you?

Help a friend catch the diamond man

I have a close friend, her name is Wen Yin, she is my college classmate and my best girlfriend.

I thought that our pure friendship could not be affected or destroyed by any external force, but I did not expect that marriage would be an obstacle between us. Frankly speaking, I was jealous of her. I didn't understand that I had such thoughts. I felt guilty about it, but there was no way to reduce my jealousy.

Here’s the thing: I’ve always been a very confident woman, very proud of the path I’ve chosen. I have never had anything bad happen to me since I was a child. My life has been smooth sailing. I got good grades in school and graduated smoothly. I quickly found a high-paying job. I met the ideal man. I got married and had children at the age of 25. I lived a happy life before I was 30. A house and a car, a high-quality life for the couple as white-collar workers.

Wen Yin has always been in my life, and our relationship is better than that of sisters. We go shopping together in our free time and look forward to our future life together. I stayed with her when she was lost, and we were both grateful to have this friendship. Even after I got married, my relationship with her remained unchanged. My husband still laughed that we were lovers in our previous lives, and we would be so stupid that we would make funny faces for him. I enjoyed our simple friendship and I genuinely liked her. Her character and condition are not inferior to mine, but her circumstances are not as good as mine. Several relationships in her early years ended in failure, and she is still single when she is almost 30.

She often visits my house and is envious of my warm life. I am more anxious about love matters than her parents. I live a good life and hope that I, a good friend, can find her happiness. I searched everywhere for her to find a good man. I introduced a few friends to her, but there was no spark. My heart has been calming for her, praying that her significant other will appear soon, so that we can be mothers together and raise our children together.

On a business trip, Wenyin met a diamond king on the plane. They had a crush on each other, but there were many outstanding women around this man. Wen Yin told me that she fell in love with him, but was afraid that she would not be able to catch him. Faced with such a rare opportunity, I was more nervous than she was and gave her a lot of useful ideas.

During those days when we were chasing the diamond man, we talked on the phone almost every day and exchanged information. I would give her practical advice as soon as possible, so that she could speed up her efforts to capture the man's heart. Three months later, Wenyin finally confirmed her relationship with the other party. She was very happy to say that "we succeeded", as if we were as close as twin sisters. 360 days later, the grand wedding was held in the most luxurious hotel. I was really happy for Wen Yin and shed more tears than her mother. She was finally able to get married before the age of 30, and she got married very gracefully. my wish.

Secretly comparing each other’s husbands

Wen Yin’s husband is a very wealthy entrepreneur. He is young, capable, has good character, is handsome, and is sincere. He is attractive to any woman at first glance. A man to fall in love with. While I was happy for her, I also secretly compared my husband with him. Ah, he is better than my husband in everything: in terms of family wealth, in terms of intelligence, in terms of character, in terms of demeanor, in terms of academic qualifications, in terms of future... For some reason, I began to feel that something was wrong. After we got married, Wenyin and I still dated me regularly as before. We still went shopping, drank tea and had dinner, but the places were upgraded to a higher level. In the past, we focused on looking for discounted clothes, but now Wenyin only buys the latest styles of the season; we used to go shopping in Hong Kong at the end of the year, but now Wenyin only goes to Paris for shopping; Wenyin also doesn’t go to the women’s club where we go to SPA together. Now, she can go to Japan to find a well-known hairdresser for a hairstyle.

All these changes have made me feel oppressive. My close friend who has been a sister to me for many years, and I even know her bra size and bra size, has now become a somewhat unreachable lady, visiting the most exclusive places and spending more than ten times as much as I do. I have always had a high self-esteem, but I originally felt that my life was quite good. The house on the Third Ring Road, the car worth more than 200,000 yuan, and my son was boarding in an aristocratic school... these were all enviable material conditions. But under the shadow of Wenyin, these things of mine are nothing.

I will quietly ask myself, I am better than her in everything, why is it that she is not the one who gets the best marriage? Why would the best be reserved for her? I hate myself for having such thoughts, but I just can't help but feel sad. I suddenly found that she is far away from me and is no longer my closest friend.

${FDPageBreak}

Imbalance creates inner demons

I felt vaguely unbalanced in my heart - she, who was originally more ordinary than me, suddenly climbed over me and became superior. What's even more frightening is that I actually started to hope that something unexpected would happen to her, such as that the marriage was actually unhappy, or that she was an infertile woman, or that her husband had changed his mind and started looking for other women like every rich man. Staying at home and crying every day...Ah, how could my heart come up with such vicious things? Isn't she my best friend? Is it because I'm jealous of the happiness she has? I felt terrible about myself.

