Finding a partner

In traditional Yemeni families, you have no choice but to marry, and it is basically your parents who make the decision. Parents are the head of the family, especially the father, who has absolute authority. Moreover, according to Islamic rules, men and women are not allowed to be intimate with each other, so apart from family and relatives, young men rarely have the opportunity to have contact with women, and it is even rarer to meet girls. Therefore, you can only rely on your parents, relatives and friends to choose your fiancée.

“It’s important for boys to get married when they are older, and for girls to get married when they are older.” In Yemen, when young men reach the age of seventeen or eighteen, their parents begin to arrange marriages for their sons. First, the mother will pay attention to the children of relatives, friends and neighbors (if they are cousins, it is also allowed to marry them). In Yemen, women also have their own social activities. They communicate with each other and enhance understanding through collective activities such as chatting, cooking, worshiping, and knitting blankets. Most mothers use this method to find future daughters-in-law. If a girl is chosen, the mother will discuss it with the father, and the father is generally familiar with the male members of the girl's family. If you are not familiar with it, ask a friend to ask. Or go to the girl's home for a field trip and look at the appearance of the house to get a rough idea of ​​how the family is doing. Only when both parents agree will they seek their son's opinion. As for the girl, if the two families are related, the young man will know a little bit, but if not, he will know nothing.

Blind date

Then, the parents will send someone to the woman’s home to propose marriage. Of course, the woman will also have to go through some investigation. If she doesn't object, a blind date will be set. On that day, the young man and his father bring gifts to the woman's home. The main purpose is to allow the woman's family, especially the girl herself, to observe and understand them closely. If she is lucky, the girl may have the opportunity to offer tea or dates to guests, but of course she must wear a thick veil. This time, the woman knew a little more about the man, but the young man still knew very little about the girl.

At the end of the blind date, the woman's father usually does not agree to the marriage immediately. Instead, he asks for a period of time to consider and discuss, and to seek his daughter's opinion. If both parties have no objections, the next step is the formal proposal.

Proposal

The day to propose is usually chosen on Thursday or Friday. On this day, the young man and his father, accompanied by three to four male relatives and friends, came to the woman's home again with raisins, dates and other gifts. The young man respectfully delivered the engagement ring and the clothes for his fiancée and her mother to the girl's father through his father. Both parties agree on the specific date of the wedding and the number of wedding ceremonies. Most of the wedding ceremony is borne by the young man's father, and is mainly used to buy jewelry and clothes for the future bride. According to Yemeni customs, after marriage, these jewelry and clothes become the bride's private property, and the husband is not allowed to touch these things even after many years of marriage. Even if divorced, it belongs entirely to the wife. If the man cannot collect the money temporarily, he can do it later, but it must be before the marriage. After this time, the marriage between the two parties was basically settled. It is considered humiliating for either party to suggest remorse.

Engagement

In Yemen, engagement is part of the wedding. Wedding ceremonies generally last three days, from Wednesday to Friday. Wednesday afternoon is the time for both parties to formally sign the engagement; Thursday is the time for both parties to prepare and entertain close relatives; Friday is a day off for locals, and the bride and groom are officially married. The engagement ceremony takes place at the woman's home. Under the auspices of an aunt, the groom and the bride's father sat down face to face. The groom will implore his future father-in-law: "In the name of Allah, are you willing to marry your daughter to me?" The father-in-law replies: "In the name of Allah, I am willing to marry my daughter to you. "Alu asked the bride's father: Does his daughter agree to this marriage? The answer is of course yes. Then, both the groom and the father-in-law stretched out their right hands and held each other tightly. Ah Gu then held a piece of white cloth, put it on their hands, and began to recite the first chapter of the Koran to pray for the couple.

The climax of the ceremony is when the bride's father throws raisins into the air, which symbolizes a happy marriage. Relatives and friends present, especially children, will rush to pick up the raisins dropped on the carpet. Whoever picks up the most will be the happiest in the future. Of course, these raisins were not picked up for nothing. According to local custom, anyone who picks up raisins must give a more or less congratulatory gift. At the wedding scene, someone will sing the names of the guests and the number of gifts. If there are too few, it will be impossible to get them. These gifts are mainly used to pay for the grand wedding banquet.

Getting married

Friday is the most important and lively day of the wedding, when the bride and groom officially get married. The chef came early in the morning with kitchen utensils, slaughtered sheep and cattle, cooked vegetables and rice, and prepared for the sumptuous wedding banquet at noon. There will be hundreds of guests, maybe more, on this day. Neighboring women would bring their own dishes and help the hostess with the preparations. Several clean rooms, or even several houses, are prepared in advance, where the groom, accompanied by his family and guests, worships and prays before the luncheon. When they came out, the musicians played cheerful drums, and a group of young men sang and danced, surrounding the groom wearing a brand-new Arab robe and holding a golden sword into the bridal chamber. The guests sat on the floor, and the grand wedding banquet began with cheers.

The entire afternoon was a time for celebration. Ah Ku recited scriptures from time to time and prayed for the happiness and health of the couple's life. The musicians played the tambourine, the pipa, and the Hu Sheng. The boys danced to the songs and sang loudly. The guests sat on the floor surrounded by incense, smoking tobacco leisurely, or chewing dates and raisins. People will gradually disperse until the sun sets.