There is no specific standard for loving or not loving, and there is no specific time. You just need to understand whether you want to establish a romantic relationship with the other person. Because even if you know that the other person loves you, it's just a shot in the arm; if you know that the other person doesn't love you, wouldn't it be even more disappointing?

We often encounter many similar requests for help. The frequency of some problems even exceeds the speed of our heartbeat. In order to allow everyone to be their own emotional doctor when they need it most, I only list some frequencies. A relatively high level question for your reference. This is just a chat, the purpose is just to hope that everyone can find the most effective method that suits them.

1. I am very sad now, almost dying of pain, how can I not be sad.

I am almost heartbroken and in pain because you are already the 1007th person to ask me the same question, but out of politeness, I still answer you. Whenever there is a loss in life, we will be sad. People who are normally sad may just cry, but those who can't cry will feel even more sad. But there is no cure for sadness, because sadness is not a disease at all. As long as you know, sad things must happen to people's existence. Only sadness can make us grow faster. If you are sad, congratulations, you are in the growing stage, cry as much as you want, time will be your best friend. When you are happy, you have to think that this happiness is not eternal. When you are in pain, you have to think that the pain is not eternal

2. I feel that this world is very dangerous and there is no sense of security.

Almost no one in this world has a complete sense of security. Even Obama, who has dozens or hundreds of bodyguards waiting on him day and night, is also insecure about his status as president. Sometimes, a lack of sense of security is not entirely a bad thing. An appropriate sense of crisis can actually give you a clearer judgment. Moreover, being in conflict is the source of uneasiness. Don't make yourself so embarrassed, which is the best way to ensure a sense of security.

3. Why do others seem so perfect, but I always have regrets.

This is a wandering world, and wandering is regret. Without regrets, no matter how perfect you are, you will not feel happy. If you always think that today is so imperfect and tomorrow there are so many regrets, then, in fact, by the time you think you have reached perfection, you have already created the biggest regret - you have lost yourself.

4. Please tell me, how can I know whether the other person loves me or not.

There are no specific standards for loving or not loving, and there is no specific time. You just need to understand whether you want to establish a romantic relationship with the other person. Because even if you know that the other person loves you, it's just a shot in the arm; if you know that the other person doesn't love you, wouldn't it be even more disappointing? Two people being together is a kind of fate and a need. If love exceeds need, it can only be nonsense, but if need exceeds love, then everything is still possible. Therefore, instead of knowing whether the other person loves you or not, it is better to let the other person need you.

5. Why do I treat him so well, but he treats me like that?

It is not so much that others make you suffer, but that your own cultivation is not enough. Moreover, not all love can be given equally. If from the beginning you want to receive equal or even more love from the other person while giving yourself, your disappointment rate will be close to 80%. Any kind of love plus reciprocation is not love but charity, because you are already prepared for the other party to give you charity. Only when you don't have to worry about calculation can you love happily.

6. He doesn’t love me anymore, how can I get him back?

There are many reasons why I don’t love you. Maybe it’s because I’m tired of loving you, maybe it’s because I’m hurt by love, maybe I don’t love you at all, maybe it’s because I want to give you better happiness. Therefore, don't rush to do some forced actions, analyze your own reasons first, and then decide whether to recover. But I have to remind you that a broken love is like a piece of porcelain broken on the ground. Even if it is put together, there will still be cracks. Do you care?

7. I am lovelorn, please. Help.

I can only tell you: You can have love, but don’t be persistent, because separation is inevitable. Today’s persistence will cause tomorrow’s regrets. Believe in life and time. If time can take away everything, let it take it away. What cannot be taken away will naturally take root in your heart. There is no need to force it or feel guilty.

8. Why do I feel more and more that the person I loved before is not what I want? Is it my own problem?

We will always think that something is wonderful if we can’t get it. That’s because you know too little about him and don’t have time to spend time with him. One day, when you understand deeply, you will find that it is not as beautiful as you imagined. The more time you have to pay attention to others, the less time you have to reflect on yourself. Do you understand?

9. How do I know if he loves me?

Don’t deliberately guess what others think. If you don’t have the wisdom and experience to make the right judgment, you will usually make mistakes. To understand a person, you only need to see whether his starting point and destination are the same, and you can know whether he is sincere. The more mundane the details, the more they can reflect a person's persistence and bottom line.

10. I always feel lonely.

Loneliness is because your heart is so full that you can’t hold anything except troubles and sorrows. In fact, people who can think of others will never be lonely. Your problem is that you still have time to wonder if you are lonelier than others, so you have to keep yourself busy and fulfilled. Living a day in vain with nothing to do is like committing theft. It would be strange if you weren't lonely.

11. I feel so sad that I chose a sad marriage.

If you can spend every day peacefully, it is a blessing. How many people today will not be able to see the sun tomorrow, how many people are disabled today, how many people have lost their freedom today, and how many people have their families broken up today. Instead of complaining about it, try to change it. There is a saying that "no one can grow up with you." When you walk on the road, you will meet many people, and everyone will accompany you for a while, some are very long, some are very short, and some come very late. You and your spouse are just using the time that most people spend walking with you to sleep with you.

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