The key is that Wen Yin’s husband has a very good relationship with her, there are no scandals, and their baby is about to be born. Since we are still very good friends, occasionally when our two families have dinner together, her husband’s world-famous brands are better-looking than my husband’s mass-market brands. As a result, I couldn't eat anything, got into an inexplicable mood, and almost made a fool of myself.

Although Wenyin has repeatedly told me how much she cherishes our friendship, I feel that our relationship is no longer what it used to be. She is a smart person, and may have noticed my inner changes, knowing that her marrying better than me has hurt our friendship. I don’t want to talk about the two-family life we ​​imagined together in the past. She always said that after her baby is born, we will have a wedding ceremony and I will be her baby's godmother. Frankly, I feel pressured to do this stuff anymore. I felt that I was inferior to her and that her children would be superior to mine.

Am I mentally ill for having such thoughts? I cherish our friendship very much, but I just don’t know how to deal with the imbalance in my heart.

Suhei Xingxing Therapy: Seize the happiness that already exists

Women have a very strange psychology. They like to compare. They cannot live in the present and be content with the status quo, and seize the happiness that already exists in front of them. He always feels insecure and has a lot of demands on the men around him. When he meets a man who is stronger than him, he will get angry and ask why his man is not as strong as others. He hopes to transform him and let him bring glory to himself. For women who are superior to themselves, they will have great jealousy. If they are not capable of being superior to the other party, they will have evil thoughts and hope that some kind of chance will completely change this situation.

Why are women more likely to be jealous than men? The main reason is that women are born with a high degree of crisis awareness and have been in the habit of feeling insecure for a long time. Even if they have considerable happiness at the moment, their worried nature will think about what they will do if they lose their happiness in the future. So I became unwilling to accept it and always wanted to be better and have more. When reality moves slower than she imagined, she will feel uneasy and have ups and downs of emotions, which activates her uneasy subconscious mind and makes her think of the most negative things. There is no practical action that can stop or prevent the misfortune she thinks. Before it happened, she could only use her mind to recite a spell, hoping to use her thoughts to change the bad luck she imagined, thus encouraging the birth of evil thoughts, hoping that the imaginary enemy would be defeated by her powerful thoughts and reduce her sense of crisis.

This is Jiaqi’s unexpected psychological reaction. Even though she and her good friend are emotionally close friends, the negative consciousness at the bottom of her psychology will emerge uncontrollably, destroying the original simple relationship. friendship.

This is the fault of negative thinking. The terrible thing about negative thinking is not that what you think will actually happen, but that it makes the thinker's emotions receive strong negative hints, often living in uneasiness and fear, and transforming negative consciousness into destructive and destructive energy. This will make you live an unhappy life, and secondly, it will erode your sanity and turn negative thoughts into habitual addictions, which will always hover in your brain and affect your personality. Everyone has hidden evil, which is also a trait of human nature. Only by cultivating spiritual quality can we transcend greed and jealousy.

The key to Jiaqi’s psychological imbalance is not that she really doesn’t live a happy and prosperous life, but that she is dissatisfied and greedy for material fame, wealth and status. People are better than dead people, there is always something better behind. Only those who are content can calm their hearts and live in happiness. Happiness is not something far away, but the result of being willing to let go of contentment.

What’s more, having a close friend in life is more important than getting material things. Jiaqi needs to adjust her mind, cultivate her character, improve her spiritual quality, and transfer her energy to a world other than the pursuit of material fame and fortune:

1. Focus on caring for children and family.

2. Spend less time alone with your besties, and instead spend time with other girlfriends, downplay the one-to-one comparison, and enjoy the pure joy of getting together with friends.

3. The best way to reduce your material desires is to do good deeds, such as participating in volunteer work and charity activities. Give full play to your strengths and help others equally, which can greatly reduce jealousy. You will feel that cherishing friendship is more valuable than provoking inner conflicts, and you will also gain inner balance in the process of helping others.

This article comes from adult.6kmall.com and is published by netizens. This site only quotes it for reference. It does not mean that this site agrees with the views of the article. If you believe that the content and intellectual property rights of this article infringe upon your interests, please contact us.