Why does a man always care about his lover's past? The reason is, first of all, out of a kind of "virgin superstition". If you are not the first, wouldn't it feel like picking up "rags" that others don't want? This is related to the dignity of a man.

Secondly, it is based on a strong "personal possessiveness". Not only does he want to possess her present and future, but he also wants to possess her past. Once this "possessiveness" becomes intense, even normal interactions between family members, colleagues, and friends will be criticized by him.

Again, it’s because men take it for granted that they should know their lover’s past. Ask around to see if she's doing what's right. Even a very generous man will subconsciously ask endless questions, lest something unpleasant will bring lifelong regret. Interestingly, at this point, women are more tolerant. They are more concerned about their lover's present and future, so they will be more tolerant to men everywhere.

Men’s psychological behavior

When encountering a suspicious man, he will take the trouble to ask a woman about her past privacy. If the woman tells one thing, he will continue to ask her to tell the second and third things. Faced with this situation, even if there really was something in the past, women have no choice but to talk about it in an understatement. They must not "confess" like pouring beans into bamboo tubes.

The result of a woman's answer may be crucial to some men. There are many men who say to women: "It doesn't matter, I love you as you are now and don't care about your past." In fact, this is completely a lie to themselves and others. Men always care about their girlfriend's past.

There is a plot in the novel "The Tree of Life" by Japanese modern writer Jun Takami: a barmaid had a boyfriend, who tried every means to learn that she had a lover in the past and was raped by him. Cut his face. So, when this person dreamed that she was sleeping in the same bed with her old lover at night, he rudely shook her awake and asked: "You have been thinking about him, there must be something special about him that attracts you!" This waitress He said sadly: "He just cut my face, but you are more cruel than him!"

After the relationship with a romantic partner develops to a certain level, many men will ask: "Who did you like before you started dating me? What did he do?" "How long ago was that? How long has your relationship developed? To what extent?" This questioning tone is sometimes as powerful as a detective handling the case, and sometimes as gentle as a kind grandmother. This is the man!

Where does this habit of obsessing over a woman’s past come from? When both parties fall in love, the woman is not very interested in exploring the man's past, but the man is very interested in the woman's past, and will not be willing to do it until the truth comes to light. Why do men have such psychological behavior?

Men’s jealousy and possessiveness

First, this means that men are more jealous than women. Some people think that jealousy is only for women. This is really a wrong view. Many men are more jealous than women. There is a famous play by Shakespeare called "Othello". The protagonist Othello strangled his wife to death because he suspected that he was having an affair with another man.

Second, men have a strong desire for exclusivity. If she is now his girlfriend, but the man is still not satisfied with the exclusivity in front of him, and even wants to take possession of her "past", even if he knows that this is unrealistic, he insists on doing so. This is If this kind of desire reaches the level of evil and expansion, some abnormal phenomena will occur. In other words, she is only allowed to care about him, and it is best not to care about anyone except him at all. The results of this almost abnormal psychology are sometimes scary.

Many contemporary young intellectuals are very afraid of having children after starting a family. They believe that once they have children, their wives will transfer most of their feelings to them. This is something they do not want. willingly. Many men actually think that children are the "third party" that affects the relationship between husband and wife. This shows how possessive men are to an astonishing degree.

Men hope that their partners are pure

Thirdly, many men believe that it is their right to explore their girlfriend’s past. Therefore, they interrogate women’s past in every possible way without any sense of self-importance. There are many men like this who are small and don't feel embarrassed. Women are different. They only pay attention to their boyfriend's present and future. Although they are also interested in their past, they are not the only ones who like to inquire about their past.

They may think this way: "Even if he has had some romantic affairs in the past, what will happen if he takes it to heart? It's not a waste of effort!" The main reason why women can have this kind of tolerance is that It's because society's tolerance of men affects them.

Traditional social concepts do not have strict requirements for men. Men can have multiple wives, go to brothels, and play roles, so that women can only turn a blind eye to men's affairs. Just shut yourself up and be content with doing good to yourself.

Modern women’s understanding of men still retains the shadow of the past. To say that there is progress, it means that men are required to be relatively safe now and in the future, but generally do not investigate men’s past. However, traditional society's requirements for women are so strict that even now, a large number of men still believe that they have the right to know all the life experiences of their lovers.

Therefore, we can often see this phenomenon: a very good girl can marry a man who was very bad in the past, but a man will not marry a very good girl who was very bad in the past but is now very good. woman. That is to say, women's "disobedience" or unruliness are not tolerated by men. There is such a socially recognized concept hidden in men's thoughts: the wife a man marries must be pure in the past, present and even in the future. .

Should you confess everything about you to the other party?

When inquiring about a woman’s past, whether to ask a few questions in an understatement or to pursue her relentlessly depends on the man’s character. A man with an insidious personality and a narrow mind may be nagging and nagging endlessly. When a woman "confesses" to one thing, he will immediately ask about the second thing. After making the second "confession", he will force her to make a third. The three "confessions" are so close together that they never stop.

Nowadays, many magazines often receive questions like this from some young women: "Should I confess to the other party about my mistakes in the past?" The result of the confession is likely to cause more trouble. trouble. Of course, the most ideal method is to be honest with each other before marriage, and then talk about marriage after gaining understanding. Although this is true, the cruel facts often shatter the dreams of many innocent girls! It is not uncommon for men to be emotionally shaken after hearing a woman's confession before marriage. Therefore, women who have experienced losing their virginity can not tell the other party about their past without having to suffer the condemnation of conscience.

Imagine a man, if you deceive him, he will feel very happy, but if you expose the truth, you will rob him of his happiness. The more moral one should be the former.

How do men think that it is their right to inquire about women's past? If this is the case, then it is also a right for women to hide their past from men and not tell the truth.