Mencius said: "The nature of food and color is also the nature of food." Everyone has sexual instinct, which includes three elements, namely hormones, emotions and sexual fantasies. In other words, they are body, mind and soul. No matter what age group, good emotions, appropriate sexual fantasies and normal sex hormones are necessary to have harmonious sex. However, when you are young, hormone secretion is strong, which can lead to emotional deficiencies

Sex drive is not enough to maintain sex

In the life of the sexes, the emotions between men and women can be divided into four periods (honeymoon period or early marriage), conflict period (mutual adaptation period), transfer period (parenting period) and deep period (returning to the world of two people). If normal sex hormones are the cornerstone of a harmonious relationship, then good emotions are the fusion agent, and appropriate sexual fantasies are the catalyst.

Typically, young people have normal sex hormones and rich sexual fantasies, but physical and imaginative urges often dilute the emotional component. In real life, it is not uncommon for college students to break up as soon as they graduate and young couples to divorce as soon as their honeymoon is over. This is the reason. If the emotional relationship is not handled well, then pure physical impulse is not enough to maintain good sex.

Therefore, young people should respect, understand, tolerate, and adapt to each other. In particular, they should learn to accept all the advantages and disadvantages of each other, and use emotional fusion agents to make the newly established relationship between the sexes more stable.

Emotional transfer makes sex less exciting

The situation of middle-aged people is different from that of young people. They spend most of their thoughts on raising their children and working on their careers, and their emotions are in a transition period, stable but lacking in excitement. At the same time, the approach to menopause will cause sex hormone levels to gradually decrease. The body and mind are gradually moving away from sweetness, and it is dangerous if this situation is not changed.

For middle-aged people, the best way is to increase sexual fantasies appropriately. That is, self-stimulation through thinking activities in an awake state or a sleep-like state, which is a self-performed sexual behavior.

The content of sexual fantasies is undoubtedly full of erotic color. It can occur on its own or during masturbation or during sexual intercourse. An American consulting expert gave the example of a middle-aged man who had always been satisfied with his sex life. For many years, he had fantasized about his wife being plump and delicate when she was young, and the two of them constantly changed the time and place of sex, including the bedroom, kitchen, The memories of their sex were left in the bathroom, and the boredom between the couple was eliminated little by little.

Low sex hormones

Sex is a lifelong behavior. Whether it is sexual ability or sexual needs, they are not lost after entering old age. However, as sex hormone levels further decrease, middle-aged and elderly people after the age of 50 will develop a series of sexual performance problems such as low sexual desire and sexual arousal disorders. Fortunately, with the help of modern medicine, professional doctors can use hormone replacement therapy and drug treatment to improve the sexual status of the elderly. Of course, increasing sexual fantasies also has a certain effect on them.

It should be noted that in real life, many young people do not believe that their parents will "do such things", and often ruthlessly separate old parents and let one of them take care of their children for many years; many elderly people themselves are also ashamed. Continuing a sexual life and maintaining the so-called dignity of the elderly amidst depression and pain will cause great harm to the elderly physically and mentally.

Five types of sex that are most suitable for Chinese people

When couples play sexual games, they should pay attention to one thing: do not think about leading them to sexual intercourse before and during the game. Because once you have this kind of mentality, you will be absent-minded when doing it, and you want to end the sex game as soon as possible, which makes the other party feel like being used. Sex games can be the "prelude" to sexual intercourse, or they can be the "solo" of sexual activity. Both parties should focus on happy intimacy

1. Baby games

The husband and wife can pretend to be children and look at each other's body and sexual organs very "curiously"; they can also murmur to themselves like a baby to stimulate each other's maternal or paternal love; the husband can lie in his wife's arms like a son "Willful, mischievous and wild", playing with and sucking his wife's nipples.

For a wife without children, her husband's sucking makes her desire for future children melt into tenderness for her husband. For a wife who already has children, the gentle touch of her husband's lips evokes the past time of feeding her children. all kinds of happy memories.

