As the saying goes, a kind word warms you for three winters, but a bad word hurts you for six months. This is true in interpersonal interactions in society, and it is also true in relationships among family members. Unfortunately, in real life, many couples still have some incorrect views on language communication. Living in misunderstandings.

One of the misunderstandings: Since you are married and you are a family, you don’t need to be cautious when speaking.

When they are in love, they pay great attention to their language expression, including vocal and silent, tangible and intangible. They always "think about speaking" when speaking, for fear that their words will not be used appropriately. The other person is unhappy. "Think about speaking" means that you can speak whatever makes the other person happy. It can be said that sweet love is achieved through conscious restrictions on one's own words and actions. Without restrictions, there would be no love and no sweetness.

However, after getting married, they think that they are done and it’s time to breathe a sigh of relief. They no longer pay attention to art and skills in speaking, but become laissez-faire and have no taboos. For example, when they are in love, they say: "Honey, please close the door?" But after getting married, they say "Hey, close the door!" It is very "succinct", unwilling to say a word more, and with a command. An unpleasant tone.

In this way, the original sweetness of love gives way to unpleasant information stimulation, and family conflicts and marital cracks naturally arise. If it is not adjusted and corrected in time, the marriage will develop in a worse direction until divorce.

A large number of facts show that not paying attention to the art of verbal communication after marriage and not creating forms of verbal communication are one of the extremely important reasons why most family members have misunderstandings, conflicts, and even antagonism.

Misunderstanding No. 2: Marriage is just about two people spending time together. There is nothing to communicate. Talking too much is a waste of time.

They believe that after getting married, the relationship between the two parties is already strong, and they no longer need to spend too much time talking about love and exchanging ideas. In fact, the relationship between husband and wife is not fixed, but constantly changing. Because any emotion is the product of time and specific conditions, there is no eternal emotion. Only by constantly creating new content and new forms of emotional life between husband and wife can the tree of love be kept evergreen. Love exists in the constant creative activity of both parties. With creation, there will be love; without creation, love will wither and die. Language communication is the important content and form of creation.

Without communication between husband and wife, there is no understanding, and without understanding, there is no consensus, and it is even harder to have mutual loyalty and support. The so-called "lasting forever" will be difficult to achieve. When you get home, you talk less or not at all. The couple just eats and sleeps together. How can a married life like this be of high quality? How could it not be boring?

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Misunderstanding No. 3: Language communication between husband and wife is limited to talking about family matters, not work matters.

They believe that communication between husband and wife should be between husband and wife and family matters, and should not talk about matters outside the family. They feel that it is unnecessary to talk to the other party about their own company's affairs, and it might cause trouble. The other party does not work in his own unit, so he does not understand the situation in his own unit. It is not easy to explain something clearly to the other party, so it is better not to say it. They should do their own business and not interfere with each other. Do not talk about family matters at work and do not talk about work matters at home. The boundaries are clear.

This view seems reasonable, but if you analyze it carefully, you will find that this is wrong. When we love a person, we love his personality, wisdom, talents, etc. Without a comprehensive understanding, how can there be comprehensive love?

Talk to each other about things in the unit, talk about your own views on these things, and exchange work experiences. This in itself is a kind of learning, a kind of discussion, and a kind of improvement. If you have happy things, tell them and share them together; if you have unhappy things, ask the other person for help and guidance, express your heartfelt feelings, and reduce stress and worries. This is a reflection of mutual support and mutual trust between husband and wife.

Myth No. 4: There are no scruples between husband and wife. They can talk about anything, and the more, the better.

Logically speaking, there is really no scruples between husband and wife, and they should be able to talk about anything. Because, since you sincerely love each other, you should understand the reality and say what you have to say without hesitation or hesitation.

However, if this is the case, it is not possible. Because speaking unfounded words indiscriminately, or saying unreasonable things indiscriminately will cast a heavy shadow on "love". So, how to grasp its scale and sense of proportion?

First, you can’t chatter endlessly, repeating it over and over again, from morning till night. As the saying goes, words spoken three times are like straw. This means that if words are repeated too much, they will lose value. Nagging incessantly is causing noise interference to the other person and destroying the other person's living environment and psychological peace. If the other party ignores you, you will be unhappy and it will affect your mood; if the other party ignores you, it is a waste of time and you will naturally become annoyed day after day.

The second is not to say too many exciting words. Even if the other party has made some mistakes, don't dwell on them and keep talking. There should be more encouragement and less criticism between husband and wife; more tolerance and less stubbornness.

Third, don’t reveal the other person’s privacy at will, and don’t deliberately touch the other person’s pain points. Everyone has their own weaknesses and their own dignity. Only by understanding and respecting each other can love last.

Fourth, don’t make random suspicions, and don’t say unfounded words. Some people become jealous when they see their lover walking with another person of the opposite sex, and even have endless quarrels with the other person. These unfounded words will make the other party feel wronged and angry. A considerable part of the conflicts between husband and wife are due to this reason. Since we are husband and wife, why can't we have more trust and less suspicion?

Fifth, don’t make random wishes and boast. Promises that cannot be fulfilled will make the other party disappointed, disgusted, and feel that you are lying to him or fooling him.

Sixth, don’t use foul language or make fun of the other person’s personality.

I hope this article can help all couples who have gone into misunderstandings to re-establish a correct understanding, and hope that all couples can benefit from the communication.

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