In the largest study to date on infidelity, Chapman University researchers found that men and women feel differently when it comes to cheating. In a poll of nearly 64,000 Americans, the study presents the largest test of how Americans of different genders and sexual orientations respond to potential physical or emotional infidelity.

Revealing the secret behind why women cheat and how to deal with cheating

A previous review of ethnic groups in 16 different societies found that infidelity was the most common cause of marital breakdown. Another big data analysis of 50 studies showed that 34% of men and 24% of women had sex outside of marriage. Cheating is even more common in relationships.

In this study, a total of 63,894 participants aged 18 to 65 completed the survey, with an average age of nearly 40. The results show that heterosexual men are more likely than heterosexual women to be upset by their partner's physical infidelity (54% of men and 35% of women), but heterosexual women are more likely to be upset by their partner's mental infidelity (46% of men and 65% of women).

Participants were asked to imagine which event made them more depressed: their partner having sex with someone else (but not falling in love), or their partner falling in love with someone else (but not having sex). Consistent with evolutionary ideas, heterosexual men were more upset than heterosexual women by a romantic partner's physical infidelity, but were not as upset by emotional infidelity as heterosexual women. There are no significant differences between bisexual men and women, and the same is true for homosexual men and women.

"Heterosexual men did stand out among all groups: They were the only group more likely to be 'most upset' by physical infidelity than by emotional infidelity," said David Frederick, the study's lead author. Dr. David Frederick said. He went on to point out: "The attitudes of lesbian, gay and bisexual men and women can be explained both from a historical perspective and from test results based on psychological theory, especially evolutionary perspectives."

Sexual and emotional infidelity can result in harm to both men and women, including heartbreak, relationship breakdown and painful endings, as well as abandonment, inter-partner violence, and financial losses resulting from the investment of all financial resources in the affair partner.

"Men and women react differently to the shock of infidelity, ranging from intense and painful jealousy to elaborate, violent behaviors designed to regain their partner's attention. Jealousy can also trigger harmful behaviors, so it's important to recognize what's most likely to trigger jealousy." said Frederick.

The evolutionary perspective points out that men face a problem that women never face: the uncertainty of paternity. They have no idea whether their child is genetically related to them, and there is always the possibility that the child's biological father is someone else. In contrast, women never face the problem of maternal uncertainty, so while both men and women are expected to experience sexual jealousy, men may experience this disproportionately more than women.

Sexual jealousy is a psychological problem that almost anyone will face, some serious, some mild. Due to the social incentive system and this subconscious mind, men value this "physical" attribute more.

Sociocultural perspectives generally claim that there should be no differences between men and women. However, this study proposes that men must undergo socialization to possess masculinity, which includes having strong sexual abilities. If a man's partner commits physical infidelity, it can cause problems with his sexual performance and undermine their masculinity. A partner's physical infidelity will have a more negative impact on men than a partner's emotional infidelity.

Women, on the other hand, are taught to think relationally and to be the emotional nurturers in relationships. If their partner makes a mistake and cheats emotionally, it will hit their sense of self more than sexual infidelity.

"There is a lot of disagreement about whether men and women respond differently to physical infidelity versus emotional infidelity. Most studies are based on small sample sizes or academic samples. We set out to examine a broad and diverse national sample." Frey Dr. Derek said.

Consistent with an evolutionary perspective, each person's response to physical and emotional infidelity is shaped by a combination of environmental and personal factors. These gender differences cut across age groups, income levels, histories of cheating, betrayal, relationship type and length. Factors such as age, income, and having children were not associated with frustration with infidelity. However, younger participants felt significantly more depressed about their partner's physical infidelity than older participants.

Feminine traits of taking the initiative in love

As the saying goes: "Men like to love, women like to be loved." However, there are also many women who believe that it is not a true love unless they have an active relationship or chase the person they like. So what kind of women have such "symptoms"? An article on the Japanese modelpress website on March 18 took stock of the characteristics of three women who enjoy "taking the initiative" in love.

