When it comes to one-night stands, most people think that it is not normal, and seeking one-night stands is also regarded as emotional casualness. But research points out that it is not impossible to find a lifelong partner from a one-night stand.

According to reports, sociologists surveyed 642 adults in Chicago and concluded that the difference after a one-night stand lies in how both parties view the possibility of developing a relationship after getting up in the morning. He pointed out that although the "average relationship quality" of people who have sex after serious dating is better, the real problem is not how early or late they have sex.

After excluding people from the survey who were not interested in serious relationship development, it was found that there was almost no difference in the quality of the relationship whether the relationship came first or the relationship came first. In other words, if two people turn from friends or acquaintances into sexual partners, and both are willing to give their sincerity, they can still be happy in the end. "We didn't find much evidence that relationships that started with sex were of poorer quality," he said.

Research also shows that many people date even if they are not interested in a long-term relationship. I was a little surprised by this research result. After all, dating belongs to the category of romantic love, while "bed acquaintance" and one-night stand are not. "In the dating world, there are people who are looking for a long-term relationship, and there are people who just want to have sex. Basically, there are 'players' and 'non-players.'"

A one-night stand perspective

Regarding one-night stands, it seems inappropriate to simply approve or criticize, but considering the national conditions and the feelings of most people, critical voices are obviously safer.

Morally difficult to evaluate

One-night stand should be a common phenomenon in industrial society and urban society.

From a more profound social basis, the social form and people's lifestyles have changed. From rural life to modern society with high anonymity, at least the invisible pressure of public opinion no longer exists, and people may have More freedom of movement.

It is difficult to make a moral evaluation of one-night stands. Relatively speaking, there should be no moral problem with one-night stands before marriage, and I think it is a matter of rights. In some countries, more than 95% of people have premarital sex. It cannot be said that more than 95% of people are immoral. The number of people in China having premarital sex is also increasing. The statistics I made in the late 1980s were 15%. I'm afraid it has changed a lot now. As for one-night stands after marriage, because there is a marriage contract before it, there is something morally blameworthy. Marriage is a choice in human history, and it naturally has its rationality, such as reproductive function, ensuring the purity of blood, etc. However, now that there are many DINK families, the situation changes, and the corresponding moral standards will also change.

No redeeming qualities

For a thousand years in China, from the Song Dynasty until the late 20th century, sex has been in a state of confinement and not much has changed. After the reform and opening up, people were influenced by Western culture - after the mid-20th century, the West launched a sexual revolution, advocating sexual openness and unrestricted sexual freedom. Due to the long-term sexual repression in our country's history, once it is broken, it will easily go to the other extreme. , Western culture has its essence, but it also has many negative elements. From the perspective of sexual science, we should not only pursue sexual freedom, but also pursue sexual health. Sexual freedom is not absolute and without any restrictions. Human sexuality includes factors of love and morality. If you overindulge your sexual desire and pursue so-called pure sexual satisfaction, people will become decadent and depraved. Sex is instinctive, natural, and more social. Humanity's choice of monogamy is the negation of group marriage and hybridization in the past, and it is the progress of civilization. One-night stands that purely pursue sex have no merit and should be completely rejected. Encouraging one-night stands encourages people to be irresponsible, which is not conducive to social stability. Moreover, from an individual point of view, as a person with a sound personality, he should not adopt a casual attitude towards sex.

There is a positive side

The relationship between men and women in traditional cultural concepts is that men are superior to women, men are dominant and women are subordinate, men are strong and women are weak. Women's activeness and initiative in a one-night stand temporarily changed this relationship - women also have the right to express themselves sexually and satisfy their own sexual needs. From a certain perspective, it is also a sign of progress. In modern society, women are gradually getting rid of their passive and submissive status. Some men even complain that women are too active in marriage life, which makes men feel pressured.

Of course, the positive side cannot be exaggerated infinitely. In any case, we are still in a male-dominated society, and the disadvantaged position of women has not completely improved. Women's sexual initiative is more likely to be criticized. On the contrary, society is always more tolerant of men. If a woman is not mentally prepared enough to bear the consequences, if there are consequences, women may be harmed even more. Because women bear more pressure from public opinion than men.

Cannot be tolerated

The existence of the emotional component in the relationship between the sexes is what distinguishes humans from animals. If a person can put aside emotions and pursue pure sexual needs, how is he different from animals? Society must not adopt an understanding and tolerant attitude toward one-night stands, let alone promote them. One-night stand is one of the many problems of postmodernity. Postmodernity originated in the West and overemphasizes the so-called individuality and freedom, breaking rules. No society can live without rules, and modernization must abide by the rules. One-night stands cannot be regarded as an advanced phenomenon. "Ahead of time" means that it will become a trend in the future.

Purely personal life

One-night stands belong entirely to an individual's private life. Unless there is a direct relationship, others have no right to point fingers at it.

If society were tolerant of premarital cohabitation, trial marriage, and premarital sex, it would not be too harsh on one-night stands. There is no strict distinction between them in nature. Even if a one-night stand occurs after marriage, it is difficult to make a simple blanket accusation. Suppose a woman, her husband is impotent, and she resorts to a one-night stand to solve her sexual needs. Is this completely unacceptable?

There are two problems that one-night stands need to face, one is a health problem, and the other is a personal moral issue. If a person thinks that neither of these is a problem, then he may have a one-night stand.

For some modern young people, one-night stand is a very exciting and challenging thing. They will consider a lot before taking this step. Some people do not indulge in it after trying it once or twice. All they need is an attempt to show that they are not bound by a certain set of rules. Of course, some people will like this lifestyle.