A man only wants to keep his secrets deep in his heart

Secret 1: His emotional record

Case: JACKY, 32 years old, company project manager

In Before I got married, I had a girlfriend who broke up with me for various reasons.

I was in great pain for a while until I fell in love with my current wife and got married.

I have never told my wife about my past relationship experience, but she doesn’t know what she has heard, and always pesters me to ask about it. Sometimes I accidentally neglect her, and she will She asked me with jealousy and grievance: How did you treat her in the past? You won't be as indifferent to me, right? I'm at a loss as to what to do.

I really want to tell her not to be so interested in my past in the future, but I am afraid that she will misunderstand me more, and I really don’t know how to say it.

Men’s thoughts: Almost every man has a colorful love life, but in a man’s heart, “women of the past” and “women of today” are people from two different planets. Men are not The reason why men are willing to tell all this to women is not that they are ashamed of it, but that men think that no matter how well-educated women are, they are jealous. If a man exposes his "ugliness", will he still have a good life in the future? Therefore, all this has become an extremely repressive secret for men.

A woman’s response: Just let his emotional experience become a dusty past event. Set up his secret as a "minefield" in your heart, and always remind yourself not to get involved. Even if you hear a few words, don't get to the bottom of it. Your stubbornness and stinginess will only arouse his memories and even think about that "her". Benefits, what are the benefits? A smart woman knows not to dig her own trap.

・Keywords:

1. Broken love: Because it was embarrassing, I didn’t mention it at all.

2. Online dating: Men will not admit this kind of less than aboveboard behavior.

3. Aventure: Only men find it wonderful when it feels like stealing, and they think the best way to enjoy it is to keep it as a secret.

4. Admiration: For a married man, this is a secret he keeps tight-lipped.

Secret 2: Various “feminine” psychological needs

Case: Cui Tao, 36 years old, vice president of the company

In the eyes of many people, I I am a so-called "successful person": I have a high salary, a big house, and a famous car. In fact, I also have secrets that are not known to everyone. For example, when I am tired from working hard, I also want to rest my heart on my wife's shoulders; I have suppressed my grievances and emotions outside. I feel sad, and I also want to cry heartily; sometimes I also want to live a carefree life like a child, or act coquettishly... But I am also afraid that if my wife knows about it, it will affect me in her mind. "Brilliant" image.

Men’s thoughts: In terms of individual life, men are actually more fragile than women, but both women and men formalize and absolute men, as if men mean masculine, strong, and Pragmatic, carefree, slovenly... In fact, this is not the case. Men also have many unknown "feminine needs", but these are secrets that are only done but not revealed, and women are not allowed to open up and see what happens.

Women's response: Men are "face" animals and like women's appreciation and admiration. Therefore, this secret of men is very subtle and cannot be easily revealed. Women just need to face it calmly, understand it, and understand it in their hearts. Never tell them verbally, let alone encourage him to be "weak" or "childish" out of love, otherwise men will think you are looking down on you. This was intolerable to him; there was also a tacit knowledge of his vanity and beauty, which would only make him angry.

・Keywords:

1. Vanity: It is difficult to make more money in your pocket, but it is much easier to make yourself look like a rich person. .

2. Weakness: Men also have a weak side, but this cannot be made public.

3. Stinky beauty: Men generally refuse to admit that they like to dress up. This is also a "secret" of men.

4. Childish: It looks like a shameless thing, but it is actually a coquettish thing, but it is not suitable for large-scale development.

Secret 3: The so-called "man's own business"

Case: Liu Ming, 30 years old, media reporter

In my free time after get off work, I often talk to A group of friends got together, chatted, drank some wine, and felt very comfortable. But my wife is always worried. Sometimes she has to make several phone calls a night to chase her: Where are you? With whom? What are you doing? It makes people tire of it.

She also always asks about my work. I know she did this out of concern, but I really don't want her to interfere too much in my own affairs.

Men’s thoughts: Women are good at details, like to communicate, ask questions, and even get into trouble. Men, on the other hand, often feel that those are their own affairs, and women don’t need to make a fuss about it, because men’s affairs must be handled by men.

Women’s response: When your husband needs you to be his wife, don’t try to be his work and life planner. Everyone has a psychological need to have their own living space, and men are no exception. Therefore, a woman's wise choice is to let him go crazy, let him cultivate his "private land", his friends, his work situation, etc. !

・Keywords:

1. Work situation: Some work matters should be kept secret in order not to bring things during the day into the night. Therefore, men don’t like women to interfere.

2. Socializing: Men like to play with friends of the same sex and do not like women to intervene.

3. Dream of getting rich: It is almost every man’s dream to want to get rich overnight, but he has to do it behind his wife’s back, hoping that one day he can give his beloved woman a big surprise.

Secret 4: Sexual anxiety

Case: ANSON, 40 years old, company employee

My wife and I are relatively harmonious sexually, but I always worry involuntarily And anxiety, such as worrying about whether my size is long enough, the number of times, and the time to satisfy her... But I don’t want my wife to know about these anxieties, let alone mention them on her own initiative.

Men’s thoughts: Sex is a lifelong event for men, they care about it very much, and they think about it every six minutes. Sex is an important cornerstone of a man's self-esteem and self-confidence. No matter what kind of man he is, he is unwilling to admit that he is sexually incompetent. Men are more or less anxious about their sexual abilities. But this is a huge secret that women cannot know.

Women’s response: Behind men’s sexual excitement, there is actually a struggle. Therefore, the appreciation and trust from his wife are the best "*" for a man. No matter what the reason is for his "slippage", the wife should remain calm on the surface, let alone complain.

・Keywords:

1. Frequency: Men usually intentionally falsely report, and they overreport.

2. How long: In terms of duration, men are very secretive, so wives should not break the taboo.

3. "A few people are prone to illness": The safest rule is not to kill someone without telling them!

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