For most men, whether to have premarital sexual intercourse or not is a more important issue than other aspects of "sex."

For half or more of unmarried men, their entire sexual desire, all their planned sexual activities, is to one day have intercourse with a member of the opposite sex. For other men, having sex with someone of the opposite sex is still a pretty big deal, even though they may find actual sexual release in other ways.

Except for the 15% of the population who have gone to college, most men actually accept and desire premarital sexual intercourse and believe that it is an inevitable phenomenon brought about by normal human development.

Even those who publicly uphold the taboo against premarital sexual intercourse, including those legislators and judges who sometimes seek to punish nonmarital sexual intercourse, are many who at one time in their lives considered premarital and extramarital sexual intercourse to be acceptable. of and worthy of desire. There are not a few people in the general population who openly defend the value of premarital sexual intercourse, especially among the lower classes, but also occasionally among the upper classes and elites. Some students of social affairs believe that a society's traditions are fanatically defended by the middle class. This popular view is obviously based on the opinions expressed by the middle class themselves, not on the actual behavior of those people.

Premarital sexual intercourse is more widely accepted among the peoples of continental Europe than among us Americans. Doctors who came to the United States from Europe mostly believed that premarital sexual intercourse could produce great social value, and they made this view increasingly popular in the American scientific community. Some doctors are already recommending that their patients engage in premarital sexual intercourse, and many indeed find it difficult to adapt to social interactions without doing so. Of course, no sexual activity was more frequently condemned than premarital intercourse. These denunciations were generally purely moral, and from 1912 to 1946 we have seen 37 authors making such denunciations in 36 different books.

There are also some books that denounce the scientific appearance of premarital sexual intercourse, saying that it will lead to unwanted pregnancy, the birth of illegitimate children, infectious diseases, cause psychological distress to the parties involved, cause social and legal problems, make the parties unable to coordinate with their spouses after marriage, etc. . From 1907 to 1946, such discussions appeared in at least 30 books by 23 authors. The issues they involve, such as psychological conditions and the regulation of social relationships, can and should be subjects of scientific exploration, of course. But unfortunately, many of these scientists fall into the fashion of moral condemnation when making grand claims, just like what a person who does not understand science would do. Many denunciations of polygamy, promiscuity, and calls for chastity have been written by biologists, psychologists, physiologists, and psychiatrists. Although they were scientifically trained and gained a reputation for it, they actually learned little from it.

When studying the relationship between premarital sexual intercourse and postmarital coordination, the causal relationship cannot be explained by a simple straight-line two-way effect. At most, it can only show that the two are related, but it does not necessarily mean causation. We cannot say that those who have had sexual intercourse before marriage will necessarily have good or bad coordination after marriage, nor can we say that the opposite will be bad or good.

The situation of premarital sexual intercourse is extremely complicated. It depends on what kind of person the person involved is, whether he accepts premarital sexual intercourse and the degree of acceptance of his entire behavioral pattern, and the content and degree of his psychological conflict. This is especially true for a person who has adopted the sexual views and philosophies of the social class in which he grew up. If a person believes that premarital sexual intercourse is a moral corruption, the inner conflict caused by it will not only damage his post-marital coordination, but also damage his entire personality. Of course, for a person who can truly accept premarital sexual intercourse and has no inner conflict after doing so, the result will be completely different.

Furthermore, the effect of premarital sexual intercourse depends on the status of the sexual intercourse partners and the number of sexual intercourse partners. Whether the woman is from the same social class or from a lower class, whether she is in a social relationship or a business relationship, and whether she and the man are already engaged or intend to get married, all these will play different roles.

The effect of premarital sexual intercourse on post-marital coordination also depends on whether the couple can accept the fact that the other party has had premarital sexual intercourse after marriage, and the degree of tolerance. Even for spouses who believe they can accept this fact, postmarital tensions can lead to recriminations.

The role of premarital sexual intercourse also depends on the context in which it occurs. If physical discomfort or mutual inability to satisfy each other is caused by poor conditions, and if the situation at that time makes the parties terrified of being discovered or suspecting that they have been discovered, the consequences will be equally bad. If the environment is satisfying and there is no fear, the results are completely different.

STDs can also change the meaning of premarital sexual intercourse. Almost all people with college education use condoms, and most of them only have premarital sexual intercourse with girls from the same class. As a result, the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases among these people is extremely low. But among the lower classes, the proportion of people contracting sexually transmitted diseases due to premarital intercourse is quite high, probably higher than the general proportion published by social health organizations, because they do not often use condoms.

The significance of premarital intercourse also depends on the success or failure of both parties' contraception, with fear of pregnancy playing a greater role. Among people with university education, due to widespread contraception, the number of people who get pregnant before marriage is relatively small, while the number of people from other classes is quite high. This is because, in the special sexual activity of premarital sexual intercourse, pregnancy is almost certain if contraception is not used.

Many people say that all those who have had sexual intercourse before marriage regret and blame themselves for it, and this emotion will cast a shadow over their lives. But among the thousands of men we surveyed, there were very few such people. On the contrary, a very large proportion of people did not regret it and did not bring any trouble to their post-marital coordination. It is worth noting that most of those who regretted it happened to be people who had very few sexual intercourses before marriage, mostly only once or twice.

Of course, women obviously react differently to this.

For those who are particularly concerned about the moral value of sexual behavior, this scientific argument is of course meaningless. Because they regard compliance with moral teachings as an important part of their lives, as important as the social value of sexual harmony, and as important as the happiness of a marriage. Scientific research should not ignore the existence of such people.