An exploration of women’s “sexual terror” psychology

15 Views 27/05/2024 0 comments Posted By: Eric King In: sexual psychology

Women's "Sexual Terror" Psychology

There are differences in psychopathology among female patients with sexual phobia. Faced with different mentalities of sexual fear, they either adopt a destructive avoidance mode or adopt a constructive and positive adaptation. manner. Research on phobia patients shows that phobic disorders have a familial tendency, but there are no special obvious trauma or family discord problems. These patients generally have poor physical constitution and fragile personalities, and their parents' attitude towards them since childhood directly affects the development of their phobia and the results of their treatment.

Usually, the parents of these patients have the following three attitudes towards the anxiety they have shown since childhood: First, they refuse to comfort their children and require them to overcome the psychological barriers of anxiety alone; Second, they are over-protective and try not to let their children suffer as much as possible Children experience setbacks; 3. A constructive realist attitude. The three different attitudes held by their parents resulted in three different mentalities towards sexual phobia when they grew up.

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Women’s “sexual fear” mentality

When the lights turn on again

Miss Wen was drowsy, and the bedside lamp turned on. Even though the light was dim, even though she didn't open her eyes, she knew the light was on. The husband put his hands under her neck, put his arms around her body and began to kiss her. Miss Wen closed her eyes tightly, her heartbeat quickened, and all the muscles in her body became tense. She knew that what she feared was about to happen again. When she was newly married, Ms. Wen once asked her husband why he liked to have sex with the light on. The husband said lovingly, "Because I want to see you." After hearing this, she frowned and said, "I'm so thin, what's so good about me?" The husband said, "What's wrong with being thin? I like it." Miss Wen After being silent for a long time, she finally said something that puzzled her husband: "Actually, you don't have to be so nice to me."

In the next two years, Ms. Wen has been fearful of sexual activities. Every time she had sex, she was highly nervous and anxious, adopting a completely passive and uncooperative attitude. There was only one thought in her mind, hoping that things would end as soon as possible. The husband who loves Miss Wen deeply is puzzled and does not understand why his wife has such an attitude towards him. "I don't know why, but she is so scared every time I prepare to have sex?" Ms. Wen's husband said to the doctor. The doctor asked to talk to Miss Wen.

“My husband always likes to have sex with the light on, which always reminds me of an incident from my childhood. Although this incident has nothing to do with the couple’s affairs, I always think of it. "Miss Wen said slowly to the doctor. "When I was a child, I was very thin, had a bad personality, was timid, and had poor independence. My parents were dissatisfied with me. They decided to let me sleep in a room alone. I was very scared and asked them to let me turn on the light. I wanted to sleep, but my mother wouldn’t allow it and always turned off the light without explanation.

One night, a cat kept barking outside my window. I was so scared that I started crying. The light in my room turned on, and my mother appeared in front of my bed. She bent down. I thought she would hug me tightly, but unexpectedly, my mother said with a look of disdain: "Why are you crying? It's a cat." I can scare you like this, you are really worthless, and you said you want to be a member of the People's Liberation Army. Stop crying, go to sleep. After that, my mother turned off the light and left. I have never hugged me. Now that I have grown up, I still feel that I am very thin and have a bad personality. I don’t understand what my husband likes about me. Especially... why does he like my body?”

Miss Wen’s unnecessary inferiority complex led to her sexual tragedy. Every time before having sex, Miss Wen first deliberately destroyed her emotions. She believed that her husband would find no pleasure in having sex with someone like her. And I don’t think it’s interesting either. However, sex life still has to be carried out after all, which makes Ms. Wen anxious and fearful. Her parents' dissatisfaction with Miss Wen caused her to subconsciously deny herself, so she subconsciously refused to accept her husband's approval. Her parents' premature alienation from her in terms of physical contact since she was a child has made her fearful of her husband's sexual intimacy and adopted an avoidant attitude as an adult.

This kind of person has been criticized by his parents since childhood. Being forced to face and overcome anxiety alone without receiving care and sympathy makes some children who are already prone to anxiety and terror feel that they are disgusting to their families since they were young, and are not recognized by family members. When they grow up, they often May develop into an adult with self-hatred. When faced with sexual fear, they always adopt a negative attitude, refuse to accept help, and believe that they have no right to enjoy sex. They often refuse to cooperate with their spouses and are unwilling to actively improve various bad sexual relationships. They have a destructive avoidance attitude towards sexual activities.