There is a saying that is very accurate: "We are all single-winged angels, and we can only fly when we are combined." So, why can't some combinations fly? This may also be attributed to the seven mentalities in marriage. To maintain long-term love, we must put an end to this mentality!

1. High expectations for marriage

From falling in love to getting married, we have been "deceiving" ourselves with our own fantasies. This "deception" is more often unconscious, blind, and transcends time and space. It can equate passionate love with " A fantasy of passionate” marriage. Because of the impact of passion and the packaging of sweet words, there are high expectations for married life. The beautiful marriage in fantasy has replaced the real marriage. The story of Snow White and the Prince has evolved into "high standards" in married life. ", the embodiment of "strict requirements", this is a kind of outer packaging we add to marriage, that is, our high expectations for marriage.

When this kind of beautiful fantasy and artificial packaging is replaced by the trivialities of married life, and as the needs after marriage cannot be met, the emotions of disappointment and despair will be like "black clouds over the city", accompanied by a feeling of being deceived. The feeling comes to us together. In fact, it is not that the person deceived you, but that your high expectations for marriage deceived you.

2. Overly proud and sensitive mentality

In married life, moderate self-esteem and sensitivity are a good mentality, but too much self-esteem and sensitivity will push your marriage to a dead end. Strictly follow the instructions before marriage, and follow the instructions after marriage. One is diligent and the other is procrastinating. The contrast before and after marriage has forced our self-esteem into a narrow alley. One of the spouses will think that his or her spouse is looking down on him or her and does not respect him or her.

In order to defend one's own dignity, one is too "self-respectful" and sensitive to the other person's words, deeds and actions, especially the other person's inadvertent words or unintentional actions. This kind of mentality is called excessive love at best, or neurosis at worst. If not desensitized in time, it will only accelerate the other party's rebellious psychology and psychological heaviness in the long run.

3. The mentality of shirking responsibility

There are inevitable storms in life, and difficulties and setbacks are inevitable in marriage. When storms hit, what is most needed is a sense of responsibility and mutual support on the part of both parties, rather than mutual blame, avoidance and blame-shifting.

Choosing a person, a marriage and a life are all your own decisions. Since it is your choice, you should have the courage to face and bear everything. Shirking and evading responsibilities can only make complaints promote and intensify the relationship between the two. The emotional breakdown between them.

4. The mentality of expecting returns

The marriage of some couples is like a big saw. No matter how much I pay for you, you have to pay me back; if I treat you well, you have to be good to me, otherwise, this big saw will not work.

If one party does not do well enough and does not love enough, the disappointment, trouble, and unhappiness of the other party will come as expected, and all the happiness in the past will be easily ignored, and troubles and unhappiness will not be so easily forgotten. Go immediately. Once this kind of emotion penetrates into married life, it will easily lead to one party's loss of control and psychological imbalance. Emotional deviations are likely to lead to marital deviations.

5. Disrespectful mentality

After you have been married for a long time, you will think that the other person is already yours. What you say and do does not come from your heart. From the way you speak to the handling of family affairs, you will be very casual and rarely take into account the feelings and attitudes of the other person. .

In fact, in a family, respect is the basis for love and harmonious coexistence between husband and wife. Many of the unhappiness that occurs when a husband and wife get along are due to one party not respecting the other in the handling of some small things, which leads to a fight between the husband and wife. Some couples even start a long-lasting psychological battle in order to fight for publicity. The cold war has become a frequent visitor to devour love. Once love is shrouded in such a bad atmosphere, how can the warmth between husband and wife last long?

6. Intolerant mentality

In a family, whether one can do well or not, and whether one does well or not are relative, but not absolute. Many things come from not being able to do it, and only in the process of doing it will there be a qualitative change in not being able to do it. Therefore, every time a husband and wife do something, they should try not to force or blame them, let alone find fault.

However, many couples just don't understand this principle. If something doesn't go their way, they will blame each other. As time goes by, the accused party will not only not feel that what he has done is bad, but will develop a desire to fight back. Due to long-term depression and dissatisfaction, it is inevitable that the relationship between husband and wife will be hot or cold. If the suppressed emotions cannot be released in time, the depression and dissatisfaction between each other will be triggered at any time.

7. Over-reliance

The emotional and psychological interdependence between husband and wife can deepen the degree of love between each other, but too much dependence may become an emotional and psychological burden for each other. On the surface, excessive dependence is a manifestation of love, but in fact it is a kind of plunder and possession of love.

Normal dependence is a state of mutual support and psychological satisfaction. Beyond this kind of support and state, you will have doubts about your love, suspecting that the other person no longer loves you, or that the love for you is not strong enough or deep enough. After doubting again and again, he let love stay away from him again and again.

7 details to see through a man

His time with friends.

A man who still has a good relationship with his childhood friends should be loyal. However, relationship expert Riz Kelly said that he may be conservative and not willing to accept new things, so you need to be patient.

What sports does he like?

Gender relationship expert Steve Nakamoto pointed out that men who like running, swimming and other sports like to be alone; men who like football, basketball, baseball and other team sports like to compete with others; those who do not like sports are more sensitive. .

What did he order?

A man who likes to choose home-cooked meals is usually steady and practical, but he is also a person who does not like to take risks. People who like to try new dishes are more spontaneous and like innovation.

His chosen method of communication.

Does he like to call, email, or text? Psychology professor Dr. Jeff Brisson believes that people who like to send emails are used to hiding their true selves; people who make phone calls are more direct; people who send text messages hope to get your attention at all times.

His driving habits.

Leon James, a Ph.D. in psychology at the University of Hawaii, pointed out that if he is angry while driving in a traffic jam, it means that he is aggressive, outstanding at work, but difficult to get along with; if he behaves calmly, it proves that he has strong self-control.

The speed of his speaking.

If he talks quickly, this means he is outspoken and energetic, but may be a bit stubborn. People who speak slowly are cautious and more rigorous in their lives.

What kind of clothes does he like you to wear.

If he likes you to wear denim T-shirts or sportswear, then he probably likes a simple, leisurely life. Men who like you to wear formal or fashionable clothes are usually good at making money and value social prestige. Men who like women wearing sexy short skirts are usually conceited.