A year or two ago, I wanted to conduct an online survey to see how many couples had sex before marriage. However, I gave up the idea because of a friend's words. He said: This survey does not have much practical significance. It is like asking you to survey how many men can accept wearing a red coat now. Twenty years ago, there were very few people who could accept it, but now those who cannot accept it are all antiques!

What made me think about this issue again was a chat with a netizen a few days ago. She said that she and her boyfriend have known each other for almost a year, got along very well, and were planning to get married this year. However, in the past few months, every time they met, her boyfriend asked to have sex with her. At first he was begging and begging, but later when she refused, he simply used violence against her, and even used some dirty words from time to time. The words insulted her.

She said that she actually liked this boy quite a lot, but because she was more traditional, she wanted to save this for after marriage. But the man refused to let her go and threatened to break up with her if she couldn't have sex before getting married. So, she asked me what should I do? Do all men demand sex before marriage? What are they doing this for? My reply is that it is understandable for most men to ask for premarital sex, but the specific situation must be analyzed in detail. Generally speaking, there are no more than the following five reasons for men to ask for premarital sex:

First, identify whether the other party

Virgin In modern society, although virginity is not a complimentary term, almost every man hopes to marry a virgin, and there are still many men who have a virginity complex. Based on this complex, to ensure that they can find a virgin to take home, some men will rack their brains and rack their brains, regardless of the woman's repeated objections and rejections, and ask to "try it on themselves."

If the test shows that the other person is a virgin, everyone will be happy, and their worries before marriage are dispelled; if the test shows that the other party is not a virgin, they can make plans again, or even avoid breaking up. In short, they are not allowed to take any risk to marry a non-virgin. The more open the society is and the fewer virgins there are, the more they want to take this "reassurance pill".

In this regard, our point of view is: perhaps a man’s virginity complex is understandable and even worthy of mercy. But this kind of disregard for the woman's feelings and using one's own narrow-mindedness to benefit oneself at the expense of others, or even despicable conspiracy, is extremely sad and shameless.

Second, be enthusiastic and impatient

I have always believed that men who have not experienced sexual intercourse are probably not mature. Because they cannot feel from some detailed feelings and exchanges how a woman should be caressed by a man. This kind of caressing is done and not done, whether it is debauchery or patience, whether it is gentle or brutal.

For a woman who is not married to you, and has not thought about it yet or is unwilling to give her body to you, perhaps the only thing she can do is caress, considerate and be patient.

In our opinion, if this is achieved, it is even more of a kind of love. It is this kind of love that makes them rational, capable of suppressing Fang Gang's interest, capable of being patient despite pressure, and becoming Being able to weigh desires and responsibilities, and the maturity behind this is far more reliable, long-term, and powerful than the maturity gained through sex alone.

Third, I think that only by giving it to him can I truly love him

To be honest, I still can't figure out this fallacy that is popular on the Internet - if you love him, give it to him. So I can't help but ask: Is it possible that when a woman falls in love with a man, she must give her body to him, and this giving must be before marriage, when he cannot give her any guarantee at all? I'm afraid that this kind of conclusion is both illogical and unreasonable, right? There is no such thing as love without reason, and there is no such thing as giving without reason.

Giving anything can only be reliable if it is done willingly, and it can only be real if it comes naturally. Otherwise, anything imposed or done with any selfish reluctance is immoral and ridiculous.

Here, what I want to say to all men who hold this idea is: If you really love her and want her, then treat her well, treat her sincerely, solve all her worries, and eliminate any worries in her heart. No worries, let her do it willingly and give it to you without hesitation.

Fourth, test the sexual harmony after marriage

In real life, although there appear to be many reasons for the failure of a marriage, more than half of them are related to the lack of harmony in sex life. So, from this perspective, I am not too opposed to men asking for premarital sex. It's a pity that not many men in real life can have such thoughts completely and simply. Perhaps what they value more is their own pleasure during sexual intercourse. As for whether women can get pleasure, they often don't care. Consider that their so-called test of sexual harmony after marriage is mostly based on personal feelings.

Of course, it must be pointed out that the harmonious sexual life of a man and a woman cannot simply be verified from the short-term cohabitation before marriage, because everyone has different menstrual cycles, as well as living environment and work pressure. Changes are constantly taking place, and the most important thing is that the disharmony can mostly be made up through sexual skills. Therefore, although this reason is not unreasonable, it is mostly just an excuse.

Fifth, just for desire, not love at all

As for this last reason, I don’t want to talk more about it, because it doesn’t even have the most basic technical content. To put it bluntly, it is just playing with women and using marriage as bait to trick you into sleeping with him. As for the love that frequently pops out of the mouths of these men, it can make people laugh out loud. It not only taints the environment, but also taints the Holy Spirit. If a woman wants to believe these lies, she will certainly be to blame.