Extramarital affairs are against traditional moral concepts and social ethics. It is extremely harmful to individuals, families and society. It is a very troublesome problem. So what causes extramarital affairs?

After years of analyzing cases of extramarital affairs in China, the conclusions drawn show that the main reasons for the formation of extramarital affairs are as follows:

1. Life is lonely and monotonous. If married life makes people feel disappointed and unsatisfied, many people will look for other ways or stimulation to achieve psychological satisfaction and balance. For example, married life makes people feel lonely and boring, and the couple lacks intimacy and cannot bring joy to each other. At this time, a third party or extramarital affair may take advantage of the situation. Especially for couples who have been separated in two places for a long time, when they see other couples who are in love and sweet, they will inevitably feel lost and unbalanced, so it is easy to look for other "gentle places".

Another situation is that married life is too monotonous and lacks new ideas. It is the same things and the same lifestyle every day. At this time, the relationship easily becomes dull and boring, and life has little fun. In this case, it is easier for the novelty and excitement of extramarital affairs to stand out, capture people's hearts, and make them unable to extricate themselves from it.

2. Emotional discord. The relationship between husband and wife is the foundation of marriage. If there is emotional discord between husband and wife, it will easily lead to various problems in the marriage. If there is a long-term lack of communication between couples and emotional discord, then they will easily accept other temptations or look for other emotional solace in order to seek emotional compensation.

3. Some couples who have different interests are originally very good emotionally, but as time goes by, they find that they have no common interests. For example, the wife likes to dance, but the husband only likes to play cards; the husband likes literature and art, but the wife is interested in fashion trends. Single love; the wife has lofty ideals, but the husband is content with the status quo; the husband works hard, but the wife is not enterprising. These differences in interests, hobbies, and ambitions make the two people increasingly have no common language, and their steps are seriously inconsistent. If you meet a "bosom friend" outside at this time, it will easily lead you to fall into an extramarital affair.

4. Disharmonious sexual life. This is also one of the main reasons for extramarital affairs. If a marriage does not have a harmonious sex life, it is impossible to maintain it. No matter how good the relationship between the two parties is, how many people can live a "Platonic" love life throughout their lives? At this time, extramarital affairs seem inevitable.

5. Like the new and hate the old. Some people are very difficult to characterize, especially when it comes to emotional issues. It is easy to fall in love with one person and not know who they love in the end. If this happens before marriage, there may be nothing wrong with it, but once you get married, you have to be responsible for your lover and family. This kind of thinking of loving the new and hating the old, coupled with the unsatisfactory life after marriage, will change even if the person you marry is your "favorite person".

Because most of the shortcomings of an old lover are highlighted, while most of the advantages of a new lover are highlighted. If you compare the advantages of others with the shortcomings of your lover, your lover will of course be much inferior, and extramarital affairs are inevitable. .

6. Negative influence of the media. Many movies, TV dramas, books, etc. have reflected the phenomenon of extramarital affairs, but the focus of their descriptions is not necessarily all the negative effects of extramarital affairs, or they may exaggerate the phenomenon of extramarital affairs of celebrities to make people think it is strange. In their own lives, Also copied, causing many family and marriage problems.

After recognizing the above-mentioned causes of extramarital affairs, let’s take a look at the dangers of extramarital affairs. First, it endangers one's own physical and mental health, causing serious mental stress and unresolved troubles to oneself. The second is endangering the physical and mental health of the family. Extramarital affairs can cause extremely serious psychological trauma to lovers and children. The third is harm to society. Extramarital affairs lead to many conflicts and even create many social problems and increase the crime rate.

Therefore, facing up to the problem of extramarital affairs is what everyone in society and every family should do. To maintain harmony and happiness in the family, one must put the other party as the center, consider the other party in everything, strengthen communication and understanding with the other party, make life interesting, and allow both husband and wife to be satisfied and find balance in the marriage. In this way, It can effectively relieve the psychological barriers of both parties and avoid the occurrence of extramarital affairs.

In addition, the whole society should vigorously promote the normal order of marriage, condemn extramarital affairs, and crack down on this unhealthy trend, so that the parties involved realize the wrongness of extramarital affairs and feel guilty, so that extramarital affairs will have no place to breed and grow.

What should women who have extramarital affairs do?

In less than two years, Li Mei (pseudonym) changed from a woman who was envied by everyone to a pitiful woman who abandoned her husband and son and was abandoned by her lover. Now, Li Mei regrets her extramarital affair. So if she could turn back time, could she avoid such a mistake? Li Mei shook her head blankly, "I don't know!"

Once a happy family

In the past, relatives and friends around her envied Li Mei for having a good husband, Wei Peng (pseudonym), who took good care of Li Mei when he worked in a government agency.

Li Mei doesn't like cooking, so Wei Peng rushes home to cook as soon as he gets off work every day. When Li Mei returned home, Wei Peng had already put the food on the table. After being married for more than 10 years, Li Mei cooks only a handful of times. Her hands are white, tender and smooth, almost comparable to those of hand models.

When they first got married, their income was meager. After having a son, their finances became even tighter. In order to provide a better life for his wife and children, Wei Peng has been using part-time jobs in his spare time to supplement his expenses.

