Early childhood education made me hate sex

I am a girl who grew up in a conservative, rigid family. Regarding the opposite sex, the education I received since childhood was extremely conservative. My honest peasant parents always warned me sternly over and over again: "Don't associate with boys, otherwise if something happens, you will be the one who suffers and is embarrassed." In my ignorant heart, I believed that boys are dangerous elements. The terrifying scenes of women giving birth in TV dramas only intensified my fear after coming into contact with boys. Almost since junior high school, I have always withdrawn and distanced myself from boys, and I almost never talked to boys. After graduating from high school, many female classmates in the class who fell in love early failed to get into the exams, but I got the admission notice from a key university. After entering college, faced with the love wave on campus, I still buried myself in books and ignored what was going on outside the window. But the trees want to be quiet but the wind is not stopping. My outstanding beauty still makes me the focus of boys' pursuit. I ignored all suitors. My goal is to get into graduate school. Once, a boy from the Department of Information took the opportunity to take a public class in the big classroom and stuffed a small gift into my schoolbag. Inside was a string of wind chimes and a love letter that was dozens of pages long, "...you stand In front of the teaching building, you stretched your arms like a royal princess taking a bath, so charming and charming that I couldn't help but want to hug you and kiss you... I love your soul, and I love you even more..." This explicit confession made me sad. I was furious, deeply humiliated, and handed the letter to the department office, which caused a minor disturbance. From then on, no boy dared to approach me again. My college life was spent in an atmosphere far away from the opposite sex.

If you don’t understand sex, your marriage will be in crisis

The wind is the first man to enter the depths of my heart. When I married Feng, he graduated with a bachelor's degree and was working in a foreign company, and I was studying for a master's degree. We met at a speaking class. He said that my pure and simple appearance was like an orchid in an empty valley, which made people pity me. Feng is from Beijing, and his mature urban temperament attracted me. After knowing each other for three months, we got married. On the wedding night, Feng said with a bad smile: "Do you know why I want to get married quickly? Because you always reject my 'violence'. The biggest advantage of getting married is that it legalizes my sex with you. This is the law Give me and you the rights and obligations, and see how you reject me?" I scolded him as a "scumbag, a big pervert", while my heart beat. Before the wind, my world was filled with books and laboratories, and I really knew nothing about men. Seeing my whole body shaking and nervous, Feng said with a smile: "I started watching porn movies when I was 15 years old. I don't mind if it's your first time. Tell me, do you really have no experience? At least you should have done it." Menstrual hygiene class, right? What time is it now? Why do you look like a young lady who never went to the embroidery building in ancient times?”

In my memory, in the county-level middle school in my hometown, all the physiological and hygiene classes were taken up by the head teacher to teach mathematics. The limited knowledge I have about the opposite sex was all gained from my roommates in the university dormitory. Maybe, in the field of sex, my level and Feng's level are not as simple as a master's degree and a bachelor's degree. They may be very different. Thinking like this, my body became even more rigid and tense, no matter how the wind guided me, it was of no avail. That wedding night was terrible. My pain and low self-esteem, Feng's accusation and frustration, deepened my fear of sex, not only physically, but also spiritually. During our honeymoon, sex became a focal point between us. Although I slowly entered the state under Feng's earnest temptation, Feng's desire was very strong and he had more than one demand almost every night, which I couldn't accept. It's often the wind whistling on the bed that makes me go back to the bedroom from the study. During sex, I always keep urging over and over again: "Are you done? Hurry up, I don't feel good!" Feng often gives up halfway, gets angry at me, and says I'm a spoiler of fun. Sometimes, I couldn't bear to see him frustrated when he was rejected, so I forced myself to cater to him, and the wind complained that I was like a piece of wood. I replied angrily: "I am a dignified person. Is the essence of love to make women so low that they only satisfy men's animal desires?" I said "unreasonable" in a rage, walked away, and stayed in the bar for a long time. Go home late.

