Cultivate children to sleep in separate rooms and seize the good morning time. Many men regard their wives’ pregnancy and childbirth as the beginning of their “cultivation”. In order to ensure the health of their baby, they willingly lived a life of "no desires and no demands" during their wife's pregnancy. After the baby was born successfully, their "sexual happiness" was declined on the grounds of "noisy child" and "too tired and uninterested". "I sometimes want to be close to my husband, but firstly, it is inconvenient for the elderly to take care of the children at home, and secondly, I have to take care of my family, children, and career, and I have no time to be affectionate with my husband." A new mother said in an interview Zhong told reporters. Ye Bin, director of the Psychology Center of East China Normal University, told the Life Times reporter that in recent years, newborns have indeed affected more and more couples' lives. This impact is mainly reflected in the following aspects: First, the mother will spend more time taking care of her children, and her emotions will be scattered. She will definitely not be as focused on her husband as before, which makes her husband feel neglected. Second, children in China are basically used to sleeping with their parents. Many even go to elementary school and are used to sleeping between their parents, which seriously hinders the sexual life of couples. Third, some women undergo caesarean section, which has a psychological impact on both parties. Fourth, modern people are under great pressure to cope with work and children, and they are more likely to express their anger. For example, some wives will scold their husbands for not helping with housework, or they may think that their husbands do not make enough money. At this time, I hope that both parties can sit down and have a good talk with an attitude of solving problems. "Both parties must re-plan their lives and find solutions instead of blaming each other. We can learn from some foreign experiences." Ye Bin told reporters, In European and American countries, children are basically allowed to sleep in separate rooms after the age of 3. In normal times, a nanny will be hired to take care of the children regularly so that they can have time to go out. These can serve as a reference for families raising their own children. If an elder takes care of the child on weekdays, you can discuss with a friend who has young children on weekends and send the child to his home during the week and ask him to take care of it, and take his child to your home during the week. In this way, parents can get a rest and themselves can have time to relax. Then the couple can dress up, go shopping, have a meal, or watch a movie. In addition, after returning home from get off work and taking care of the children after dinner, both parties are already very tired. If they want to have sex at this time, they may not be able to do what they want, and they may also make the other party feel disgusted. So you might as well choose to have high-quality sex early in the morning after both parties wake up, when both parties are full of energy. It doesn't matter if the time is shorter. Liu Jun, an attending psychiatrist at Beijing Anding Hospital who once visited the marriage and family consultation clinic, told reporters that Chinese people are "somewhat not surprised" by postpartum asexuality. For more people, this is a balanced state. If both parties don't think this will affect the marriage, then don't try to change it. ▲

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