Although his life is not rich, Wei Peng himself is reluctant to buy a pair of socks for 5 yuan, but he does not frown when he buys his wife a piece of clothing worth more than 1,000 yuan.

On the way to get off work, whenever he saw something delicious, Wei Peng would buy some for his wife and children. Seeing them eating happily, Wei Peng felt very satisfied, "Having such a beautiful wife and smart son makes it worth the trouble."

Lover's wife knocks on the door

The beauty in Wei Peng's eyes was shattered on a weekend afternoon in 2002. At that time, a middle-aged woman broke into the home with three men. While calling Li Mei "shameless", she started punching and kicking her. Wei Peng hurriedly stepped forward to dissuade him, and Li Mei took the opportunity to sneak into the bedroom. The middle-aged woman slammed a stack of photos onto the coffee table.

The photos were all of the intimate scenes between his wife and a middle-aged man. Wei Peng was stunned at the time, but the middle-aged woman refused to let him go and threatened to give Li Mei some sex.

Afraid that his wife would be hurt, Wei Peng knelt down in a hurry and said, "Sister, I don't know anything about this matter. Please give me some face and let me ask you questions clearly before I give you an answer." Only after Wei Peng's pleading did the middle-aged woman leave with the others.

Li Mei opened the door and knelt in front of Wei Peng before he could speak, "I'm sorry for you, let's get a divorce." When the doubts in his heart were confirmed by his wife, Wei Peng sat motionless on the sofa all night, "Why was it that I was so good to her, but all I got was her betrayal?"

Office romance is out of control

When Li Mei's extramarital affair was discovered, it had been going on for three years. Li Mei couldn't explain exactly how this extramarital affair started. Everything seemed to go as it should.

Because she doesn't have to do housework, Li Mei always stays up late in the office; her boss stays in the office and doesn't want to go home because of her husband's discord.

Once after get off work, Li Mei passed by her boss's office and saw him sighing alone. It turned out that the boss had just had a quarrel with his wife the day before, and when he saw Li Mei, he expressed his bitterness. Li Mei felt sad in her heart, "Such a talented person, but so pitiful."

After gaining sympathy, Li Mei began to take the initiative to care for her boss, giving him advice to resolve family disputes, acting as a consultant when he bought clothes, and taking care of his sick mother on his behalf...

About half a year later, on Li Mei's birthday, her boss unexpectedly gave her a gold necklace. Then, the two had sex in the office.

Afterwards, Li Mei often compared her boss and her husband, feeling that her boss was "talented and good at living", while her husband was "too boring."

The marriage changed again after half a year

In early 2003, Li Mei and Wei Peng divorced. A few months later, the boss also went through the divorce procedures, and then he and Li Mei got married in a flash.

Less than two months after getting married, Li Mei discovered that life was not as good as she had imagined. Her husband didn't do any housework. Li Mei was sweating profusely in the kitchen after get off work, but he was holding a tea cup and reading the newspaper as if he were in the office.

Four months into their marriage, Li Mei suddenly discovered that her husband was still in contact with his ex-wife. Moreover, when he received a call that his son was sick, he would rush out of the house immediately, without even bothering to change his shoes.

Li Mei felt even more aggrieved when she thought that her husband was also very demanding about money and never gave her a penny after they got married. As a result, within half a year, Li Mei divorced again.

After the divorce, Li Mei found Wei Peng in the name of taking care of her children, and knelt down again, hoping that her ex-husband could forgive her. After Wei Peng got divorced, he lost confidence in women.

Looking at his tearful wife, Wei Peng felt nothing but heartache, "I will never forget my wife's joy when she knew I agreed to the divorce."

Expert: Think before you act

Li Aiping, a marriage expert at Guibo Daweiqing Consulting Company, said that in real life, most people still only focus on men’s extramarital affairs, but now there are not a few women who cheat, and the proportion of cheating women in Kochi is higher. Once a woman has an extramarital affair, it is difficult to go back, and the rate of family breakdown is very high. At the same time, many people feel unhappy after marrying their extramarital affair partner, and even miss their original married life.

Li Mei had an extramarital affair with her boss. Li Aiping believed that this was not Li Mei's responsibility alone, but Wei Peng was also responsible. His failure is that he spends his free time making extra money and thinks that giving his wife a good material life is to treat her well. But in the eyes of his wife, all this he did was not as warm as the two of them going for a walk together after dinner.

For some women, entering into an extramarital affair can seem overwhelming. But Li Aiping believes that extramarital affairs are not inevitable. Li Mei's sympathy for her boss is a dangerous signal. If she could stop in time and avoid further contact with her boss, subsequent love affairs would not happen. When Li Mei helped her boss buy clothes and took care of his sick mother, she unconsciously played the role of his wife. These actions also aroused her boss's affection for Li Mei and pushed the extramarital affair one step further. The boss gave Li Mei a birthday gift, which undoubtedly pushed the relationship between the two to the cliff.

When women are troubled by extramarital affairs, the only thing they think about is divorce. Li Aiping warned these women, "Many women understand when they first fall in love that love and marriage cannot be completely equated. When having an extramarital affair, women should consider more issues, such as what to do with the children in the future, and whether they can resolve the problems of the other person's family. Hostility, whether you can tolerate the other person's concern for the original child... these small issues may not seem worth mentioning, but they have huge power to break up a marriage again."