After my wedding leave, I worked on a relatively large project with my mentor. I was exhausted from working in the laboratory during the day. When I got home at night, I felt even less "sexy" and just wanted to sleep well. The desire and request for the wind are either avoided in every possible way, or dealt with as a routine matter. At that time, I thought that sex was insignificant in marriage, and that a happy marriage relied on the integration of souls. I didn't realize the seriousness of the problem and I didn't try to change it. Feng's distress is written on his face and expressed in his actions. He was obsessed with QQ and chatted online every day. Whenever I accused him, he would say, "You don't satisfy me. I'm addicted to the Internet. I'm not looking for a lover. I'm not looking for a lover." Escort. What do you want from me?"

But things are not that simple. One night in the middle of the night, I got up to go to the bathroom and found a small light on in the study. I quietly walked in, and Feng was wearing a headset and microphone to video chat with a woman on QQ. Feng was completely naked, breathing heavily, and he was obviously intoxicated. The woman on the screen was exposing her plump breasts and smiling seductively. I stood behind Feng for less than ten seconds. The woman obviously spotted me from the video and typed a line on the screen: There is someone behind you! Then the video turned off. The wind turned around and found me. He opened his mouth in shock, like a poor child caught stealing candy. My heart suddenly clenched in pain. I squatted in front of Feng’s knees, hugged his legs and cried. I hate myself that within less than a year of marriage, I actually forced my new husband to seek vain solace on the Internet! Since childhood, I have been a child who refuses to admit defeat and has a stubborn personality. A thought suddenly appeared at that moment: Whether it is for the man I love or to maintain my marriage, I must practice sex well. I want to get 100 points! Is my beautiful face destined to be just a piece of wood and not be able to be a "liberal flower" for sex?

Sex makes me feel that life is beautiful

Thank you for this era of tolerance and openness. When I came out of the boring laboratory and searched in real life, I found that there were so many magazines and newspapers about sex, and they were rich in content. Those avant-garde and fashionable forums on gender topics deeply shocked me, who had lived in the ivory tower for a long time. Especially when I browsed some foreign healthy sexual knowledge websites and read a large number of classic works on gender at home and abroad, those rich and new concepts opened a door for me like enlightenment, and I discovered how different my own concepts were. Narrow, deep in the body, a woman's innate sexual consciousness gradually awakens. It turns out that sex is not obscene, it is beautiful and pure; sex is not only a means of procreation, but also the most beautiful way to express love; women not only have a subordinate position in sex, but can also be the protagonist; in a perfect marriage, the soul Both physical love and physical pleasure are indispensable. I finally understood: It is good for people who love each other to be able to love each other to the extreme and to death emotionally, but at the same time, it is rare to be able to transform this emotion into concrete and real sex.

I took the initiative to have a frank communication with Feng and admitted that my previous ideas were outdated. Feng also admitted that he went to QQ to chat because he was ill and sought medical treatment. He said that he loves me and is willing to guide me to slowly climb the peak of sex. He will never be too hasty and criticize me like before. From then on, I began my journey of exploration of sex. Heaven and hell are often only one step away. The new concepts guided me through the dark tunnel and guided my practice, which produced immediate results.

Once, I read in a magazine that the human back has very rich nerve endings and is extremely sensitive. I was determined to try. In those days, there were a lot of things going on in the laboratory, and I came back very late. After taking a bath, looking at Feng reading under the lamp, I had an idea. I said coquettishly: "My dear, please massage my back!" I turned over and lay on the bed, and the wind blew those warm and powerful breasts. His big hands gently placed on my back, along my spine, and patted gently from top to bottom, with even and gentle force. My tired body and mind gradually stretched and relaxed. The strong reaction of the body and the uncontrollable shouting gave Feng a clear signal, and the next thing fell into place. My fatigue disappeared and we found a "mysterious area".