If a man can understand that a woman needs his stimulation to reach orgasm, he will restrain his excitement.

The wife can throw herself into her husband's arms like a daughter, act coquettishly, and seek "protection and safety." This can make the husband feel needed and arouse his desire to protect and love him. The wife can also do some coquettish movements to arouse her husband's sexual interest. In this regard, ancient Chinese people concluded that once a woman is charming, her beauty can be as good as six or seven. Women who make people think about them tirelessly and risk their lives to obey them often have a "fascinating attitude".

2. Love Game

Couples can read some love works together, play the protagonist according to the storyline, and perform it in the bedroom. You can also make up your own stories or perform them based on the love experiences of both parties, which can arouse the interest of both parties. These "sweet, bitter, spicy and salty" love experiences can deepen the couple's understanding of human love and cherish the beautiful feelings between both parties. When the interest is high, once one party makes a sexual request, the other party will often respond positively.

3. Animal Games

Couples imitate the movements of animals playing, fighting, and take turns to show each other, thereby causing each other to laugh, relaxing the nerves that are tense due to other things, and maintaining a relaxed, happy and humorous mood. The book "Integrating Yin and Yang" unearthed from Han Tomb No. 3 in Mawangdui, Changsha in 1973 discusses ten sexual intercourse movements that imitate the play of animals, and calls them "Ten Sections".

These ten sections are the specific application of ancient bionics in sexual life. It believes that these ten movements can be used for fun and teasing, or they can be imitated for sexual intercourse. It can be seen that the ancient Fangzhongshu should not only be scientific, but also artistic and entertaining. This is an important contribution of ancient Chinese to the world. Westerners highly praise this and regard it as an important method to renew couples. A researcher from the prestigious Golden West Sex Institute in the United States told me that Chinese people are now keen on translating and introducing Western techniques. In fact, these people may not know that after research, some Westerners believe that more than half of these techniques are The content originated from the Fangzhongshu in ancient China.

4. Nude games

Both husband and wife are naked, either dancing naked to the accompaniment of soft romantic music; or lying in each other's arms, talking about love, and body caressing each other; or playing chess, taking off a piece of clothing after losing a game; Under the light, prepare some wine and food, and chat while eating and drinking. Don't let your eyes idle while chatting.

When necessary, he would lift the ends of her hair and help him wipe away the remaining vegetable scraps from his lips. Maybe this is just a night of pure heart-to-heart talk, maybe it's a night of lingering.

5. Fantasy Games

The difference between humans and animals is that humans have imagination. If there is a lack of fantasy in sexual life, sexual behavior can only be reduced to a series of monotonous mechanical actions. Therefore, couples can imagine each other as a couple in love, or a strange man and woman who fall in love at first sight, and do various actions to tease each other. However, both husband and wife should establish the belief that "promiscuous" only exists in shameless promiscuity outside marriage, and there is no such thing as "promiscuous" in sexual intercourse between husband and wife. As early as the beginning of the 20th century, the famous sexual medicine scientist Hamilton told us: "No matter what kind of sexual play, from a psychological standpoint, there is no taboo. All mutual intimacy between husband and wife is not taboo." That’s not right.”

Couples should pay attention to one thing when playing sexual games. Because once you have this kind of mentality, you will be absent-minded when doing it, and you want to end the sex game as soon as possible, which makes the other party feel like being used. Sex games can be the "prelude" to sexual intercourse, or they can be the "solo" of sexual activity. Both parties should focus on the joyful and intimate emotional experience, rather than always worrying about whether it will lead to sexual intercourse. When one party has no desire for sexual intercourse, the other party should regard it as a unique sexual experience and cannot force it on the other party; when both parties are in high spirits, sexual intercourse will come naturally. In short, everything should go with the flow, and only focus on the process rather than the outcome.

