A miser husband’s financial control is also domestic violence

A man earns 1,000 yuan a month, but is willing to spend 800 yuan on you; another man earns 10,000 yuan a month, but is still willing to spend 800 yuan on you. 800 yuan. What choice will women make between the two? Not surprisingly, most people prefer the latter. A woman does not have to marry a rich man, but she should choose a man who is willing to spend money for you; a man can have no money, but he must not be stingy.

May regrets not understanding these principles when she was young. My husband has a net worth of millions, but he is extremely stingy. It is usually very difficult to get a few hundred yuan from him. She said that her husband's financial control was like another form of domestic violence, which caused her great pain.

Asking for money from her husband is like asking for his life

In May’s accusation, her husband is just like a modern version of "Grandet": he does not smoke He doesn't drink, play cards, gamble, or make friends. His only hobby is managing money. We are in business, have several houses, have at least several million yuan in savings, and have cards from all banks. He would transfer money from one bank to another bank, and then from that bank to this bank, and he would be happy to see the numbers growing little by little.

We have been married for almost 20 years, and he has never bought me a needle or a foot of thread. Every time I ask him for money, I have to rack my brains.

For example, before the Chinese New Year, he negotiated a business deal and was in a good mood. He sat on the sofa with his legs crossed and swayed while watching TV. I sat down and said, "Look, the Chinese New Year is coming soon, some relatives are leaving, and I want to buy two pieces of clothes." When he heard that he wanted money, he became a little wary. I acted coquettishly and said, "I dress well, doesn't your face look bright too?" He gave me 500 yuan. I struck again while the iron was hot and said, "Look, my daughter is now a teenager and it's time to dress decently. Let's buy her something too." He gave me another 100 yuan. I know this is the limit, so I will withdraw my troops immediately.

Situations like this are very rare. Generally, if you ask him for money, he will definitely bargain. For example, if you want 600, he will only give 400. His parents have always taught him to hold money tightly in his hands, and he has really learned it, but he is reluctant to spend a penny for his parents.

I want to go out to work and make money to buy flowers and clothes. He disagreed. Without me to look after the store, he would have to spend money to hire someone else. There was no one at home to buy food, cook, or do housework, so he would also have to spend money to hire a nanny. I said, let's get divorced. You give me a house plus 300,000 yuan, and I'll leave. He still won't do it.

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The financial control of the miser husband It is also domestic violence

There are more men than women who are misers

Some people say that the money you spend is your own, and it is just a pile of paper in your hand. But why do some people particularly like the feeling of holding a bunch of floral paper in their hands?

Ding Lei, a national second-level psychological counselor, said that a person's view of money is not innate, but slowly develops as he grows up, and is closely related to his living environment.

Some parents are frugal and good at calculating money. If they are taught by words and deeds, their children will be reluctant to spend money. Of course, there are a few counterexamples. Some parents are used to squandering money and spending money lavishly. Their children can't stand their parents' behavior, but they will become relatively frugal when they grow up.

There are also some people who experienced poverty when they were young. Once they gain wealth through their own efforts, many people still maintain a frugal and simple life style despite getting rid of the poor days in the past. Firstly, years of living habits have left a deep mark on them, and secondly, the memory of poverty often makes them insecure and like the sense of security of having money in their hands.

When people enter middle-aged and old age and their earning power begins to decline, they will naturally become "stingy". This is their normal response to the anxiety caused by a sharp reduction in income in the future.

In the proportion of misers, men are usually higher than women, which also puzzles many women. In fact, for women, money means delicious food and fancy clothes, while for men, it represents power and status. Therefore, power-hungry men are keen to keep money firmly in their hands to establish their indestructible status.

When two people live together, it is crucial for them to have similar outlook on life and values, and the outlook on money is undoubtedly a very important part of it. If one party is used to spending money and the other party is frugal by nature, it will be a kind of torture for both parties.

Ding Lei suggested that couples may wish to set up a joint family account and a personal account after marriage. Some of the family's necessary living expenses are paid from the joint account, and personal consumption is paid from the personal account, so that they can jointly bear family responsibilities. Without interfering with private space. Sometimes, a husband or wife secretly uses their personal account to buy a gift for each other, which can also add some spice to the dull married life!