(1) "If a man is not bad, a woman will not love you." Are all women masochists? In fact, women just don't like those stereotyped, clumsy, and uninteresting guys. Relatively speaking, "bad" men are more interesting. But this "bad" should have a special meaning. It's the kind of heroine in old movies who turns around shyly and pokes the hero in the head with her finger: "You are such a bad person!"

Real bad men are terrible, and smart women will quickly smell the smell and escape in time. And the kind of men who pretend to be bad, commonly known as "playing cool", will soon become the "vomit image" of women.

Moreover, now "bad" men are suspected of being OUT, as evidenced by the popularity of Leo Ku's version of the "good man" image.

(2) "Men like beautiful and stupid women." In order to please the prince, Princess Diana kept a slim figure. She began to vomit after eating, and later developed into unstoppable vomiting. Charles was not grateful for this. On the contrary, he recalled with disgust: "My honeymoon was full of vomiting." When Charles divorced Diana, Diana's measurements were 35-28-35 (inches), and she was Beauty experts call it the "devil's golden ratio", an abandoned woman with a perfect figure.

But the old and ugly Camilla, who has been obsessed with the prince for decades, even the acquaintances who condemned her for ruining the royal marriage had to say: "To be fair, anyone familiar with Camilla Everyone who lives in Mila thinks that she is a lovable woman. She is not only smart, but also very funny. "She is the queen at the banquet. She can talk about literature, art, politics and economy. In private, She is a passionate and indulgent lover. When they first met, she was not shy like a little girl to say hello. What she said was: "My great-grandmother was your great-grandfather's mistress. What do you think?"

Diana? Diana is a high school dropout who failed even the make-up exams.

Beauty is something that men value very much in women, but love is not about looking at posters or a one-night stand. When the attraction caused by beauty fades away, how can life not be boring if you face a slow and clumsy lover every day? Of course, those men who need to find self-confidence in front of women, or use beautiful women to show their worth may be yearning for beautiful and stupid women. However, what is there to be proud of in the admiration and adoration of a fool?

(3) "Men should not make women cry" Men are not saviors, and women are not clay dolls. In love, tolerance and understanding are necessary; but unlimited and absolute requirements are unreasonable. Only with "equality" can healthy and deep love arise between people. Men and women are both human beings, with their own temperaments and habits, as well as their advantages and disadvantages. Friction is inevitable. Once friction occurs, it is the man and woman who should adjust, rather than the man's blind tolerance and commitment.

Women's emotions are more fragile than men's, while men are more carefree. Men are required to fully take care of women's thoughts. Balzac happened to have a metaphor: "It's like asking a gorilla to play the violin." If there is a little friction, shed some tears and say something. It's okay to be angry.

Besides, women are sentimental, and crying a little is a catharsis of emotions for women, which is very comfortable. If a woman doesn't shed tears for love, then she will be distressed to death. If you look at a lot of women who prepare tissues every day and wait to watch "Love in the Rain", you will know that crying is often a form of entertainment for women, and it is a way for her to express her poetry and enjoy love.

If this sentence is interpreted as "men cannot hurt women cruelly", then it should also be added at the same time "women cannot hurt men cruelly". And this is equivalent to not saying anything, so let's rest.

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(4) “Don’t ask for eternity, but ask for what you once had”

Third parties often say this when they first become third parties, but later they mostly cry and shout for "eternal life". What's the point of deceiving oneself and others? The desire for exclusivity in love is our unavoidable instinct. When you are the attacker, you are busy preparing cannonballs; when love grows old and you think about defense, how much you long for that safe "sieged city".

Another situation is that they are afraid of taking responsibility and agree in advance that they only want to do it now and not the future. I have a friend. The most unbearable thing about her ex-boyfriend is that he always makes it clear that "we may not get married in the future" and "as if I have to pester him." Her friend finally got annoyed and didn't even want to "have" . Her ex-boyfriend was stimulated by this and suddenly felt that he couldn't live without her, so he actually proposed. And she never looked back.

(5) The "motto" "Together because we don't understand" and "Separate because we understand" seems to have been circulated for a long time. The theoretical basis is that "distance produces beauty". It is said that a flower looks from a distance, but a hemp looks from up close.

So this kind of love and marriage guidance has also emerged. It is said that both husband and wife should maintain a sense of mystery during marriage and not often expose their naked bodies in front of each other. A friend of mine got divorced recently, and his ex-wife followed this dogma. When she was taking a bath, her husband must not go in. If he accidentally went in, she would scream and cover her body with a towel, in case she met a gangster. A friend's comment was: "Is it useful? I haven't seen anything about her?"

Of course, it is said that psychological understanding will lead to boredom and leaving. However, I want to ask: Is it so easy to understand a person? In just a few years, you got to know someone of the opposite sex who is very different from you and got tired of her? The motto in the Temple of Delphi: "Know thyself." The lesson has been learned through the ages. It is so difficult for people to even understand themselves, but how easy is it to understand a person of the opposite sex?

On the contrary, only love based on understanding is deep and lasting. In the process of constantly getting to know each other, you also get to know yourself. That kind of happiness is definitely not as intense as an orgasm, but it must be deeper and greater.

(6) "We broke up because: we are destined but not destined." Fate is a Buddhist concept, which is very profound and is a kind of cause and effect. Now when we talk about love, the meaning is actually very shallow, that is, why did I meet you among thousands of people. It is not easy to meet and fall in love with each other; unfortunately, there are too many irresistible factors that force us to separate. This is the fateful ending. This is not our fault, but the fault of fate.

It seems that modern people are reasoning, but in fact it is no different from the ancient people who arranged birth dates. When love is painful or when love is not smooth, if you don't reflect on your own reasons, you blame fate and say fate is elusive. This is like a child tripping and not saying that you were careless, but hitting the stool and scolding it. Out of the way.

In modern society, love and marriage are independent and protected by law. Except for rare cases such as severe illness and disaster, generally speaking, the failure of a love marriage is related to the personality reasons of both parties. If your personality and living habits are incompatible, breaking up rationally is also a solution if it cannot be changed. If you lack a mature soul and the art of love, then you must make up for it as soon as possible. There are reasons for bad love. The right way is to find out the real reasons, rather than blame others and blame fate and fate.

(7) "Find someone who loves you and forget the person you love." In this sentence, the person who loves you and the person you love are definitely not the same person. "I would rather find someone who loves you", but it is very practical, only accepting, not giving. I just haven't heard that people who live divided lives will be happy. Moreover, it seems that love is not entirely like doing business. If the profit is greater than the cost, you will make a profit. On the contrary, love itself is more worthy of blessing than being loved. Psychologist Fromm said in his famous book "The Art of Love": "Good love is first of all 'giving' rather than 'getting', because 'giving' is happier than 'getting', and 'giving' is not a sacrifice. , but expresses 'wealth' and 'vitality'." Just like a poor person is sad not only because he is poor, but also because he is deprived of the ability to "give".

It is indeed sad to love without being loved, but is it too selfish and cruel to put this sadness on the person who loves you? When I was in college, some students had their bicycles stolen, so they stole someone else's car to compensate. As a result, more people were stolen. It's such a sad "domino" because when the first one falls, all of them fall.

Inability to love is an epidemic in modern society. If you can truly fall in love with someone and truly suffer for love, then congratulations, your body and mind are sound, and your pain is not enough. The despair of having no one in the world to love. Being loved or not cannot be forced, but first of all, having the ability to love is worthy of blessing.

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