When you are enjoying the sweet and happy world between you two, will he lie to you? Do you really know your partner clearly? As the saying goes, "If a man is reliable, sows will climb trees." Therefore, in order to avoid the psychological misunderstandings about your partner's cheating, follow us to take a look at the 12 major psychological misunderstandings about cheating, and to find out the truth behind it.

Myth 1: It’s not a lie if no one finds out!

If you are never caught, you never see someone again, and you are having safe sex and you don't tell anyone, does that count as cheating? It all depends on you. If you really feel that the wind has passed Wuhen, then you don’t need to count it. But the problem is that few people feel from the bottom of their hearts that there is absolutely nothing wrong with cheating. Even the best liar will know that cheating is a bad thing, and when you deceive your partner, your feelings towards the other person are also changing. You will feel that the other person is either too naive or too easy to deceive. In short, an essential element in the relationship between men and women has been lost: respect.

Myth 2: Cheating is because she is unhappy at home

On this issue, men and women are different. When a woman cheats, it's a sign that she's not satisfied with her relationship, but it's a little different for men. No matter how much a man loves his wife and no matter how happy his life in bed is, they will still not give up having a romantic affair once they have the opportunity, as long as they feel that they will not be caught. A survey showed that 56% of men who cheated thought their marriages were happy, while only 34% of girls agreed.

Myth 3: Cheating is because she is unhappy at home

Some affairs are just for sex, and most of them include sex. This is because having sex with someone other than your partner is taboo. It’s precisely because it’s not possible that makes people want to try it even more. But an affair doesn’t have to be just about sex, simply put, it’s about getting something your partner can’t give you. As for what this thing is, it varies from person to person. Sometimes even the cheaters themselves can’t tell what it is. Some of them are to recall something they lost when they were young. Some are to pursue the feeling of youth. Some people are even unfaithful to their “perfect” partner because they are fed up with this. A sense of perfection! Therefore, affairs and sex cannot be equated.

Myth 4: If he cheats on you, it means he no longer loves you

It may seem that way, but that may not be the case. But this does mean that he no longer respects you that much, and he no longer values the promises you made before. And your values ​​are already different. Some people can separate love and sex. Their cheating is simply sleeping with someone else, but it does not mean that they no longer love their partner.

Myth 5: Men cheat more than women

This may have been the case before, but now the reason why men and women cheat is actually the same: they like the new and dislike the old. Cheating is always bad, but the feeling of doing something bad makes you want to try it even more. It’s just that women prefer to use this kind of interface: Anyway, my partner doesn’t value me, so I am “qualified” to enjoy a casual relationship. In the past, we would only buy ourselves lipstick, a new haircut, etc., but now we use it for men. However, cheating on women still carries more burdens than men because women are more likely to feel guilty. However, since research shows that women are better at lying, it is more likely that women will cheat without being caught.

It is also a misunderstanding to say that men like to get their female friends into bed. Most men who are unfaithful think that they should find someone farther away to avoid trouble. On the contrary, psychologists believe that it is women who secretly hope that friendship will develop into romance. They always invest a lot of affection in their friends of the opposite sex and keenly test whether the relationship can develop into a better relationship than the one I have now. Therefore, women often make friends to find their true soul mates, while men just do it for fun.

Myth 6: Sleeping with your ex doesn’t count as cheating, since you’ve done it before anyway

People who have had affairs always think that sleeping with their ex is no problem. At least it is not as unforgivable as sleeping with someone new. Since they have already broken up, the affair will not be complicated. In fact? Big mistake. What you are thinking about may be that you have slept in the past, but now it is just catching up on sleep, which does not represent any future possibilities. But what about the other party? He may think this is a precursor to your getting back together. So you are faced with the dilemma of breaking up with him again, and you also have to explain to your current girlfriend why after so long, your ex suddenly starts sending you emails and calling you again. This is much easier to detect than sleeping with a stranger. At least the stranger can leave after sleeping, and the ex wants to email to break up.

Myth 7: As long as you work hard enough, you can eliminate the possibility of a third party

You can reduce the chance of this happening, but there is no 100% guarantee against cheating. The best thing we can do is find the right partner. Choosing the right person is definitely more important than trying to make him happy after being together. After all, moral values, values and family background will have a decisive impact on whether he or she cheats.

Myth 8: If someone has a history of cheating, he will definitely cheat again

This is not a misunderstanding, but it is absolutely true. If your partner has been unfaithful to each of her exes, and nothing has happened that gave her a chance to fully reflect, there is no doubt that she has been unfaithful to you too.

