The young woman’s tangle: the lingering love outside the two families

Jun Yan said, baby, as long as I live, I will love you until I grow old and die. He said, baby, why didn't you let me meet you twenty years earlier, then I would definitely marry you. Lying peacefully in Jun Yan's arms, I cried and said that if I had met you twenty years earlier, I would have married you.

Jun Yan’s lips kissed my forehead. His lips were as gentle and soft as the glass of warm water he poured me.

The setting sun shines through the treetops and sprinkles gold in the spacious room, swaying gently with the swaying of the tree shadows. Although we hug each other tightly at this moment, we still can't bridge the distance of twenty years, and I can't help but feel melancholy in my heart. Jun Yan seemed to sense my emotions and hugged me tighter.

Baby, how did you feel when you saw me for the first time? Jun Yan lowered his head and asked me.

I think you have a very clean temperament and are a trustworthy person. Thinking about it now, maybe I liked you back then.

Hmm. So do you want to know how I felt when I first met you?

Think.

I think I have liked you for a long time.

It must be autumn.

Yes, it is autumn...

Distance

Often, the first person we meet is not the right one; often, because we cannot find the right person , we entrust our lives to it at will; however, love often comes unexpectedly when you think you can't wait, but we no longer have the right to have it.

But, more often than not, what we fall in love with are self-righteous illusions. Love is such a thing that comes back and forth. No one can tell whether "I wish we had met before we were married" is a deep regret or a temporary confusion...

In the autumn of 2007, in the hospital At the end of the long corridor, I saw Jun Yan.

At that time, the golden sunlight slanted through the window and fell on Jun Yan's clean white coat. It reflected his bright expression, and I almost let out a startling admiration.

I came to the hospital to find a friend. Jun Yan was the first person I asked. Coincidentally, he happened to be in the same department as this friend. In their office, the three of us chatted naturally. Time passed quickly and I stood up to say goodbye to them.

"Leave a phone number so we can contact you later." Before leaving, Jun Yan said lightly.

After exchanging phone numbers with Jun Yan, I thought Jun Yan would contact me soon. Every day, I have a faint expectation, this feeling is like first love. Twenty years ago, after my first love failed, I obeyed the arrangements of life, got married and had children, thinking that I would never care about anyone again. However, Jun Yan, a man who had a close relationship with me, easily overturned my peace of mind.

A week has passed without any news from Jun Yan. It seems that he has forgotten me long ago, or he has never remembered me at all. I couldn't resist the urge to contact him and dialed Jun Yan's phone number.

"Hello?" A magnetic and rich male voice came from the other end of the phone. My heart beat wildly, and I realized that I had fallen in love with him.

Since I first dialed Jun Yan’s phone number, our contact has become increasingly frequent. Later, Jun Yan said that after leaving my number, he had wanted to call me many times, but he always felt abrupt and gave up after dialing the number. What I didn't expect was that I would take the initiative to call him.

Since then, Jun Yan has often come to the store to see me. We chatted easily, talked about family and work, and then went out to eat together. At first, Jun Yan came only once every few days, but later he came almost every day. He said that if he didn't see me for a few days, he would miss me. Jun Yan's words hit my heart, because I don't know when, as long as Jun Yan and I are separated, I will miss him.

Winter

It was snowy weather, and when it was almost noon, I suddenly received a call from Jun Yan: "Are you in the store?"

"at".

Jun Yan said that he would come over and deliver food to me. I quickly said no, but Jun Yan still insisted on coming. Seeing that I kept refusing, he simply hung up the phone.

Twenty minutes later, covered in snowflakes, Jun Yan appeared in front of me with a lunch box. When he opened the lunch box, the vegetables, rice, and soup were still steaming. Jun Yan said that they were all made by himself.

My eyes suddenly became moist. It has been a long time since anyone took such good care of me. Although I have a family, it is a home without tenderness and care. Every day, my wife and I go about our own business during the day. We come home to have a meal together in the evening, and then he goes out and doesn’t come back until one or two in the morning. Sometimes he doesn’t come back all night. I never ask him why he spends the night outside. Never cared if he betrayed me.

Jun Yan is mature, steady, kind, and helpful... I can find all the advantages a man should have in him, and I can't help but fall in love with him.

Jun Yan also loves me. I can feel his deep affection from his expression, his eyes and every move he makes.

So, when Junyan suggested taking me somewhere after we had dinner together one day, I agreed without thinking.

I understand Jun Yan’s thoughts, and I have already seen the desire in his eyes.

In that space that only belongs to us, we forget all worldly constraints and let the desires released deep in our souls burst like a flood, drowning each other and ourselves...

After the passion, I suddenly felt very ashamed and regretful. I wanted to escape, but Jun Yan grabbed me: "Don't leave!" With just these words, I no longer had the courage to leave.

Jun Yan and I fell in love. When we reached middle age, we found the feeling of love for the first time. Jun Yan said the same. We put all our passion into every hug and kiss, as if we were trying to make up for half a lifetime of delay.

When the love is strong, Jun Yan will sigh and say: "Why did I just meet you now."

"As a woman, my most successful thing is that I can I want to meet and fall in love with you." I stared at Jun Yan and couldn't help but say, "Yan, can I marry you now?"

Jun Yan's eyes dimmed, and he said quietly: "Divorce is too complicated, and it will involve children..."

Jun Yan's words made me fall from the peak of happiness to the valley of pain, and I burst into tears. The tears rushed out of my eyes, he actually didn't want me, I was really sad.

I decided to leave Jun Yan. I started not to answer his calls or text messages, but no matter how indifferent I was to him, his text messages still came. In the morning, let me put on more clothes; at noon, let me remember to eat; in the evening, let me have a good rest. Jun Yan described his longing and pain in the text message, all of which shook my determination to leave him again and again. Finally, when the haggard Jun Yan stood in front of me and said sadly, "Baby, even if you leave me, don't stay too far away from me." I cried again. In front of Jun Yan, I completely surrendered and became the lover of love. captive.

Memories

If one day our love hurts each other’s families, I will choose to give up immediately...

I figured it out, I I can't destroy Junyan's family, and I can't give up my responsibility to the family. Jun Yan said, why care about that piece of paper, isn't it enough as long as we truly love each other? There was a bit of heavy helplessness in his tone.

Jun Yan said, one day I will marry you, but not now.

Jun Yan said, you are the concern in my heart.

Jun Yan’s affectionate words moved me time and time again, and I thanked God countless times for allowing me to meet Jun Yan. It's a pity that there is a distance of twenty years between us. If we had met earlier, maybe it wouldn't be like this.

In order to maintain my family, I once discussed separating from Junyan. In just a few months, we separated and reunited many times. No matter how determined I decided to break up, the strong feelings always remained. Will tie us together again.

The future of Junyan and I is full of variables. If one day we have to separate, maybe I won’t fall in love with anyone again; if one day, our love hurts each other’s families, I Will choose to give up immediately. But this love with Jun Yan will be a memory that will never fade.

Love is beautiful, but reality is cruel. Although it is a beautiful love, it crosses the boundaries of morality.