In sex therapy, we often encounter people who have no obvious organic problems or outstanding psychological barriers, but they do suffer from repeated sexual setbacks. Careful analysis can reveal that they are likely to have some personality defects, because a person's sexual behavior can be significantly affected by his or her personality. If the organic combination and interaction between them are coordinated, the person's behavior will be normal. If it is imbalanced, it will be normal. Abnormal behavior may occur. For example, low self-esteem is one of the most common problems. People with high self-esteem are more outgoing, more confident, more aggressive, and more aware of their sexual requirements and feelings than those with low self-esteem. Because he is more confident in his own personality, identity, taste and self-esteem, he can often establish a more harmonious and beautiful sexual relationship with his sexual partner. People with low self-esteem are never proud of their own worth, nor are they proud of their bodies. One of the symptoms is that they are never willing to change clothes in front of their partners, and they will never be naked in front of their partners unless the lights are turned off.

Self-esteem has a similar impact on female sexuality. Women with a strong sense of self-esteem tend to go through their sexual development process smoothly. They are proud of all aspects of their personality and their body image. They understand their own needs and how to control themselves. They can have a clear awareness of themselves and adjust their sexual relationships, and express their sexual feelings loyally and frankly. Since women receive traditional education on how to be a good wife and mother, how to care for their husbands and raise children, and how to obey their husbands' needs, they are prone to develop an inferiority complex. They always think that their main responsibility in marriage is to fulfill their duties and please their husbands when he needs her. She only has the obligation to provide services but does not have the power to fully meet her own needs.

As a result, they rarely awaken their sexual consciousness and feelings, and even pretend to have orgasms during sexual activities to satisfy their husbands' psychological needs. Over time, they become dissatisfied with their lack of sexual sensation and believe there must be something wrong with them. Therefore, their marriage will not end well, and their husband will abandon her because of her low sexual desire or even sexual aversion. Due to the lack of personal career development, always strong inferiority complex, and lack of awareness of independence and self-protection, some women will overly accommodate their men’s sexual requirements. Happiness will leave her. As a result, some men who toyed with women took advantage of the situation and abandoned them once they got involved. At this time, these women fell into "chastity anxiety" and believed that they were the uncleanest women. From then on, they were afraid of making friends and shed tears all day long; Or give up on yourself and take the wrong path.

When choosing a mate, these women tend to choose a man who is inferior to themselves in terms of social and economic status and cultural level. They will also over-protect the other person and forgive all the other person's actions, even if it is infidelity or infidelity. Abuse. They always wear clothes that are behind the times, and they dare not even speak loudly or behave in a low voice. Sometimes even their relatives and friends cannot understand how they can become like this. This seems difficult to explain with simple traditional concepts. The key is inferiority complex. The solution is to improve your sense of independence and self-esteem, and not to spend your life cowardly like Liu Huifang. In addition to affecting a person's career achievements, low self-esteem problems also affect her emotional development, sexual feelings and satisfaction, because a person's ability to express and enjoy sex depends to a large extent on his self-esteem and self-confidence. Therefore, the impact of inferiority complex on women's sexual behavior will be more serious than that on men.

It is generally believed that the lack of a sound sexual relationship will make people feel inferior, and it is difficult for people with low self-esteem to experience sexual satisfaction in sexual relationships. Men and women with low self-esteem are equally vulnerable when encountering sexual frustration, especially men because they place more emphasis on the successful establishment of sexual relationships, while women, because they are unwilling to accept sexual intercourse on a casual basis, will be more vulnerable to sexual frustration. In many cases abstinence is chosen to prevent frustration.

Most sexual attraction is based on self-confidence. In the animal kingdom, whoever has superior abilities is the king. It should be noted that looks often dominate over a person's courage and merit, and that competition for proposals is often more dominated by bravado and rhetoric than actual contestation. Showing off, grooming, singing and other means of increasing one's competitiveness will inevitably hinder the sexual process itself. In humans, these behaviors tend to be unconscious, but nonetheless highly influential. Pace, posture, style and tone often convey a person's interests, desires, confidence and beliefs. In a sexual relationship, if a person lacks confidence in his or her sexual identity, he or she cannot be relaxed and considerate enough to ensure the satisfaction of the other person.

To achieve a truly satisfying sexual relationship, a person must first love himself during lovemaking before he can love others. If a person feels that he or she is unlovable or unworthy of love, he will not readily accept love from others and will devalue any effort he or she can provide in a sexual relationship. In this way, from the initial mutual attraction stage of establishing a love relationship, self-esteem always plays a role in ensuring success. For example, a divorced man over 40 years old can always quickly find a desirable woman who is always graceful, intelligent and sexy. Every time he went out to restaurants, dance clubs, and looked at his well-decorated bedroom with his new girlfriend, but each time it ended after a few dates, and then he went on to pursue a new lady. Why doesn't he just choose someone to live with? Because after a few dates, he didn't know what to do next. He felt that the other party had seen through him, and he had no confidence at all to continue talking.