Walking together is foreplay for sex

The male's sexual response is like a light bulb. When you turn on the switch, it will heat up quickly; while the female's response is like iron. You just turn on the switch and it doesn't work. You have to wait and wait before you see her slowly heat up. "This is a classic phrase used by Dr. Cote, a psychologist and sex therapist in Michigan, USA, to evaluate the difference in sexual responses between men and women. It is in order to make up for this difference that sexologists have put forward the previous method

However, a recent study in the UK showed that 80% of the country's men aged 17-70 do not know what they are. Many people think that foreplay is just passionate kissing after going to bed. Some people think that foreplay is not important and is dispensable.

Foreplay is not an appetizer

Some people say that it is the main course, while foreplay is the appetizer. It doesn't matter whether you eat it or not. Even the famous American sexology masters Masters and the Johnsons have this view.

Based on their own personal experience, Masters and Johnson discovered that men and women would make some actions during foreplay that they thought could arouse each other's desire, such as men rubbing the female clitoris vigorously. However, for many people, this approach does not arouse excitement and may even make them feel extremely uncomfortable.

In fact, women’s entire body is covered with sexual sensitive zones, including the clitoris, breasts, thighs, and even hair, which may arouse their interest. Men’s sexually sensitive zones are not limited to the lower body. A passionate look from a woman may also arouse their male prowess. . In addition, sexual-related pictures, videos, and many other things may cause the genital organs to be "commanded" to be armed and ready for battle. However, in the eyes of Dr. Mak Yu, a doctor of sexology at the University of Hong Kong, the term foreplay is not appropriate. Instead, "non-sexual intercourse sexual games" is more appropriate.

Dr. Mai said that it is definitely one-sided to simply understand foreplay as touching and kissing on the bed. He quoted the view from the American Bible: "Sexual games without sexual intercourse" refer to various behaviors that can reduce the pressure of sex. This is obviously more important than foreplay for modern people whose quality of life has declined and sexual passion is insufficient. The concept is more relaxed.

It's best to take a whole day

Foreplay is rich in content, so how long does it need to last? Dr. Mai told reporters that in many sex clinics nowadays, many couples who have decreased sexual frequency are prescribed a full day of foreplay. This formulation surprised the reporter.

"Statistics show that the average length of foreplay is 17 minutes, but that is for bed actions." Dr. Mai said that animals often spend minutes, hours, or even days biting before sexual intercourse. , scratch, smell, press, or nuzzle your partner to make intimate gestures. "Since the purpose of foreplay is to get your partner into sexual reverie, the game starts before you take off your clothes."

Dr. Mai said that if a man is willing to spend an entire afternoon with his partner, joking together, eating together, and cuddling, then this is a kind of foreplay in the eyes of women. But most men will not understand this. They just want to know whether there are skills in foreplay after going to bed. "Of course there are skills. That is to be willing to spend an afternoon walking with her, spend a whole day with her, and do something considerate and warm."

Entering the middle stage, people's physiological functions and psychological states will undergo significant changes. For them, foreplay time needs to be longer. More sweet words, words, and words will help stimulate feelings.

ED patients need more foreplay

Of course, if you are an ED (erectile dysfunction) patient who must rely on medication to help you have sex, foreplay will be different.

Yang Dazhong, an attending physician at the Yuquan Department of Sexual Medicine at Tsinghua University, pointed out that clinically, such people often think that they can have sex directly after taking drugs. In fact, if there is a lack of foreplay, the efficacy of the medicine will not be exerted at all. At this time, you must have more communication with your partner and generate spiritual excitement, so that you can really have a wonderful sex life.

Dr. Yang's suggestion is that a lingering kiss, gentle caress, and visual stimulation can easily create passion. And the longer the time, the more fully the effect of the medicine is exerted. The onset time of such drugs currently on the market ranges from 4 to 40 hours, so it is very important to grasp the time for foreplay.

Dr. Mai especially reminds men that having sex led by women can often lead to more passion and pleasure. Therefore, it is best for women to decide when to start sexual life after foreplay, and the speed is also controlled by women, and the effect will be better.