"Time can change everything!" This is true, but when it comes to love, you have to weigh it carefully. If you are trying to change your embarrassing situation now, here are 8 situations for your reference. Love without results should be let go as soon as possible.

1. You care more about the other person

You are in love, but you are not sure what the other person thinks; you think you two are suitable, but he seems to disagree; you miss him very much when he is not around, but he seems to be no different when you are not around. What does this mean? "How can two people walk together if they are not of the same mind?" Sometimes there will be situations where one party loves the other more. If it is a healthy relationship, there will be an alternation, and the two people will take turns playing the roles of pursuing and being pursued; But if one party always acts as a pursuer, this kind of relationship is not healthy. If it goes on for a long time, you will be hungry for love, you will feel controlled by the other party, and you will feel angry, cheated, and painful.

2. What you love is the potential of the other person

What you love is the potential of the other person, not what the other person is really like. What you love is what the other person may be like in the future. Then he is not your partner at all, but the object of your transformation. Every time we give pre-marriage counseling, we ask, if the other person doesn’t change in fifty years, would you be satisfied? If you always hope to change the other person so that you feel more satisfied, then it is not love, but gambling, using the happiness of both parties as a bet. When you are in a relationship with someone, you must love and respect them for who they are, not what they will be in the future. You can expect them to continue to grow, but you must be satisfied with who they are now.

3. Do you want to help the other person?

Do you often feel that the other person is pitiful? Do you feel you have a responsibility to help the other person cheer up? Are you afraid that if you leave the other person, he will not be able to bear the blow? If so, you may be a "rescue maniac". The "rescue maniac" will not look for a suitable target, but someone he sympathizes with and can help. Find someone who has been traumatized, vulnerable, dependent, unloved, and wronged, and you will love him from pity, and he will be grateful to you. This kind of relationship will be like a rescue mission, not a healthy and balanced relationship. The key thing to remember here is "respect". The person you love must be someone you can respect, and you must be proud of the other person. Your partner does not want your rescue, but wants you to truly understand him.

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4. Treat the other person as an object of adoration

Young female stars fall in love with directors, college students fall in love with professors, and secretaries fall in love with each other. The boss... falls in love with the object of his admiration. This kind of relationship is difficult to maintain normal because the two people cannot treat each other as equals. Both men and women must be treated equally. I don't mean status, but attitude. They cannot worship each other excessively. People who fall in love with their idols often have low self-esteem and feel bad about themselves.

5. You are only attracted by the other person’s appearance

It happens to everyone, right? If you find that you are deeply attracted by a certain characteristic of the other person, ask yourself, if the other person did not have those big blue eyes, magnetic voice..., if the other person was not a model, could not play basketball..., would I still be there? Will you be with him (her)? Is a man’s appearance the primary productive force?

6. The opportunity to spend time together

You and the other person share a certain job and often have to work overtime together, so you feel that you have fallen in love with the other person... You go on vacation for three weeks, meet a man who is also on vacation, and you feel as if you are falling in love... Short-term getting along day and night refers to getting together under special circumstances and is not a routine. This kind of relationship cannot last long because you cannot fully understand the other person's personality by getting along day and night for a short period of time.

7. I chose this person for the sake of rebellion

Your parents always emphasize to you that you need to find a rich partner, but every boyfriend of yours is a pauper; your parents have been strict with you since you were a child, but all of your girlfriends are very casual; your father has been telling you since you were a child, spreading the word of incense. is the most important thing, but your girlfriend either can't have children or doesn't want to have children... If the person you choose always makes your parents angry, it's probably that you just want to be rebellious and you feel you have to prove something to fight back. You can't control your own choices, you don't really love the other person, and this relationship is destined to be fruitless.

8. The other party is not free

I left this point to the end because it cannot be considered a relationship at all. The first prerequisite for choosing a lifelong partner is that the other person is a "free agent." A "free person" means a person who is free to associate with you. He is not married, not engaged, has no fixed partner, does not sleep with others, is single, and only associates with you.

If the man you fall in love with promises to break up with another woman as soon as possible; or if he says that he doesn’t love that woman, he loves you; or if his original partner accepts your existence, they don’t plan to break up, but he Want to be with you for a while; or he just broke up, but may get back together again... these are not free agency. Don't date someone who is married or in a relationship, no matter what the excuse is, the result will be the same, you are bound to get heartbroken. Don’t forget, you’re just accepting what’s left of the other person.

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