[Emotional Monologue] Emotions are more private than the body.

The deepest love hidden in your heart, you cry for it and laugh for it, you are anxious and sweet alone. Let us share with you those secret emotions that are not suitable for others to express.

After a fierce and tortuous extramarital affair, my wife fell into the arms of another person, and my lover broke up with me. Now only my 3-year-old son and I are left to depend on each other.

On a rainy night in early summer, I walked into her dormitory

I am an associate professor at a university and once had a happy family life, but it was all ruined by me.

In the fall of three years ago, I was invited to the Three Gorges Hotel to attend an academic seminar. There was a slender and beautiful girl in the reception team. When she met me, she said: "Finally, a young and promising person has arrived." The girl's tone was very special, and I couldn't help but take a second look at her.

The meeting lasted until the second day, and I was already very familiar with the girl. Her name is Shangguan Li and she is a graduate student. Her supervisor is the organizer of this conference and brought her to do conference work. I saw Shangguan Li's paper among the materials distributed at the conference. It has very unique insights, but she is still a student and will not give a speech at the conference.

That night, the meeting arranged to watch a performance. I didn’t want to watch it, and Shangguan Li also said she wasn’t interested. We really had a clear understanding, so the two of us started walking along the river embankment. The moonlight was bright and clear, and the river surface seemed to be covered with a layer of silver light. She said she had read many of my articles and admired me very much. I suddenly felt a little carried away. A man needs to be respected and worshiped. It is easy to treat a woman who respects him as a confidante.

After the seminar, we started to interact more frequently, and I was surprised by how quickly our relationship developed. Finally, one rainy night in early summer, I stayed in the dormitory where she lived alone and did not go home. Afterwards, I recalled that both of us were very proactive that night.

On the third day after that night, Shangguan Li came to school to find me. She said that she had given it to me and that she was mine and should have everything about me.

Shangguan Li’s words surprised me and made me realize that the problem was serious. I originally wanted to end this relationship as soon as possible, but I was obsessed with her beauty and unique temperament. Moreover, if there is a first time between a man and a woman, there will be a second and third time... I finally got into it. I've fallen into an emotional cycle and can't get out.

When I was with Shangguan Li, I was very hesitant. I thought of my wife and son and blamed myself. Shangguan Li said to me: "My dear, you are not wrong! Why can't you pursue a woman who is better than your wife? Love is the biggest reason in the world!" I couldn't bear to leave Shangguan Li, so I decided to harden my heart. Filed for divorce from his wife.

One side of my heart is my wife and the other side is my lover.

It is not easy to speak to my wife. How many times have I swallowed the words that have rushed to my lips. However, after Shangguan Li urged me again and again, I finally plucked up the courage to clarify my relationship with Shangguan Li to my wife, and tremblingly asked her for a divorce. I know how much this hurts her. But I told myself, I have to be hard-hearted.

The next evening, when I returned home, I suddenly froze. There were two stainless steel spoons on the bedside table. I had almost forgotten how they appeared.

When my wife and I got married, our financial conditions were very poor and we didn’t have enough money. We didn’t buy any furniture, only a bed, and my wife didn’t even complain. I felt a little sorry, so I bought two exquisite stainless steel spoons. My wife smiled and said, these are our tokens.

In this way, I had two spoons, one for each person, and used them for three years. Later, when the things in the house were added one by one, my wife put away the spoons and was reluctant to use them again. Why did she take them out today? ? In the midst of my surprise, I saw another photo next to Shao, which showed me holding my son. My son was like a little lamb in my arms, with the hospital in the background. I remembered that this photo was taken when I picked up my wife and children from the hospital when the child was born.

Looking at the spoon and the photo, my heart felt excited. I rushed out of the house. My wife was chopping vegetables in the kitchen, her back facing me. I called her name loudly. She trembled but did not turn around. I hugged her from behind. That night, my wife was always close to me. My heart was full of remorse, and the thought of divorce became much lighter.

A few days later, I saw Shangguan Li and told her that I didn’t want a divorce. Her face immediately turned gloomy. The two of them walked silently on the street. When they were crossing the street, Shangguan Li kept walking straight forward. A car drove over quickly and screeched to a stop, scraping against her body. A man stuck out of the car window. head, and cursed: "Don't die, come to the road to seek death!"

