Marriage is when two people build a family, live together, and get along day and night from then on - this is how most people understand marriage. But in real life, due to changes in the nature of work and work location, many couples have to face long-term separation in two places. There are also couples who, despite living under the same roof, rarely see each other due to differences in work and rest schedules. According to the American "Network MD" report on May 30, statistics from the American Separated Couple Relationship Research Center show that at least more than 3.5 million people are involuntarily separated from their spouses in two places.

American psychotherapist Tesena pointed out in the book "Marriage Living in Two Places" that separation in two places has both benefits and problems for marriage. When separated, both parties will often recall each other's strengths, bringing a sense of freshness to the relationship between husband and wife. On the other hand, if both parties begin to hate the separation and cannot communicate well with each other, the marriage will soon turn into a red flag. "I personally support separation between the two places. The distance makes the couple lose a sense of belonging and have more autonomy. They can exercise their ability to deal with problems alone and enhance their self-confidence. This helps balance the relationship between the couple and avoid unnecessary conflicts. All are beneficial.”

Besides, time is precious to everyone. Living in two places ensures that each other has complete independent time, and there is no need to worry about whether they are in tune with each other.

The American "Internet MD" also gave some "ingenious tips" suitable for couples who are separated in two places: It is the most critical point for both parties to maintain a positive and optimistic attitude towards life. Make full use of high-tech communication methods such as mobile phones, the Internet, and electronic imaging to maintain good communication. The one who stays at home should try his best to solve the problems in life by himself, such as finding maintenance workers, cleaners or temporary nannies, so that the one who works outside has no worries. Cultivate interests and hobbies to make your life alone more colorful. Often give the other person some unexpected surprises, such as putting a family photo in your lover's suitcase or writing a note to make him feel that you are thinking of him. Carefully arrange the reunion time and deeply appreciate the warmth of family.

Couples living in two places have four things to do and four things they don't want

The world is ushering in an era of high separation rates among couples. In the United States, at least 3.5 million people are involuntarily separated from their spouses in two places; in Germany, couples living apart in different places account for 12% of married people; in China, "month-end couples" and "quarter-end couples" in cities such as Beijing and Shanghai There are more and more "couples"... In order to help couples living apart in two places better maintain their relationship and sex life, we interviewed Li Huili, a marriage and love expert and national second-level psychological counselor, and based on the latest foreign experience, we summarized the characteristics of separated couples "Four dos and four don'ts".

Emotional contact:

Learn to communicate skillfully. Communication is the most critical factor in keeping a marriage relationship working. The more candid both parties are in communicating, the easier and more effective the communication will be. In fact, living apart in two places will also improve people's communication skills.

Stay connected in various ways every day. With the advancement of technology, living in two places is much easier today than it was 30 years ago. The young couple should contact each other every day as much as possible, preferably via video. Occasionally, you can also write a long letter to express your feelings from afar. Knowing that someone is thinking about you makes a big difference.

Don't be unrealistic. When two places are separated, you cannot always have unrealistic fantasies about your partner. It is normal to be jealous of other sweet partners who are tired of being together. In this case, don't be angry or keep it in your heart. You can communicate with your partner.

Don't always be worried. We can't always consider the negative effects of "living in two places". It actually has positive aspects, such as having more time and space, being alone, and getting along with friends.

Sexual life:

Meet regularly to have sex. Sex is a major issue for separated couples. If the couple can get together every one or two months, they can adopt the method of "saving in small amounts and taking in whole amounts". After the sexual energy is properly accumulated, they can have high-quality sex once or twice. At this time, the intensity of sexual pleasure often obtained by two people will be better than usual.

Learn to masturbate. For couples who don't see each other for half a year or more, they can first satisfy their sexual desires by practicing masturbation, and they can also try sexual devices.

Do not actively accept sexual stimulation. On days when reunion is not possible, sexual stimulation should be appropriately reduced. Because sight and hearing can significantly increase people's sexual tension in a short period of time, men are particularly sensitive, which reduces the chance of sexual impulse and keeps the sexual desire level at a moderate level.

Don't complain about your sex life. Separation is a challenge to the sexual needs of both parties. Don't complain about each other. Frequent phone calls and text messages between husband and wife, and recalling the good times between the two of you can also satisfy your sexual psychology.