Children generally do not sleep in separate rooms with their parents until they are five or six years old, and it is common for children to sleep in the same bed. Couples have to wait until their children are asleep before they can enjoy sex, but even if they avoid it, there will still be the embarrassment of being caught inadvertently. What should parents do if their children catch them having sex? What are the psychological effects of children witnessing adult sexual intercourse? In fact, this is a "danger" for both parents and children, but there is also an "opportunity" in the "danger". Here are some suggestions for parents to help you resolve the embarrassment and make it a good time for parents and children to face sexual problems honestly. Chance.

What should parents do if their children catch them having sex?

1. Parents may feel startled, shy, or even angry. This is a very normal psychological reaction under the circumstances; but you must stay calm and digest this emotion in the shortest possible time. Do not Scolding a child angrily will intensify the child's sense of shame and guilt. In addition to covering up and adjusting the body posture as soon as possible, attention should be transferred to the child as soon as possible. The more natural this process is, the better.

2. If a child asks "What are you doing?" it means he doesn't know anything about it. This is a good opportunity for sex education. Children have the right to know, and parents also have the right to be informed. What should you tell your children? Tell them that this is a sign of parents' love for each other, and tell them that sexual behavior is a natural behavior that humans have had since ancient times, and it also has its own unique rules. According to the age of the child, use the language he understands and explain concisely, because this is also an unexpected event for the child, he is not mentally prepared, and it is not appropriate to give a long explanation. The principle is to start with rhetorical questions, such as "What do you think we are doing?" Understand where the child's curiosity lies, rather than fixating on the parent's own embarrassment about sex, which is difficult to talk about. If the child keeps asking questions, parents should stop it, because there is too much information that the child cannot digest in time. Especially the parents are not in a state where they are fully prepared to provide sex education to their children. Therefore, use the child's curiosity to You can continue to educate him about sexual knowledge in the near future.

3. If the child does not speak, turns around and walks away (turns around and pretends to sleep), it means that the child feels that the scene is uncomfortable. As for whether he truly understands what sex is about, it is not yet known. At this time, parents should not take the initiative to communicate with their children. You should take the initiative to understand your children's understanding of sex in the near future and provide appropriate sex education.

4. If a child expresses any negative emotions, parents should communicate with the child as soon as possible. It is best to understand the reasons for the child's negative reaction. If the child refuses to communicate, parents should take the initiative to express it, such as "We are not fighting; he is not bullying me; we have not done anything embarrassing; we are willing to do such things." "We love each other, this is one of the ways adults express love; this matter is our privacy, we are not with you, it doesn't mean we don't love you anymore" and so on. The purpose is to seize the opportunity to prevent or promptly correct children's negative concepts or even wrong perceptions about sex.

5. Couples should avoid blaming each other, as this will aggravate the child's discomfort and even self-blame.

6. Husband and wife should comfort each other, learn lessons, discuss a good way, and try to avoid such things from happening again; do not let such unexpected events affect their future sex life.

Children of all ages react to seeing their parents having sex

According to a research report, children of different ages have different mentalities and reactions when they inadvertently witness adult sexual intercourse.

Many children aged 3 to 4 still sleep in the same bed with their parents, and some even sleep on the same end. Parents have sex only after their children are asleep. Because the couple gets carried away while making love and the movements are too big and too violent; or because they get carried away and make happy noises during sex, the child wakes up. The children are not clear when they wake up, and in their sleepy eyes, even if they see or hear the sound of their parents having sex, they are like monks, scratching their heads. The children feel baffled that their parents stay up late at night. I fell asleep, didn't care about anything, turned over, and fell asleep again. After parents notice that their children are awake, they should immediately stop their actions and pay attention; if their children ask questions in a daze, they should calmly and tactfully explain and prevaricate, so that they can cover up the past and easily downplay the sexual intercourse witnessed by the children. impression. However, if it happens again and again, and if things continue like this, the child will become suspicious, and may even turn from unintentional witnessing to intentional witnessing. At this point, things get complicated.

Children aged 5 to 6 or slightly older inadvertently witness adult sexual intercourse. Although they do not understand the reason and the secret, they are somewhat curious and amused. If you are curious, you want to find out; if it is fun, you want to imitate it. They wait, looking for a chance to see it again. They inquire and spread the word among their peers. They asked a series of questions in front of other adults they trusted. When you get the chance, play the 'make love' game. Boys, in particular, often forcefully play "making love" games and imitate sexual intercourse in vulgar ways, regardless of the other person's wishes.

Children aged 10 to 12 are no longer just baffled and curious when they inadvertently witness adult sexual intercourse. They often compare certain love-making actions with the rape actions of certain sex offenders in movies and television, as well as social customs and opinions, and make their own opinions. They confuse lovemaking in a legal married life with sexual violence committed by illegal gangsters. They believe that the father 'bullies' the mother; the brother-in-law 'ravages' the sister...