The sexual interest of people with low self-esteem is not necessarily lower than that of people with strong self-esteem. Their reduced sexual interest is just a common symptom of severe depression. People with low self-esteem are often prone to depression, so many of them will show low sexual desire. Although low self-esteem is a fairly common occurrence in a highly competitive modern society, fortunately they are not always severe. They generally do not suffer from severe emotional disorders or autonomic nervous system disorders (such as insomnia, poor appetite, weight loss, gastrointestinal disorders), and their most basic desires have not disappeared. In contrast, patients with moderate loss of self-esteem become addicted to sexual activities, hoping to gain from their sexual partners the self-worth and validation they cannot give themselves. There is no gender difference in the decrease in sexual desire, but men are more likely to lose sexual interest due to greater pressure on their sexual performance functions.

Are people with low self-esteem more likely to adopt a laissez-faire attitude towards sexual matters? Most people agree with this view. People with low self-esteem are prone to have casual and chaotic sexual relations with others. This is not only seen in women, but also in men. Especially when you have extreme low self-esteem or feel rejected by others, it may be an early symptom of mental illness. For example, patients with mania, depression or hysteria may use sexual promiscuity to obtain a temporary and healthy feeling. Of course, this is always It's very short-lived, and the truth will eventually come out. Surveys show that women who have sexual intercourse too early will be hyperactive in their later lives, have many sexual partners, are prone to taking drugs, and are prone to using tools or pornography to enhance their sex life. They also rated the quality of their marriage the lowest. On the other hand, sexual promiscuity does not bring them any satisfaction but a more serious sense of frustration.

A survey showed that the main reason for extramarital affairs is not low self-esteem. About 70% of people reported sexual frustration, 50% out of curiosity, 40% as a means of revenge, and 20% specifically. Seeking extramarital affairs. These are conscious motivations, as well as unconscious motivations such as validating masculinity and femininity. Inferiority is often not a motive because it arises from repressed conflict. Others believe that love is not a common cause of extramarital affairs, but that worry and the desire to enhance self-esteem are the main motivations. The psychological rewards brought by extramarital affairs far exceed the physical pleasure it brings. In particular, it renews the sense of personal desire, believes in regaining youth, and strongly arouses and rediscovers the poetic and artistic value of love.

Contemporary psychiatrists acknowledge that sexual fantasies help to enrich human sexual life through variety and novelty, and therefore can be viewed as a creative, healthy act rather than a mental defense mechanism or compensatory means. People with low self-esteem often tend to reduce their sexual fantasies due to depression, while people with high self-esteem will use sexual fantasies more as a means of sexual arousal.

Women tend to feel inferior because of breast size, asymmetry, and shape. For example, 120,000 women in the United States undergo various breast plastic surgeries every year. As for wearing orthopedic bras and taking traditional non-surgical measures to enlarge breasts, Women are even more numerous.

Despite the publicity that the female clitoris plays a role in sexual satisfaction and that penis size is not a determining factor in female sexual satisfaction, there are still many men who feel inferior about the size of their penis. Especially in China, where sex education is poor, anxiety caused by penis size is so common, which naturally makes them feel inferior, and some people even dare not fall in love or get married. The only thing that can make men happy is that the size of the penis is hidden at ordinary times. It only erects when it is sexually stimulated, and the difference in penis size after erection will no longer be so significant. This is not the case for women, whose breasts can always openly show their size. However, with the increase in sexual experience and the widespread dissemination of sexual knowledge, modern women make men appear more vulnerable than they were a few decades ago, and adolescent insecurities can easily resurrect at many inopportune moments.

Sexual interest, friendship and concern can all bring us concern and satisfaction, but they are all directed to other people. Love is mainly one's own experience and is a key part of love. The man in love is focused on his partner, but he feels a change in himself, all his feelings are intensified, his life becomes better, he dares to dream, he literally becomes a poet. Only those who have confidence in themselves are likely to have the basic ability to make commitments to others, otherwise their relationships will not develop consistently and stably. Love requires considerable self-awareness and confidence in order to reap the rewards it has to offer.

Finally, the survey also shows that when men and women feel frustrated in their sexual lives, they will consciously or unconsciously improve and compensate for their self-esteem through non-sexual achievements, such as career achievements or current status. Be a good mother and use this as a source of motivation for your self-esteem. Surveys have shown that 80% of divorced men and 90% of divorced women in the United States believe that their dedication to work has increased after divorce. Although divorce brings physical and mental trauma, it also provides these people with more time and energy. When you are at work, you need to stay at home less time, and you have greater mobility when you are at work.