I was frightened, and hurriedly stepped forward to pull her away, saying that it was too dangerous just now. She said bitterly: "Forget it if you hit me to death." Then two lines of tears poured down. I dare not look directly into her big, sad eyes. She is a girl who would rather die without love. How could I let her down? I thought about it and decided that I still wanted a divorce.

I spent a lot of effort to write the divorce application. When I returned home and met my wife, I lost the courage to submit it.

Three days later, Shangguan Li called me to make an appointment. When we met, I noticed that she had black marks under her eyes and she looked very tired. After asking, I found out that besides going to school, she also worked two jobs in a computer company and an information company. My heart ached, and I asked her why she didn't care about her body so much. After my questioning, Shangguan Li told me her true thoughts.

She thought that when I escaped from my family, I would be alone and not take anything with me. She must save more money now to prepare for our new life in the future. There is such a strange woman in the world! My nose felt sore and I hugged her tightly, unable to say a word.

After several sleepless nights of thinking, I finally came up with what I thought was a clever idea - if I don’t make a decision within half a year, none of them will bother me and let me calm down and do some research. subject. In these six months, if any woman outside has someone who loves her, let her go, I want the remaining one. My wife heard this and called me ridiculous. After hearing this, Shangguan Li was stunned for a long time, biting her lower lip with her teeth, her face turned pale, and said, "You will regret it."

The wife is leaving, and so is the lover

< p>From then on, I really started to implement the plan that I thought was smart. I lived in a separate room with my wife and did not meet Shangguan Li. I just concentrated on my research.

However, after only three months of this kind of life, my peace was broken. My wife has changed. She often comes home half an hour late after get off work, and she can't explain the reason. One day after get off work, I went to pick up my wife from get off work. Sure enough, I saw a man stopping my wife. The two of them looked very affectionate.

When I got home, I kept asking questions, and my wife had no choice but to tell me the truth. The man was a quality inspector in their factory. Once she fainted on the way, he was the one who sent her to the hospital. In the hospital, the quality inspector noticed that she looked wrong and asked her why, but she refused to tell her. But the quality inspector revealed his true feelings. It turned out that he had a crush on her many years ago, but he felt that he was not worthy of her, so he never said it. Seeing her marry me, he felt regretful in his heart, and he never got married. After sending her to the hospital that time, the quality inspector often waited for her at the factory gate. After several conversations, he gradually learned about the conflicts between our husband and wife. Immediately, his old love sprouted like a spring grass that cannot be burned by wildfire. .

Yes, I said, let them choose within half a year, because I have full confidence in my own charm, but I never expected that my wife would change so quickly.

That night, I tossed and turned and couldn't sleep. I want to go to Shangguan Li quickly and take back my promise. I can't let anything happen to her again.

The next day, I went to look for Shangguan Li at the university where she was studying. She was walking towards me, holding a straw hat and a net bag. She told me that she was going to Tibet to participate in social practice and would leave tomorrow. I asked her who she was going with, and she named two people. I knew one of them, a doctoral student, very talented. I suddenly had an ominous premonition in my heart. I was stunned for a while and said, "Can you not go?" Shangguan Li raised her eyebrows: "This is graduation practice. Do you think you can not go?"

I realized that my wife's heart was far away from me, so I eagerly looked forward to Shangguan Li's early return. Day after day, after waiting for 18 days, she finally returned from Tibet. After the meeting, she took out the newly developed photos. I took them and looked through them, and found that in one photo, she and the doctoral student were very close to each other. My heart trembled, and I quickly said: "What I said before was all crazy. Don't take it seriously. I won't let you leave me!"

Shangguan Li said slowly: "I have solemnly said I have always thought that we should not be like we were in the past." After hearing this, I suddenly felt like a thunderbolt, and said in panic: "No, I can't live without you, why did you change your heart?" Shangguan Li said, "I think love should be the same. Crystal must not contain impurities."

A few days later, my wife cooked a sumptuous dinner. I felt a little strange, so my wife said to me: "We are just a couple, let's get together and be together!" I said sullenly: "Shangguan Li doesn't want me anymore, are you going to leave me too?" My wife said: "It's not me. You asked me to leave." My heart seemed to be stabbed by thousands of sharp knives. I grabbed her hand and said, "You are my married wife." My wife broke away and ran to the window. Looking at the night outside the window: "Don't say anything more, think carefully about how it all started!"

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