1. Surrounded by besties

The so-called "taking the initiative" is essentially a kind of unrequited love. Although unrequited love will bring great happiness and emotion to people when it comes to fruition, unrequited love is often linked to lovelorn love. Therefore, when choosing to "take the initiative", you must make sure that you have a strong enough heart to withstand the pain caused by a broken love.

And best friends are the best people to rely on when you are falling out of love. Although "breaking up will make everything end", the heroic words "best friends stay together for life" always linger in the ears and give people courage. Therefore, when you fall into a "violent attack", don't forget the agreement you made with your best friend. In addition, women who have many best friends are usually more able to attract the attention of men, because those shining points of their character are obvious to all.

2. Good at enriching life

Falling into unrequited love, having him in your heart, in your eyes, and thinking about him wholeheartedly is enough to make you happy. In order to get closer to him, women must also find ways to improve themselves. But when you are in unrequited love, you will always accidentally spend the whole day focusing on him. Therefore, women who can enrich themselves and have many hobbies in their spare time can avoid being completely immersed in the "dating rhapsody" and unable to extricate themselves.

Give yourself time to do what you like, hang out with your best friends, study to improve yourself... Women who cherish their personal time tend to have a brighter inner self. Such women will not only think about "chasing boys", but will attract his attention through "self-cultivation".

3. Have a personal world

Women who like to actively pursue boys are often willing to live the life they like and enjoy their own life. "To love is to love the person you truly love." Women who think this way usually cannot feel the charm of men they don't know. And such women themselves have the same charm, making themselves particularly dazzling in the eyes of people who are different from themselves.

Such women will never fall in love "just because they are lonely", because the lonely time belongs to themselves and to that wonderful personal world.

How about it? After reading the above summary, have you also discovered that these women who dare and are willing to "pursue what they love" have unique self-confidence and independence. They enjoy their own lives and their own splendor.

What kind of partner do women want most

Everyone has their own unique charm. An outgoing person can always be the center of attention and is easily welcomed by the opposite sex; while an introverted person, although seemingly more conservative, often attracts women who want to be his partner? What kind of character should a man possess to make himself a sought-after target among women? Sarah Jones, an expert on interpersonal relationships, analyzes the characteristics that introverts usually possess. After reading this, you may also be able to better understand the factors that women value when looking for a partner, and thus make yourself a more charming man!

1. Mysterious attraction

Introverted people tend to give people a sense of mystery. They have a rich inner world and often have unique views and feelings about external things. This kind of personality will make women want to understand him, but they cannot easily guess his thoughts. Therefore, introverted people are naturally attractive.

2. Pay attention to the other person’s feelings

Being around reserved people will naturally give people a feeling of relaxation. They don't care whether they can get everyone's attention. At the same time, they are good listeners and can easily make the other party feel valued.

3. Don’t try to impress others and have your own ideas

They usually have a unique perspective on the world they live in, and as a result they often have amazing ideas, and talking to them is rarely boring.

4. Be responsible for life and don’t live hastily

Their ability to introspect makes them good companions. Introverted people often analyze what has happened in their lives to understand what they have done right and what can be improved. They have a responsible attitude towards their own lives instead of playing around with the world carelessly and living carelessly.

5. Be a gentleman and don’t act impulsively

They will not overly express their lust at the beginning, but they also know how to capture the subtle moments when men and women get along. Sometimes just one look can make a woman melt!

6. Passionate and curious about life

They are able to talk about in-depth issues and are curious and observant about the world, and can easily attract women with the same intellectual beauty.

7. Have a good understanding of yourself

Introverted people often spend time thinking about things about their own lives, and they also learn about themselves by absorbing external information. Therefore, they have a certain degree of understanding of their own values, preferences, and life attitudes. Having such traits can make people mature. , the feeling of being trustworthy.