Haruki Murakami said that as long as you can love someone from the bottom of your heart, your life will be saved. But in the struggle with material things, many people cannot remain calm. When the two broke up, they both seemed to understand the truth that details defeat love, and a relationship of many years is no better than a marriage certificate and a child. In fact, the seemingly simple marriage relationship has many details that test us.

First details

Whether a marriage can be approved by parents is very important to the happiness index of the married life of the young couple. Parents are people who have experienced this. They are well aware of the importance of "firewood, rice, oil and salt" and the interrelationship between "bread" and "love" in a society where social security is not yet complete and CPI is skyrocketing. Therefore, lovers who are passionately in love should not simply regard parents' opposition as snobbery, but should understand their concerns about the tragedy that may result from their children's immature marriage. If you want to get the blessing of your parents, both men and women must make early plans and efforts for their careers and marriage. It is not appropriate to "come to propose marriage" when the time is not ripe. Once the time is ripe, many problems will no longer become problems.

Second details

The financial foundation determines your living space. It is definitely not a wise move for a couple to "get married" in a hurry. Eating, drinking, and having sex is nothing that is not a worry and a waste of money. Whether the young couple has the financial capacity, energy, and mental preparation is something that has to be considered. It is recommended that "naked married couples" should make plans for the birth of a child based on their actual situation, preferably during a relatively stable period of time after the marriage has settled in, when both parties are relatively fully prepared financially, energetically and mentally. It is more appropriate to welcome the arrival of a child.

The third detail

Most women who have had marriage experience understand that if you deal with the mother-in-law, half of the marriage problems will be solved. Therefore, a woman must not be pampered because of her husband's love, and show off her "true temperament" in front of her mother-in-law regardless of severity or occasion. If her mother-in-law gets angry, she will have to clean up the mess herself.

Of course, it is a bit difficult to cater to everyone. You only need to grasp a few points: 1. Try not to live with your mother-in-law; 2. Emotionally respect and considerate your mother-in-law; 3. Be diligent and sweet, and ask your mother-in-law for advice on small things. Make up your mind; 4. When you have different opinions on major matters of principle, you can temporarily hold back your position, but you must not confront each other head-on. The couple will discuss countermeasures behind closed doors when they return home. When dealing with specific matters, you must be soft on the outside and strong on the inside, and be flexible and flexible.

The fourth detail

Since it is a marriage that they have worked hard for, when faced with financial difficulties, husband and wife should support each other and tide over the difficulties together. Although modern society has gradually become impetuous and utilitarian, not all poor couples will reach the point of being "sorrowful".

If you plan to have a "naked marriage", don't have the mentality of being hot-headed and following fashion. Understand the current situation clearly, deal with the difficulties in life in a down-to-earth manner, and be mentally prepared to endure hardship now and look forward to the future. Even if it is a "naked marriage" that is not favored by parents, relatives and friends, it will not easily become what they imagined. So vulnerable.

The fifth detail

Extramarital affairs have always been the strongest killer of marriages. The foundation of marriage is love. If this solid foundation is shaken or even destroyed, then the marriage building that has devoted each other's emotions, efforts, and money will most likely be wiped out in an instant.

Smart couples must regard extramarital affairs as minefields and avoid them carefully. Several key principles for successful "minesweeping" are: 1. When the pure beauty of love is replaced by the triviality and banality of marriage, both husband and wife must actively work hard to keep each other's love fresh, and at the same time refine it into an unbreakable family bond. . 2. When you have dangerous thoughts, think more about the family we have built together with great difficulty, the children whose parents share the same blood, and the tragic consequences of a single thought.

The sixth detail

After becoming husband and wife and having children, a man and a woman form a solid community, with both prospering and losing. This is caused by the subtle role of husband and wife in a family composed of a man and a woman. They are both a community and physically and psychologically independent individuals. How to deal with the relationship between the community and the individual is very important for the first time in the siege. For a person, he is also very knowledgeable.

When a husband and wife consider the family as a community, they should also consider the feelings of the other person as an individual, and make decisions that are most beneficial to the family based on the consent of the other party, and no decision should be made without hurting the other person. Family, self-esteem, and emotions, if you try to achieve your goals through concealment, deception, and coercion, even if you want to achieve a goal that is good for the entire family, it will hurt each other's emotions and cause family civil war, which will not be worth the gain.

Gender psychology, female psychology, male psychology

Know what you want

Sex expert Rory Gottlieb said that for singles in their 30s who are looking for love, "feeling of love" is more important. Therefore, when you are dating, if you find that the other person does not respect you and does not deserve your respect, don't waste time and end the date as soon as possible.

Don’t talk too much

First dates are often exciting, and the chatterbox begins to flow. However, on a first date, it’s best not to come across as “blah blah blah”. The other party should be given a chance to speak in a timely manner. At the same time, don't mistakenly think that "boys who don't talk much are not sentimental". Some boys who are a little shy are actually more interesting.

Pay attention to your eating habits

Many girls don't pay attention to this. When eating, it is best to keep your mouth closed and avoid exposing the food being chewed. American gender relationship expert Della Casa said that when girls order food, they should try to avoid some soupy dishes and avoid foods with too much garlic and onions.

Avoid kissing deeply too early

A deep kiss on the first date will ruin the first impression and easily cause misunderstandings to the other party (especially the man).

Have sex after trust

A generally accepted view is that you should go on at least three dates before having sex. But sex expert Dr. Bonnie Iker Will said that it is not advisable for men and women to have sex too early, at least until they trust each other.

Treat AA boys correctly

Many people believe that when a man and a woman date, the man should pay the bills. But if the man proposes the AA system, it does not mean that "such a boy cannot be wanted." If a girl likes a boy, how to pay the bills is not a problem.

Express gratitude immediately after the date

In order to show restraint, some girls believe that "after a date, you should wait two days before replying to the boy." Della Casa believes that this approach is not good. In fact, expressing gratitude to the man in a timely manner (preferably no later than the next morning) via text message or email is not only a polite move, but also helps to enhance mutual understanding.