Myth 9: Once you have an affair, you must confess it to your partner

If by chance you are caught, you'd better confess proactively, so that you have more chances to save your relationship. But if you think you're less likely to be discovered if you do it secretly... there's also a reason not to mention it. Some experts suggest that if your partner does not have a strong personality, you should not confess to him or her. After all, this kind of confession will take a devastating blow to his or her self-confidence, and may destroy the trust you have worked so hard to build, and it will then take years to rebuild a more fragile relationship. More importantly, figure out why you started an affair. What did you get out of it? Is this something you can get from your partner?

The worst reason is to say it and it will make you feel better. This will indeed alleviate your guilt, but it will make your partner suffer as much as possible. Since you made a mistake, you should find a way to solve it.

Myth 10: If there is no sexual intercourse, it is not cheating

Emotional infidelity - Deep, passionate relationships between people, from platonic friendships to romantic love, always make people mistakenly think that they are not cheating. In fact, this is the biggest threat a marriage can face. 80% of cheating starts with "a friend," often a co-worker. Studies have shown that 50% of women and 62% of men have had adulterous affairs with their work partners. Quiet and full of desire at the same time, the plot is as tense as a spy movie. This kind of emotional abandonment is very dangerous, but it always works out, and it's easy to become addicted once you try it (who wouldn't want such a good thing). If you have a significant other but always pretend to be single, if you always secretly send emails and text messages, if you love to talk to the other person about your concerns but are unwilling to tell your significant other about meeting that person, it means that you have emotionally cheated.

Myth 11: Having sexual fantasies about outsiders means you are about to cheat!

Many sex therapists will encourage couples to imagine having sex with someone else. Logically speaking, as long as it's not in bed, having an affair in your head is fine. But some people think that this is very dangerous. Sexual fantasies can bring about the desire to cheat because the value of sexual fantasies is to let you imagine a passionate and perfect sex. Extramarital encounters in real life are not as exciting and perfect as fantasy, so strong sexual fantasies may make people more likely to have the urge to cheat.

Myth 12: An affair can save your marriage

It is the eternal excuse for those who like to have affairs. Obviously he lied to you, can you imagine a couple talking like that? "Husband, we have become more and more sweet since we had an affair~" Obviously this is not possible... An affair means betrayal of trust, regular lying, and betrayal of trust. Even those who managed to escape felt a rift in their relationship, a hint of resentment, sadness, or guilt.

Japanese media reveals three major factors that expose women to cheating

Recently, the divorce rate in Japan has continued to rise, and the culprit of divorce is often the cheating of one party. Even if you feel you are comfortable with this, in fact some small opportunities will expose you. An article published by Japan's livedoor news website took stock of the three major factors that expose cheating.

There are three main factors that cause cheating exposure, namely behavior, psychology and negligence.

Japan reveals three major factors for women to cheat

1. behavioral factors

When cheating, people often show different behavior patterns, and it is easy to detect as long as the other half pays a little attention. The following behavior is quite suspicious:

(1) Dress up carefully

(2) Suddenly started losing weight

(3) Lies about meeting new friends more often

(4) The mobile phone starts to be locked

(5) Frequently delete communication records and history records on your mobile phone

(6) More voicemails are forwarded when making calls

(7) Sudden change in taste of things

(8) Going out excitedly on the pretext of working overtime or going on a business trip

2. Psychological factors

When cheating, a person's mood will become complicated, and they are often both excited and full of guilt. These moods can easily be unconsciously reflected in changes in their words and deeds, and the other half can get clues from them.

(1) My eyes look more beautiful

(2) Lack of eye contact during conversation

(3) Talking suddenly becomes more or less

(4) Become more hysterical than before

(5) Often inexplicably restless

(6) I have suddenly become very gentle recently

3. Negligence factors

Accidental cheating was exposed.

(1) Communication on laptop or mobile phone was discovered

(2) Credit card consumption details exposed

(3) The thank you letter sent from the hotel where you stayed during the trip was seen

(4) Clues were found from the bus card records

(5) A suspicious invoice was found in the pocket

(6) The smell of perfume on your body when you come back from a business trip

(7) The smell of cigarette smoke when returning from shopping

(8) Accidentally bringing expensive gifts home

When these behaviors are normal, they may feel like nothing, but over time, everyone will be exposed.

Muzi Li: I don’t regret cuckolding my husband at all

Two people who don’t know how to manage a marriage have turned their marriage into a tragedy. Now, if we put down all attachments and turn around cruelly, maybe both of us can be freed.

