The most lively news on the media these days is that Andy Lau has finally admitted his love relationship for many years, and told everyone that he was married last year and fix the underground love. A female friend I know was very sad when she mentioned this. She has the same fate of long-distance love, but her long-term relationship ended in breakup.

At the age of thirty, she was very helpless: "I was obedient to him and worked hard without complaining, but in the end he said 'I don't feel anything anymore' and turned away."

"What's even more irritating is that someone told me that he fell in love with a woman. She ignored him, but he seemed to be obsessed with her and chased her. This is really unreasonable!" She said with a big smile. exclamation point!

For many years, as long as her boyfriend makes a phone call, women will drop whatever they are doing and run to him no matter when or where they are. When she went shopping, all she bought in her bag were men's clothes. Her explanation was: "I can't help it, all I can think about is him!" What's even more amazing is that because her boyfriend often travels on business, she also takes good care of her boyfriend's father. Mother and family.

She gave so wholeheartedly, but in exchange for the other party being ungrateful and unappreciative, one can imagine the deep sense of loss in her heart:

"I'm so nice to him, why doesn't he want me?"

Well, the problem most likely lies in the word "good".

Emotionally, men are hunters by nature, and they like the thrill and excitement of chasing and competing. So when a woman compromises and is too "nice" to him, most men will find it boring and lose interest.

A thirty-five-year-old woman once told me that she had dated several boyfriends, but no one ever proposed to her. In order to attract more men's attention, she wore low-cut and sexy clothes, and she would only marry him if he asked. , she was happy to untie Luo Shan and offer herself faster and faster. However, doing so only caused the man to leave her faster and faster.

Let's review the excitement formula of emotion: excitement = attraction + resistance, and you should be able to understand the truth. Emotions that are easily obtained often make people "no longer feel".

Compared with good women who are obedient and willing to compromise, the new breed of "bad women" is indeed more popular.

But don’t get me wrong, this is not about women with evil thoughts starting to wave the flag, and no one wants you to start using tricks and scheming to play with other people’s feelings. The new breed of “bad women” refers to those who face A smart woman who knows how to value herself when she is a man, rather than focusing on the other person.

The reason why bad women are "bad" is because they will not be obedient to men. However, just like the new usage of the English word bad, when Americans say "You are bad", in the new century, it is also It's a new kind of compliment.

The new breed of "bad women" will make hunter-like men excited because they have the following charming qualities:

(1) Have a deep understanding of themselves: Bad women are well aware of their own strengths and weaknesses, and they also know where their own charm lies, and can use it wisely.

(2) Maintain financial and emotional independence: A bad woman has her own job and does not intend to rely on men for support; and a bad woman’s emotions will not be affected by a man’s behavior. If he doesn’t call, no problem, girl I find things to do on my own and don't complain to men.

(3) Know how to hint but not take the initiative: A bad woman will not take the initiative to show love, let alone take the initiative to devote herself. A smart bad woman knows how to use hints to let men take the initiative to pursue.

(4) Pay attention to yourself: A bad woman will not ask a man about his past relationships or compare herself with his previous girlfriends. A bad woman is confident and elegant. What she cares about is how to show her beautiful self.

(5) Be happy to be yourself: A "good" woman is devoted to pleasing a man, and is willing to sacrifice herself to be the perfect woman in his mind; while a bad woman does something and doesn't do something, insisting on living her true self. Only in this way can she Because you love yourself, you are more capable of loving men.

The era of good women has passed. A new breed of bad women are elegant and independent, confident and mysterious. They can make men's hearts flutter and produce sweet actions that build long-term relationships!

Author: Zhang Yijun, an emotional intelligence expert and the head of the Zhang Yijun Emotional Intelligence Club, has a PhD in psychology from the Georgia Institute of Technology in the United States. He has been a university professor for 11 years and is active in A psychology expert in the media, he serves as guest host of programs such as "Garden of the Soul", "Psychological Interview", "Metamorphosis" and other programs, and is a senior corporate trainer.

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