One weekend, I woke up naturally and heard the sound of cooking in the kitchen. Wearing a short A-line nightgown, I tiptoed behind Feng. He was squatting in the kitchen choosing vegetables. Maybe he was too focused and didn't notice me at all. I suddenly lifted up his clothes, lay on his back, pressed my soft breasts against his strong back, and kissed the back of his neck. He raised a handful of green coriander and patted me without looking back, and said to me: "Lazy cat, go away. If the trouble continues, you must be responsible." I ignored him and moved my hand to his The waist was swimming around like a little snake, and he could no longer restrain himself... As a result, this "sex meal" satisfied us more than any delicious food. This kind of sudden accident happens from time to time, which is more exciting than sex according to the scheduled procedure. Successful practices inspired me again and again, and the feeling of ecstasy that stirred my mind was like a poppy, tempting me. I am like a sponge, constantly and greedily learning about sex, absorbing, summarizing and exploring. I also learned many novel postures, and I renovated and changed them every time, and the effect was amazing.

Perfect sex nourishes me, makes my face more beautiful, my figure more graceful, and my whole person glows with a strong femininity. Feng praised me exaggeratedly: "My wife is so charming!" It turns out that sex is such a beautiful thing, and men are such perceptual animals that are easily satisfied. I know very well that sex is a vast sea, and I am just a child playing on the beach, and I was lucky enough to pick up a few shells. According to reports, a well-known survey company conducted a questionnaire survey on the reasons for divorce among 10,000 couples in the five major cities of Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou, Wuhan, and Xi'an. The results showed that about 70% of couples divorced due to disharmony in their sexual lives. It is true. Shocking! Once upon a time, sex, a word that Chinese women were ashamed to speak, actually became the number one killer of marriage! Looking back on my painful journey of sex, I have a kind of fear that will last the rest of my life - on the road of sex, if I did not move from darkness to light, not only will I lose the most beautiful enjoyment in life, but it may also harm my marriage. What will it be like? Huge regret! Sex is a profound science. I hope that women all over the world will practice this lesson well. What man wouldn’t like a woman who has the power to control the sexual world? A good sex life will make him love you more and your marriage will last longer.

Expert comments: For people, sexual activities are affected and controlled by both physiological and psychological factors. Sex hormones can stimulate people's desires and initiate sexual pursuits. Therefore, after adulthood, on the basis of sexual development, we will all look for our partners, think about getting married, having children, and spreading our lives. However, for each individual, how to satisfy desires will be restricted by psychological factors. Comparing appetite, hunger prompts us to seek food, but different people like different foods. One person's favorite delicacy may be another person's unpalatable "junk". The story of this couple fully illustrates the impact of sexual psychology on sexual life.

At the beginning of her marriage, influenced by her cultural upbringing, she held an indifferent attitude towards sex. And because in the sexual life after marriage, the personal experience is uncomfortable, even stressful, painful, and it is a task that has to be completed, she also has a relatively negative attitude towards sex, which directly affects the quality of the couple's sexual life, and also Threats to the couple's emotional relationship. For this wife, the physiological structure and function are completely normal, but her psychological indifference and negative attitude towards sex hinders her from enjoying the joy and happiness she should have.

It is also psychological factors that prompt the problem to be changed. When she discovered that her husband was having sex online, she did not, like some wives, refuse to accept or even hate her husband, thus starting a cold war or a hot war. Instead, driven by the special psychological feeling of love, she accepted her husband The mind is deviant, and they begin to reflect on their own shortcomings, realize the importance of sex life to family and marriage, and improve the relationship between husband and wife with practical attitudes and behaviors. In fact, the method to solve the problem is not complicated. In summary, it consists of three aspects: changing attitude, learning knowledge, and taking positive actions. Changing attitude is the key.

In social culture, attitudes towards sex can be simply divided into two ends of a continuum: one is affirmative and the other is negative. Through reading, she realized the naturalness and beauty of sexual desire and sexual behavior, moving from denial to affirmation, laying the foundation for enjoying happiness. The attitude of actively trying and learning instead of passively waiting and resisting is also the key psychological factor for her to have a wonderful sexual experience. By trying different ways and places of sex and establishing a harmonious sex life pattern, happy marriages no longer exist only in fairy tales, but become a reality.

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