Blog friend’s message:

Muzi Li:

I am a woman who has been a cuckold to my husband for a year. Now, as my lover comes out of the water, I have been called a bad woman by my neighbors. In fact, I don't regret anything about cheating.

What outsiders saw was my betrayal of my husband. What they didn’t see was that after more than ten years of marriage, my husband violently abused me every time he got drunk.

I met my husband on a beautiful campus. When my roommate introduced him to me, I was attracted by his qualities. My first impression of him: he doesn't talk much, he's handsome, and he's a little shy.

Although I felt he was cold and selfish during our relationship, he was loyal to me, and even after graduating from college, he was willing to come and live in my city. So, we got married.

After getting married, his shortcomings were exposed one by one: he didn’t like to clean up the house and kept things in disorder; after work, he either played games online or slept, and had almost no communication with me; the things he did as a couple were also very perverted, forcing I kissed his smelly feet.

Faced with his many unreasonable demands, I gradually learned to say 'no'. At the same time, he became addicted to tobacco and alcohol, and even drank with his colleagues until early in the morning and stayed away from home. I couldn't call him to urge him, otherwise I would get a meal. abuse.

After my child entered elementary school, his behavior became even more exaggerated. He refused to turn in his salary, did not spare a penny for family expenses, and often beat me when he was drunk.

In this state, I am disheartened.

One lonely night, my husband hadn’t come home from drinking. I turned on the computer and logged into the chat account I had neglected for many years. When the dialog box popped up, there were too many messages from my high school classmates. So, I learned a secret: the person who had been ignored by me for many years. The man I have a crush on has also been liking me all these years. He was not online at the time, but I left my mobile phone number and I received a call from him the next day.

Disappointed in my marriage, I quickly found spiritual comfort from him. After chatting for a month, he made a special trip to see me. That day at the hotel, we crossed the threshold.

In the days that followed, I had no time to estimate my husband. It didn’t matter to me what time he wanted to come home. Running around each other's cities with my lover, we are busy and happy.

We have reached a consensus: for the sake of each other's children, we cannot divorce.

A few days ago, my lover came to the city where I live again and found several hotels, all of which were fully booked. I thought that my husband must still be at the wine table at this moment, so I boldly took my lover home. I wanted to let him come back overnight after having a romantic relationship, but I didn't expect that my husband came back early that night and caught my lover and me.

After that, my husband called me a shameless woman when he met others, and even publicized my cheating on our local forum.

Facing my husband’s ferocity, I didn’t regret my cheating at all. I filed for divorce, but my husband disagreed.

Now, I am stuck in my marriage and face the humiliation and beatings from my husband every day. I don’t know how to escape.

Reply to blogger:

Many people who have cheated will say this: I cheated because I was disappointed in my marriage. What I want to say is: Since you are dissatisfied with your marriage, why don't you divorce first and then renew the relationship? Why do you do something romantic and make your innocent self suffer infamy?

Even in the days when I was hanging out with my lover, I never thought about divorce. Is it just to give my children a complete family that I wasted my life in an unhappy marriage?

Personally, I feel that cheating is an emotional catharsis and an escape from being dissatisfied with the current marriage but unable to turn things around.

In the post-infidelity period, your husband’s ferocious and perverted behavior declared that it was impossible for you to get back together. His unwillingness to divorce was not because he still missed the relationship between you, but because he was not satisfied with the fact that you cuckolded him. Vent your anger to relieve your anger.

You tell me that you can't get a divorce now because your husband doesn't agree to the divorce. I don’t think it’s what you said. The reason why you are still struggling in your marriage is because there are too many things worthy of your attachment in this marriage.

In the past, your husband attracted you because he didn't talk much, was handsome, and was honest. Why did these qualities of his hinder your happiness after marriage?

Your husband used to be a non-smoker and alcoholic. Why is he not only addicted to alcohol now, but also violent towards you after drinking?

Although he is not a perfect man and cannot meet your longing expectations, he is a man who is loyal to his marriage and is willing to come to live in your city for love. I dare to ask, behind your "cold" rejection of him time and time again, have you ever thought that he has also felt chilled and regretted?

Two people who don’t know how to manage a marriage have turned their marriage into a tragedy. Now, if we put down all attachments and turn around cruelly, maybe both of us can be freed.

Advice given: If divorce cannot be achieved by agreement, file for divorce.

As adults, I just hope that each other can learn from failed marriages and be smarter in the next marriage.

A sarcastic question: During the time when you and your husband were having trouble, what did your beloved lover do or where did he hide?